{138}{226} [ Orchestra: Pastoral ]
{744}{817}[ Birds Twittering ]
{1015}{1109} There's a bunch of birds 
{1112}{1192} ln the sky 
{1196}{1254} And some deers 
{1256}{1368} just went running by 
{1370}{1458} Oh, the snow's|pure and white 
{1460}{1599} On the earth|rich and brown 
{1601}{1694} just another|Sunday morning 
{1696}{1762} ln my quiet 
{1764}{1854} Mountain town 
{1930}{2020}- [ Groans ]|-  The sun is shining|and the grass is green 
{2022}{2106} Under the three feet|of snow, l mean 
{2109}{2197} This is a day when it's hard|to wear a frown 
{2199}{2267} All the happy people|stop to say hello 
{2269}{2357}- Get out of my way!|-  Even though the temperature's low 
{2359}{2420} lt's a perfect|Sunday morning 
{2422}{2485} ln my quiet|little mountain town 
{2487}{2546}Well, good morning, Stan.
{2548}{2617}- Mom, can l have eight dollars|to see a movie?|- A movie?
{2619}{2707}Yeah. lt's gonna be the best movie ever.|lt's a foreign film from Canada.
{2709}{2772}All right.|But be back for supper.
{2774}{2827}Thanks, Mom.
{2829}{2891} Oh, what|a picture-perfect child 
{2893}{2960} just like jesus|he's tender and mild 
{2962}{3070} He'd wear a smile|while he wore a thorny crown 
{3073}{3149} What an angel with|a heart so sweet and sure 
{3152}{3222} And a mind|so open and pure 
{3224}{3355} Thank God we live in this quiet,|redneck mountain town 
{3357}{3423}Dude!|Dude, wake up!
{3483}{3541}[ Stan ]|Kenny, come on!
{3543}{3586}[ Muffled ]|Coming!
{3588}{3683}The Terrance and Phillip movie is out.|You wanna come?
{3685}{3773}- [ Muffled ] Sure. Let's go!|- Where do you think you're goin'?
{3775}{3876}- [ Muffled Reply ]|- You can't. You have to go to church.
{3878}{3928}- [ Whining ]|- [ Mother ] Well, fine.
{3930}{3981}Go ahead and miss church.
{3983}{4082}Then when you die and go to hell,|you can answer to Satan!
{4085}{4146}[ Muffled ]|Okay!
{4149}{4212} You can see your breath|hanging in the air 
{4215}{4274} You see homeless people|but you Just don't care 
{4276}{4379} lt's a sea of smiles in which|we'd be glad to drown 
{4381}{4469} [ Muffled Singing ]
{4513}{4578}That's right!| lt's Sunday morning 
{4580}{4621}[ Choir joins ln ]| ln our quiet, little 
{4623}{4696} White-bread|redneck mountain town 
{4698}{4751}Ba-ba-ba-ba-bah!
{4753}{4831}- Ready, lke? Kick the baby!|- Don't kick the baby.
{4833}{4882}- Kick the baby!|- [ lke Shrieks, Giggles ]
{4916}{4981}lke! You broke another window!
{4983}{5059}That's a bad baby!|Bad baby!
{5062}{5139}Kyle, we're going to|the Terrance and Phillip movie.
{5142}{5221}- Oh, my God, dude!|- Kyle! Where are you going?
{5224}{5267}Uh, ice skating.
{5269}{5327}Well, take your|little brother with you.
{5329}{5422}- He's not even my real brother.|He's adopted.|- Do as l say, Kyle!
{5424}{5464}Okay, okay, l'm sorry.
{5521}{5582} Look at those frail|and fragile boys 
{5584}{5657} lt really gets me down 
{5659}{5725} The world|is such a rotten place 
{5727}{5786} And city life's|a complete disgrace 
{5788}{5866} That's why l moved to|this redneck, meshugeneh 
{5868}{5930} Quiet mountain 
{5932}{6026} Town 
{6028}{6105}- lke! Bad baby!|- [ Murmurs ]
{6108}{6165}[ TV Announcer ] This program|is brought to you by Snacky Smores...
{6167}{6240}- the creamy fun of Smores|in a delightful cookie crunch.|- [ Doorbell Rings ]
{6242}{6300}Mom! Somebody's at the door!
{6302}{6364}- Coming, hon.|- Aah! l can't see the TV!
{6366}{6454}lt's been six weeks since Saddam Hussein|was killed by a pack of wild boars...
{6456}{6526}and the world is still glad|to be rid of him.
{6528}{6590}Oh, look, Eric.|lt's your little friends.
{6592}{6651}- Cartman!|- What are you guys doing here?
{6692}{6768}Oh, sweet, dude!|Yes! Yes!
{6770}{6853} Off to the movies|we shall go 
{6855}{6928} Where we learn everything|that we know 
{6930}{6971} 'Cause the movies teach us 
{6973}{7041} What our parents|don't have time to say 
{7044}{7132} And this movie's gonna|make our lives complete 
{7134}{7186} 'Cause Terrance and Phillip 
{7189}{7250}-  Are sweet |- Super sweet!
{7253}{7302} Thank God we live|in the quiet 
{7304}{7399}- Little, redneck podunk, white-trash |-Whoo-whoo!
{7401}{7457} U... S... 
{7459}{7541} A 
{7543}{7632}Can l have five tickets to Terrance|and Phillip's Asses of Fire, please?
{7634}{7689}No!
{7724}{7771}What do you mean, ''no''?
{7773}{7831}Asses of Fire|has been rated ''R''...
{7833}{7891}by the Motion Picture|Association of America.
{7893}{7964}You have to be accompanied|by a parent or guardian.
{7966}{8034}- But why?|- Because this movie|has naughty language!
{8037}{8104}- Next, please.|- [ Cash Register Rings ]
{8107}{8181}- This can't be happening.|- We have to see this movie, dude.
{8184}{8257}Ah, screw it. lt probably|isn't all that good anyway.
{8259}{8325}Cartman, you love|Terrance and Phillip!
{8327}{8385}Yeah, but the animation's|all crappy.
{8458}{8505}Wait. l've got an idea.
{8507}{8616}Uh, hi. l want six tickets|to Asses of Fire.
{8618}{8686}This movie might not be appropriate|for your little ones.
{8688}{8758}He says this movie|isn't appropriate for you.
{8760}{8833}Look, Mr. Homeless Guy, if you|don't want to buy us tickets...
{8835}{8913}and not get your ten bucks|and not buy yourself a bottle|of vodka, then be my guest.
{8915}{8985}- Six tickets, please.|- [ Register Rings ]
{8987}{9063}[ Murmuring ]
{9066}{9124}- Let me have some candy, Cartman.|- Oh, let's see.
{9126}{9184}Uh, nope, l don't have|any jewish candy.
{9186}{9247}Like you really need|all that chocolate, fat boy!
{9250}{9312}- Ba-ba-ba-bah!|- Shh! The movie's starting.
{9461}{9523}- Hooray!|- Say, Terrance.
{9525}{9607}What did the Spanish priest say|to the lranian gynecologist?
{9609}{9652}l don't know, Phillip.|What?
{9654}{9713}- [ Fart ]|- [ Laughing Hysterically ]
{9715}{9786}- [ Laughing ]|- Where do they come up with this stuff?
{9788}{9848}You're such a pig fucker,|Phillip!
{9850}{9899}[ Gasps ]|What did he say?
{9901}{9959}Why would you call me|a pig fucker?
{9961}{10051}Well, let's see.|First of all, you fuck pigs.
{10053}{10112}- Oh, yeah.|- [ Laughing Hysterically ]
{10114}{10187}[ Terrance ] Well, fuck my ass|and call me a bitch!
{10229}{10276}Oh, you shit-faced cockmaster!
{10279}{10367}- [ All ] Wow!|- Shit-faced cockmaster.
{10369}{10417}Listen, you donkey-raping|shit-eater.
{10419}{10513}- Donkey-raping shit-eater.|- [ Babbling ] Shit-eater.
{10515}{10588}- You'd fuck your uncle!|- You'd fuck your uncle!
{10626}{10698} Shut your fucking face|uncle fucker 
{10700}{10783} You're a cock-sucking|ass-licking uncle fucker 
{10785}{10845} You're an uncle fucker|Yes, it's true 
{10847}{10883} Nobody fucks uncles|quite like you 
{10885}{10950} Shut your fucking face|uncle fucker 
{10952}{11037} You're the one that fucked your uncle|uncle fucker 
{11040}{11098} You don't eat or sleep|or mow the lawn 
{11100}{11138} You Just fuck your uncle|all day long 
{11171}{11224}-  [ Rhythmic Farting ]|- Hmm!
{11226}{11315} [ Rhythmic Farting Continues ]
{11352}{11425}[ Disgusted Murmuring ]
{11427}{11475}[ Terrance, Phillip|Laughing Hysterically ]
{11477}{11520}- [ Loud Fart ]|- What's going on here?
{11522}{11610} [ Rhythmic Farting Continues ]
{11612}{11688}- What garbage!|- Well, what do you expect?|They're Canadian.
{11795}{11856}[ Chorus ]| Uncle fucker 
{11858}{11920} Uncle fucker, uncle fucker|Uncle fucker 
{11922}{11984}-  Oooh-ooh |- [ Fart ]
{11986}{12046}-  Shut your fucking face|uncle fucker |-  Uncle fucker 
{12048}{12138} You're a boner-biting bastard|uncle fucker 
{12141}{12187} You're a uncle fucker|l must say 
{12190}{12248} Well, you fucked|your uncle yesterday |[ Laughing ]
{12250}{12310} Uncle fucker|That's U 
{12313}{12376} N-C-L-E |Fuck you!
{12380}{12434} Uncle fucker 
{12437}{12473}Suck my balls.
{12606}{12660}Dude, that movie|was fucking sweet!
{12662}{12771}- You bet your fucking ass it was.|- Fuck, dude, l wanna be Just|like Terrance and Phillip.
{12773}{12850}- Wait a minute. Where's your guardian?|- Huh?
{12852}{12971}l knew it! You paid a homeless guy|to get you in, didn't you?
{12973}{13041}Fuck off, you donkey-raping|shit-eater!
{13043}{13086}[ Fart ]|Yeah.
{13088}{13146} Shut your fucking face|uncle fucker 
{13148}{13239}[ All ]  You're an ass-licking|ball-sucking uncle fucker 
{13320}{13384}- Hey, hey, hey!|- [ Laughing ]
{13386}{13446}Ahhh!
{13496}{13574}- Where have you guys been?|- Oh, nowhere.
{13577}{13641}We Just went to see|the Terrance and Phillip movie.
{13644}{13725}- [ Gasping, Chattering ]|- How'd you get in?
{13727}{13806}Hey, stop crowding us,|you shit-faced cockmasters!
{13808}{13849}[ All ]|Wow!
{13851}{13920}You're all a bunch of|ass-ramming uncle fuckers!
{13922}{14007}- [ All ] Ooooh!|- We've got to see this movie.
{14009}{14085}Terrance and Phillip are Canadian,|Just like my brother.
{14181}{14233}[ Voice-over ]| There's the girl that l like 
{14235}{14357}Hey, Stan, tell about|when Terrance called Phillip|a testicle-shitting rectal wart.
{14359}{14446} Now more than ever|she gives me butterflies 
{14448}{14501} lt makes my stomach queasy 
{14503}{14575} Every time she walks by 
{14578}{14650}Asshole, l'm talking to you!
{14652}{14731} l know l can be cool|if l try 
{14734}{14777}Hi, Stan.
{14779}{14842}Gross!
{14844}{14921}Come, Wendy.|Let us try to Jump the hilly brush.
{14923}{15000}- Who are you, kid?|- My name is Gregory.
{15002}{15080}l Just transferred from Yardale,|where l had a 4.0 grade point average.
{15082}{15147}Wanna skate with us?
{15149}{15238}We've been skating and laughing|and talking of memories past.
{15240}{15333}- We saw the Terrance and Phillip movie.|- Oh-ho!
{15335}{15386}Try and catch me, Wendy.
{15430}{15478}Bye, Stan.
{15564}{15652}Yes, yes, l saw|the Terrance and Phillip movie.
{15654}{15712}Who wants to touch me?
{15714}{15772}l said, who wants to|fuckin' touch me?
{15803}{15861}- Ooh!|- Come on, gang.
{15863}{15951}We gotta see the Terrance|and Phillip movie too.
{16014}{16085}l hate you, Kenny.
{16089}{16152}[ Rooster Crowing ]
{16154}{16233}[ School Bell Ringing ]
{16235}{16288} Shut your fucking face|uncle fucker 
{16290}{16362} You're a boner-biting bastard|uncle fucker 
{16364}{16453}-  You're a--  Shh! Shh!|- Okay, children, let's take our seats.
{16455}{16529}We have a lot|to learn today.
{16532}{16590}We sure do, Mr. Hat.
{16592}{16695}Okay, children, let's start the day|with a few new math problems.
{16697}{16763}What is 5 times 2?
{16807}{16886}Don't be shy.|just give it your best shot.
{16916}{16963}- Yes, Clyde.|- Twelve?
{16965}{17024}Okay, now let's try|to get an answer...
{17026}{17085}from someone who's not|a complete retard.
{17087}{17161}Anyone?|Come on. Don't be shy.
{17163}{17221}l think l know the answer,|Mr. Garrison.
{17223}{17281}- [ Mocking Gibberish ]|- Shut up, fat boy!
{17283}{17390}- Hey, don't call me fat,|you fucking jew!|- Did you Just say the ''F'' word?
{17392}{17450}- ''jew''?|- He's talking about ''fuck.''
{17452}{17518}- You can't say ''fuck'' in school,|you fucking fat-ass.|- Kyle!
{17520}{17565}- Why the fuck not?|- Eric!
{17568}{17623}- Dude, you said ''fuck'' again.|- Stanley!
{17626}{17686}- [ Muffled ] Fuck.|- Kenny!|- What's the big deal?
{17689}{17747}lt doesn't hurt anybody.|Fuck, fuckity, fuck-fuck-fuck!
{17749}{17820}How would you like to go see|the school counselor?
{17822}{17889}How would you like|to suck my balls?
{17891}{17967}- [ All Gasp ]|- What did you say?
{17969}{18059}U-Uh, l'm sorry, l'm sorry.|Actually, what l said was:
{18061}{18109}[ Feedback ]
{18111}{18237}How would you like|to suck my balls, Mr. Garrison?
{18268}{18306}Holy shit, dude.
{18341}{18389}[ Grunts ]
{18391}{18459}l'm very disappointed|in you boys.
{18461}{18519}M'kay? You should be|ashamed of yourselves.
{18522}{18606}- l've already called in your mothers--|- You called my mom?
{18609}{18667}- That's right.|- Oh, no, dude!
{18669}{18746}- Mr. Mackey, can l ask a question?|- M'kay, what?
{18749}{18807}- What's the big fuckin' deal, bitch?|- Yeah!
{18809}{18935}Aaah! Now, l want to know|where you heard these horrific|obscenities! M'kay?
{18937}{19054}- Nowhere.|- We heard them from Mr. Garrison|a few times before.
{19056}{19144}Boys, l seriously doubt that|Mr. Garrison ever said, uh--
{19146}{19218}''Eat penguin shit,|you ass spelunker.''
{19220}{19290}- [ All Laughing ]|- Sweet!
{19343}{19397}Uh-oh.
{19433}{19495}Thank you all for coming|on such short notice.
{19497}{19555}This isn't like you,|Stanley.
{19558}{19646}What did my son say, Mr. Mackey?|Did he say the ''S'' word?
{19648}{19733}- No, it was worse than that.|- The ''F'' word?
{19735}{19838}Here's a short list of things|they've been saying. M'kay?
{19840}{19928}- Oh, dear God.|- What the heck is a rim Job?
{19930}{20046}Why, that's when you put|your legs behind your head|and have someone lick your ass.
{20103}{20235}Young man, tell Mr. Mackey|this instant where you heard|all these horrible phrases!
{20237}{20301}- l-- l--|- We can't tell you.
{20303}{20388}- We swore ourselves to secrecy.|- lt was the Terrance|and Phillip movie.
{20390}{20452}- Dude!|- Fuck you guys.|l wanna get out of here.
{20454}{20518}Terrance and Phillip?|Those Canadians?
{20520}{20583}What the heck is|Terrance and Phillip?
{20586}{20633}Terrance and Phillip...
{20636}{20694}are two very untalented actors|from Canada.
{20696}{20766}Nothing but foul language|and toilet humor.
{20768}{20903}l'll send a warning letter|to parents before more children|see Terrance and Phillip.
{20905}{20958}- Everybody's fuckin' seein' it.|- Eric!
{20960}{21067}l'm sorry. l can't help myself. That|movie has warped my fragile little mind.
{21069}{21186}- My mom gave me egg again.|- [ All Chattering ]
{21281}{21329}[ Voice-over ]| There's the girl that l like 
{21390}{21483} Over there laughing|with that smart new-- 
{21485}{21582}Hey! You're holding up|the goddamn lunch line!
{21585}{21638}Hello there, children!
{21641}{21685}- Hey, Chef.|- How's it goin'?
{21687}{21725}- Bad.|- Why bad?
{21727}{21777}We got busted for swearing.
{21779}{21837}We can't ever see the Terrance|and Phillip movie again.
{21839}{21923}- Oh, that's too bad.|- You should've seen Kyle|when his mom showed up.
{21925}{21994}He was scared|out of his mind. Shut up.
{21996}{22054}l'd be scared too.|Your mom's a fucking bitch.
{22056}{22108}Don't call my mom a bitch,|you fat fuck!
{22110}{22170}Don't call me fat,|you butt-fucking son of a bitch!
{22172}{22250}Whoa, children! Where did|you learn to talk like that?
{22252}{22295}[ Cartman ]|Pretty fuckin' sweet, huh?
{22297}{22384}Chef, how do you make a woman|like you more than any other guy?
{22386}{22476}Oh, that's easy.|You Just gotta find the clitoris.
{22478}{22525}- Huh?|- Whoops!
{22527}{22627}- What does that mean,|''find the clitoris''?|- Forget l said anything.
{22630}{22692}Move along.|You're holding up the line.
{22695}{22770}You guys, do you know where|l can find the clitoris?
{22773}{22841}- The what?|- ls that like finding jesus?
{22843}{22951}[ Mr. Mackey ] Attention, students.|We are now enforcing a new dress code...
{22953}{23003}at South Park Elementary.
{23005}{23113}Terrance and Phillip T-shirts|are no longer allowed in school.
{23115}{23217}Anyone wearing a Terrance and Phillip|shirt is to be sent home immediately.
{23219}{23334}[ Children Cheering,|Laughing, Chattering ]
{23395}{23503}The R-rated Canadian film Asses of Fire|is number one at the box office.
{23505}{23563}But is the film|destroying American youth?
{23566}{23641}Here with a special report|is a midget in a bikini.
{23644}{23762}lt appears the effects of the Canadian|comedy are far-reaching indeed.
{23764}{23838}All over America|children seem to be influenced...
{23841}{23899}like at this spelling bee|in Washington.
{23901}{23962}This is for|the silver medal.
{23964}{24022}Spell ''forensics.''
{24024}{24105}Aw, fuck that. Why should l fucking|have to spell ''forensics''?
{24107}{24170}- Yeah!|- Here you go.
{24172}{24284}''S-U-C-K M-Y A-S-S.''|Forensics.
{24286}{24374}Tom, the devastating impact|of the Canadian duo can also be seen...
{24376}{24486}with their new hit song,|''Shut Your Fucking Face,|Uncle Fucker.''
{24488}{24584}[ Rapping ]| Shut your fucking face|uncle fucker 
{24587}{24641} You're a boner-biting bastard|uncle fucker 
{24644}{24683} Eh-eh|Eh-eh-eh-eh 
{24685}{24735} l told you|that we won't stop 
{24738}{24790} Thought l told you|that we won't stop 
{24792}{24880}- Back to you, Tom.|- Thanks, Midget. Shocking report.
{24882}{24955}The controversy began in the small|mountain town of South Park...
{24957}{25030}where the local P.T.A.|is trying to ban the movie.
{25032}{25135}- With us tonight is the head|of the P.T.A., Sheila Broflovski.|- Hello.
{25137}{25223}- And the Canadian minister of movies.|- Thanks for having me, buddy.
{25225}{25301}Minister, parents are concerned about|your country's entertainment.
{25303}{25346}Your thoughts?
{25348}{25436}Well, the film is R-rated.|lt's not intended for children--
{25438}{25526}- But of course children|are gonna see it.|- Can l finish?
{25528}{25602}- We Canadians are quite|surprised by your outrage.|- You Just don't care!
{25604}{25648}Can l finish? Hello?
{25650}{25738}The United States has graphic violence|on television all the time.
{25740}{25828}We can't believe that a movie|with some foul language|would piss you off so much.
{25830}{25909}- Because it's evil!|- Can l finish? Please! Can l finish?
{25941}{25992}Okay, l'm finished.
{25994}{26102}But it isn't like this film is the first|troublesome thing to come out of Canada.
{26104}{26162}Let us not forget|Bryan Adams.
{26164}{26252}The Canadian government has apologized|for Bryan Adams on several occasions.
{26254}{26312}You Canadians|are all the same...
{26314}{26372}with your beady eyes|and flapping heads.
{26374}{26447}- You're trash!|- l resent that! l find that racist!
{26449}{26533}- Our children are now|addicted to your trash.|- You are a racist, ma'am!
{26535}{26690}lt is going to take us weeks|to erase the damage this film|has done to our children!
{26758}{26869}Um, kids, l wanna welcome you|to rehabilitation. M'kay?
{26871}{26952}Your mothers insisted that you be taken|from your normal schoolwork...
{26954}{27025}and placed into rehab|to learn not to swear.
{27027}{27085}l don't belong|with these rogues.
{27087}{27175}l attended Yardale and had|a 4.0 grade point average.
{27177}{27235}You're a fuckin' faggot, dude.
{27237}{27310}M'kay, children, this is|what l'm talking about.
{27312}{27382}We have to get you off|of foul language.
{27384}{27456}- How are we gonna do that?|- Well, listen here.
{27458}{27548}[ Speaking Song lntro ] There are times|when you get suckered in...
{27550}{27666}by drugs and alcohol|and sex with women-- m'kay?
{27669}{27740}But it's when you do|these things too much...
{27742}{27894} That you've become an addict|and must get back in touch 
{27896}{27988} You can do it|lt's all up to you, m'kay 
{28032}{28126} With a little plan you can|change your life today 
{28128}{28198} You don't have to spend your life|addicted to smack 
{28200}{28283} Homeless on the streets|Giving hand Jobs for crack 
{28285}{28379} Follow my plan|and very soon you will say 
{28381}{28458} lt's easy, m'kay 
{28460}{28502} Step one|lnstead of ''ass,'' say ''buns'' 
{28504}{28574} Like ''kiss my buns''|or ''you're a buns-hole'' 
{28576}{28624} Step two|lnstead of ''shit,'' say ''poo'' 
{28626}{28703} As in ''bull-poo,'' ''poo-head''|and ''this poo is cold'' 
{28706}{28750} Step three|With ''bitch,'' drop the ''T'' 
{28753}{28827} 'Cause bich is Latin|for ''generosity'' 
{28830}{28874} Step four|Don't say ''fuck'' anymore 
{28876}{28941} 'Cause ''fuck'' is the worst word|that you can say 
{28943}{29013} So Just use the word ''m'kay'' 
{29015}{29059} We can do it|lt's all up to us 
{29061}{29128}-  M'kay |- M'kay.
{29130}{29195} With a little plan we can|change our lives today 
{29197}{29246} You can change it today 
{29248}{29319} You don't have to spend your life|shooting up in the trash 
{29321}{29383} Homeless on the streets|Giving hand Jobs for cash 
{29385}{29471} Follow this plan|and very soon you will say 
{29473}{29541} lt's easy, m'kay 
{29543}{29617}- Step one.|- lnstead of ''ass,'' say ''buns.''
{29619}{29650}Like ''kiss my buns.''
{29653}{29691}Or ''you're a buns-hole.''
{29694}{29743}- Step two.|- lnstead of ''shit,'' say ''poo.''
{29746}{29779}- As in ''bull-poo.''|- ''Poo-head.''
{29782}{29820}And ''this poo is cold.''
{29822}{29871}- Step three.|- With ''bitch,'' drop the ''T.''
{29873}{29942}'Cause bich is Latin|for ''generosity.''
{29944}{29992}- Step four!|-  Don't say ''fuck'' anymore 
{29994}{30061} 'Cause ''fuck'' is the worst word|that you can say 
{30063}{30121} ''Fuck'' is the worst word|that you can say 
{30123}{30166} We shouldn't say ''fuck''|No, we shouldn't say ''fuck'' 
{30168}{30240}-  Fuck no |- You're cured! You can go!
{30242}{30310} You don't have to spend your life|shooting up in the trash 
{30312}{30374} Homeless on the streets|Giving hand Jobs for cash 
{30376}{30471} Follow this plan|and very soon you will say 
{30473}{30525}-  lt's easy, m'kay |-  lt's easy, m'kay 
{30527}{30581}-  lt's easy, m'kay |-  lt's easy, m'kay 
{30583}{30675}-  lt's easy, m'kay |-  lt's easy, m--|lt's easy, m-- 
{30678}{30736} lt's easy, m'kay 
{30738}{30826}- [ All Laughing ]|- [ Mr. Mackey ] M'kay! M'kay!
{30828}{30880}M'kay.
{30882}{30940}Now you're cured.
{30942}{31030}You can take the rest of the afternoon|off for personal reflection. M'kay?
{31032}{31153}Find your own constructive way|to better yourself, m'kay?
{31157}{31251}[ Cackling ] Well, Phillip,|l hope you've learned something...
{31253}{31301}through this whole experience.
{31303}{31383}l did. l learned that you are|a boner-biting, dick-fart-fuck-face.
{31385}{31442}[ Both Cackling ]
{31444}{31520}Want to see|the Northern Lights?
{31522}{31575}[ Poot ]
{31577}{31672}You burnt yourself to death|by lighting your fart! [ Cackling ]
{31675}{31748}l sure did, Phillip!
{31750}{31824} Uncle Fucker 
{31826}{31864}Good night!
{31866}{31924}[ Cheering, Laughing ]
{31926}{31984}That movie rules!
{31986}{32063}Man, that movie gets better|every time l see it.
{32065}{32153}- [ Attendant ] Hey!|- Yeah, but that part about|lighting farts is bullshit.
{32155}{32225}- You can't do that.|- [ Muffled ] Yeah, you can.
{32227}{32299}- No way!|- [ Muffled ] Yes, you can!
{32301}{32385}Okay, Kenny, l'll bet you $100|you can't light a fart on fire.
{32387}{32428}[ Muffled Reply ]
{32505}{32573}- [ Poot ]|- [ Kenny Giggling ]
{32575}{32644}- [ Screaming ]|- Holy shit, dude!
{32646}{32703}Oh, my God!
{32706}{32758}Oh, shit! Oh, shit!
{32761}{32814}Help! Somebody do something!
{32816}{32870}This stick is on fire!
{32939}{32987}[ Gasps ]
{32989}{33047}[ Kenny Screaming, Muffled ]
{33049}{33137}- Oh, my God! You killed Kenny!|- You bastard!
{33139}{33218}l guess you can|light a fart on fire.
{33250}{33318}[ Nurse ]|Over here, Doctor!
{33320}{33407}- Load that l.V. with 70 ccs|of sodium pentothol.|- We Just called the parents.
{33409}{33505}Now our moms are gonna find out|we went to the Terrance|and Phillip movie again.
{33507}{33617}Vacuum! Try to untangle|his trachea and esophagus!
{33619}{33682}- Dude!|- No, that doesn't go there!
{33685}{33753}[ Screaming ]
{33756}{33843}- Ohh!|- Gross, Stan!|- That's sick!
{33845}{33898}- [ Nurse ] Watch his liver!|- l'll get it!
{33900}{33979}- [ Continues Screaming ]|- We have precious little time left!
{33981}{34045}- We're gonna lose him soon!|- Doctor, his heart's stopped!
{34047}{34115}Let's get it out of there!|We need to zap this, quick!
{34178}{34236}Who's making a potato?
{34238}{34288}My bad, sir.|l missed lunch.
{34290}{34374}Damn it, l'm not|gonna lose this kid!
{34376}{34506}[ Doctor ] Close him up. We've done|all we can. The rest is up to God.
{34552}{34640}- Kenny? Kenny, can you hear me?|- [ Muffled ] Holy shit, dude.
{34642}{34740}- How are you feeling, son?|- [ Muffled Reply ]
{34743}{34801}Great.|Son, l have some bad news.
{34803}{34921}We accidentally replaced|your heart with a baked potato.|You have three seconds to live.
{34923}{34999}- [ Muffled ] What?|- Fucking weak, dude!
{35001}{35059}Oh, my God.|They killed Kenny!
{35061}{35109}You bastards!
{35111}{35241}Damn it!|lt never gets any easier!
{35243}{35301} [ Whistling ]
{35342}{35415}l bet him he couldn't do it.|l bet him $100.
{35417}{35475}Cartman, it's not your fault.
{35477}{35565}No, l know. l'm Just fuckin' stoked|l don't have to pay him.
{35567}{35654}Oh, that's real nice.|He was your friend, you fat fuck!
{35657}{35746}So, boys,|you saw that movie again?
{35748}{35826}- [ All ] Yes.|- Well, Kyle, l have had it!
{35829}{35901}You are grounded|for the next two weeks!
{35903}{35961}[ Gasps ]|Grounded?
{35963}{36013}And you, Stan.|Come on.
{36015}{36073}And you're grounded|for three weeks, Eric.
{36075}{36153}Why am l grounded more?|That's fuckin' bullshit!
{36192}{36243}What was that word, young man?
{36245}{36358}[ Echoing ]|...word, young man?|...word, young man?
{36668}{36775}[ Male Singer, Ballad ]| Little boy at peace 
{36778}{36903}What is this place?| Beyond the stars 
{36905}{36979} Open up your eyes 
{36981}{37106} What are these things|you're moving toward 
{37108}{37198} Head so full of wonder 
{37200}{37291} Worries in the past 
{37293}{37357} Could it be|that you are free at last 
{37359}{37433}[ Buzzer Sounding ]
{37435}{37491}No! Whoo-hoo!
{37493}{37551}- [ Singer Wailing ]|-  [ Heavy Metal ]
{37644}{37711} Little boy|you're going to Hell 
{37714}{37775} You said bad words|Threw rocks at the birds 
{37778}{37827} And now|this is your hotel 
{37830}{37909} You ain't goin' back|This ain't Disneyland|lt's Hell 
{37911}{37974}- [ Roaring ]|- [ Screaming ]
{37976}{38049} Little boy|it's time for you to pay 
{38051}{38118} For hurtin' that bird|and not goin to church|and starin' at boobs every day 
{38120}{38237} Thought you were in bed|lnstead, you're in Hell 
{38239}{38347}- [ Whimpering ]|-  Hell isn't good|Hell isn't good, Hell 
{38349}{38445} Oh, Hell isn't good|Hell isn't good, Hell 
{38447}{38505}[ Shouting ln German ]
{38507}{38565}Hey, fuck-face,|have you seen Gracie?
{38567}{38669}There is orderliness|in the universe.
{38672}{38738} Hell isn't good|Hell isn't good 
{38741}{38776} Hell 
{38969}{39008}[ Poot ]
{39066}{39163}Parents, our children|are out of control.
{39165}{39283}This is what happens when toilet humor|is allowed to run rampant!
{39285}{39343}That's right.|Kenny set himself on fire...
{39345}{39438}because he saw Terrance and Phillip|do it in that dirty movie!
{39440}{39528}We must stop dirty language|from getting to our children's ears!
{39530}{39604}We must go fight|the source of it!
{39606}{39717}- But what is the source?|- Oh, that's easy.
{39721}{39804} Times have changed|Our kids are getting worse 
{39806}{39850} They won't obey their parents 
{39852}{39897} They Just want|to fart and curse 
{39900}{39944} Should we|blame the government 
{39947}{39991} Or blame society 
{39993}{40070} Or should we blame|the images on TV 
{40072}{40165}- No!| Blame Canada |-  Blame Canada 
{40167}{40206} Before their beady|little eyes 
{40208}{40268} Have packed their heads|so full of lies 
{40270}{40358} Blame Canada|Blame Canada 
{40360}{40406} We need to form|a full assault 
{40408}{40479} lt's Canada's fault 
{40481}{40552} Don't blame me|for my son Stan 
{40554}{40656} He saw the darn cartoon|and now he's off to Join the Klan 
{40659}{40741} And my boy Eric once had|my picture on his shelf 
{40744}{40819} But now when l see him|he tells me to fuck myself 
{40822}{40869}Well?| Blame Canada 
{40872}{40920} Blame Canada 
{40922}{41005} lt seems that everything's gone wrong|since Canada came along 
{41007}{41060} Blame Canada 
{41062}{41112} Blame Canada 
{41114}{41211} They're not even|a real country anyway 
{41213}{41310} My son could've been a doctor|or a lawyer rich and true 
{41312}{41405} lnstead he burned up|like a piggy on a barbecue 
{41407}{41490}-  Should we blame the matches |-  Should we blame the fire 
{41492}{41557} Or the doctors who|allowed him to expire 
{41559}{41624}Heck, no!| Blame Canada 
{41627}{41675} Blame Canada 
{41678}{41722} With all their hockey|hullabaloo 
{41724}{41774} And that bitch|Anne Murray too 
{41777}{41864} Blame Canada|Shame on Canada 
{41866}{41946} For the smut we must stop|The trash we must smash 
{41948}{41986} The laughter and fun|must all be undone 
{41988}{42033} We must blame them|and cause a fuss 
{42035}{42234} Before somebody|thinks of blaming us 
{42300}{42403}All right, you turds,|listen up!
{42405}{42511}Your moms are away at a meeting.|They put me in charge of you.
{42513}{42601}But you're still grounded,|so you're not allowed to have any fun.
{42603}{42692}- Any questions?|- Shelley, where's the clitoris?
{42764}{42852}Now you all Just sit there|and keep your mouths shut...
{42854}{42958}while l go listen to|my Britney Spears records.
{42961}{43039}- [ Door Closes ]|- Okay, it's clear.
{43041}{43099}[ Audience Applauding ]
{43101}{43189}Our next guests have the number one|movie in the world right now.
{43191}{43268}Please welcome|Terrance and Phillip.
{43270}{43359}- Yea!|- [ Studio Audience Booing ]
{43361}{43419}- Hello, Conan.|- Hello, Brooke Shields.
{43421}{43551}Guys, some people claim|that your Canadian humor|is nothing but immature fart Jokes.
{43553}{43649}That's not true. Take this classic|Canadian Joke, for instance.
{43652}{43728}- [ Clears Throat ]|Excuse me, Terrance.|- Yes, Phillip?
{43731}{43793}[ Poot ]
{43796}{43847}- [ Cackling ]|- Gosh-darn it!
{43887}{43949}- Good one, Phillip. Cheers!|- Cheers, fuck-face.
{43951}{44008}Guys, you can't|say that on TV.
{44010}{44068}Now Terrance smells|like my ass!
{44070}{44173}l farted once on the set|of Blue Lagoon!
{44292}{44380}So, guys, does it make you|nervous to be in America?
{44382}{44474}A lot of organizations here want you|arrested for destroying children.
{44476}{44563}- They'd have to find us first.|- You're right. Now!
{44565}{44615}[ Soldiers Shouting ]
{44617}{44676}Terrance and Phillip...
{44678}{44760}Mothers Against Canada is placing you|under citizen's arrest!
{44763}{44816}- Mom?|- Dude, what the hell's going on?
{44818}{44880}We have a court order|for your arrest!
{44883}{44981}- Phillip, we've been ambushed!|- Here you go, Conan.
{44983}{45049}This little scrotum-sucker|deceived us.
{45051}{45119}- You are a bad man!|- Don't listen to them, Conan.
{45121}{45199}You loved our movie, Conan.|We watched it together.
{45201}{45259}Remember?|You laughed!
{45261}{45324}What have l done?
{45326}{45381}[ Screaming ]
{45443}{45501}[ Car Alarm Wailing ]
{45503}{45550}- [ Click ]|- [ Alarm Stops ]
{45552}{45654}Holy crap! Did you see that?|They arrested Terrance and Phillip!
{45813}{45864}As the Canadian ambassador...
{45866}{45954}l condemn the actions taken by America|in apprehending Terrance and Phillip.
{45956}{46009}- [ Muttering, Shouting ]|- As you can see...
{46011}{46085}the entire economy of Canada|relies on Terrance and Phillip.
{46087}{46172}- Without them,|we are doomed to recession.|- [ Gavel Bangs ]
{46174}{46239}What say you,|Mr. American Ambassador?
{46241}{46326}[ Ambassadors Quiet ]
{46328}{46401}- Fuck Canada!|- Hey, fuck you, buddy!
{46403}{46461}Terrance and Phillip|will not be released.
{46463}{46544}They are going to be put on trial|for corrupting America's youth.
{46546}{46604}We don't know what|all the fuss is about.
{46606}{46665}The fuss is ''aboot''|taking our citizens!
{46667}{46735}lt's ''aboot'' not censoring our art.|lt's ''aboot''--
{46738}{46815}lt's ''aboot''--|What's so goddamn funny?
{46818}{46868}N-Nothing. Nothing.
{46870}{46958}Could you tell us again|what your argument is all about?
{46960}{47043}This is not ''aboot'' diplomacy;|this is ''aboot'' dignity.
{47045}{47125}This is ''aboot'' respect. This is|''aboot'' realizing that humor is--
{47127}{47185}- [ Laughing Continues ]|- You guys are dicks!
{47187}{47281}Release Terrance and Phillip, or we'll|give you something to cry ''aboot''!
{47340}{47403}Stop! Stop!
{47673}{47761}Pilot to bombardier!|Pilot to bombardier!|Were nearing the target!
{47763}{47810}Bombs ready, buddy!
{47813}{47857}- [ Phone Rings ]|- Baldwin residence.
{47860}{47922}No, this is Billy Baldwin!
{47924}{48018}lf you want Daniel Baldwin|call his extension, stupid!
{48020}{48138}- Alec, do you know what sucks|about being a Baldwin?|- No. What?
{48140}{48207}- Nothing!|- Yeah! [ Laughing ]
{48370}{48438}Ha-ha!|You missed me!
{48479}{48548}[ School Bell Rings ]
{48550}{48692}Children, your mothers|are all making me throw away|my lesson plan and teach theirs.
{48695}{48765}How come our moms arrested|Terrance and Phillip?
{48767}{48807}- [ All ] Yeah!|- That's gay.
{48809}{48867}Well, your moms|are Just upset.
{48869}{48957}- They're probably all|on their periods or something.|- Not cool.
{48959}{49053}Mr. Garrison, Wendy and l think|that was a sexist statement.
{49055}{49175}l'm sorry, Wendy, but l Just|don't trust anything that bleeds|for five days and doesn't die.
{49177}{49289}Anyway, children, let's start off|with some vocabulary.
{49291}{49362}- [ Mr. Mackey ] Attention, students!|- Oh, what now?
{49364}{49505}Come to the gymnasium immediately|for a special announcement. M'kay?
{49507}{49575}[ All Chattering ]
{49577}{49653}- What's goin' on, Chef?|- Something big, children.
{49656}{49724}Chef, l can't find the clitoris.|You have to help me.
{49727}{49851}- Stan, the clitoris is--|- Take your seats, everyone.|They're about to announce it.
{49853}{49940}- M'kay?|- This is a state of emergency.
{49942}{50054}We go now to the White House|for an announcement from the|President of the United States.
{50056}{50114}My fellow Americans...
{50116}{50257}at 5:00 a.m. today,|a day which will live in infamy...
{50259}{50357}the Canadians|have bombed the Baldwins.
{50359}{50415}ln response to this...
{50417}{50516}the U.S. has declared war|on Canada.
{50518}{50561}[ All Gasp ]
{50563}{50621}- Oh, no!|- War?
{50623}{50715}- No, Gregory, no!|- This is bad, Wendy. Hold on to me.
{50718}{50772}All the Baldwins are dead?
{50774}{50862}Now it is time for us|to send a message to Canadians.
{50864}{50966}ln two days' time, the war criminals|Terrance and Phillip...
{50968}{51026}will be executed.
{51028}{51086}They're gonna kill them?
{51088}{51206}And now l'd like to bring out my newly|appointed secretary of offense...
{51208}{51270}Ms. Sheila Broflovski.
{51272}{51351}- Holy shit, dude!|- My fellow Americans...
{51353}{51471}our neighbor to the north|has abused us for the last time.
{51473}{51531}l have a plan|as commander-in-chief--
{51533}{51641}Canadians want to fight us because we|won't tolerate their potty mouths.
{51644}{51709}Well, if it is war they want...
{51712}{51785}then war they shall have!
{51850}{51908}Dude, this is fucking weak.
{51910}{51982}How could things|be any worse?
{52203}{52292}[ Whimpering ]
{52294}{52403}Fallen one, l am Satan.
{52405}{52485}l am your god now.
{52487}{52565}[ Shrieking ]
{52567}{52626}There is no escape!
{52629}{52725}[ Whimpering ]
{52728}{52816}Now feel|the delightful pain.
{52818}{52913}Hey, Satan!|Did you hear the news?
{52915}{52996}A war Just broke out|up on Earth.
{52998}{53103}Meet Saddam Hussein,|my new partner in evil!
{53105}{53173}- Huh?|- Move over, Satan.|You're hoggin' all the fun.
{53175}{53287}- [ Metal Clanking ]|- Yeah! Yeah!|Man, this is gettin' me so hot!
{53289}{53374}- [ Continues Whimpering ]|- Saddam, would you let me|do my Job, please?
{53376}{53523}- Come on, rub my nipples while|l torture this little piggy.|- Could l talk to you a second?
{53589}{53694}l don't see why you have to belittle me|in front of people like that.
{53697}{53742}Hey, relax, guy!
{53745}{53827}Well, sometimes l think you|don't have any respect for me.
{53829}{53889}Hey, come here, guy.
{53923}{54007}- Who's my cream puff?|- l am.
{54009}{54083}- That's right, baby.|- Huh?
{54172}{54230}Dude, l don't wanna be at war.
{54232}{54308}You don't think they're really gonna|kill Terrance and Phillip, do you?
{54310}{54368}Kyle, you need to stand up|to your mother.
{54370}{54462}Smack her in the face and say,|''That's enough of your shit,|you fuckin' bitch!''
{54464}{54522}Don't call my mom a bitch,|Cartman!
{54524}{54612}You guys, stop it. This isn't helping.|We've got to think here.
{54614}{54679}Let's see.|What would Brian Boitano do?
{54682}{54755}Yeah, what would|Brian Boitano do?
{54845}{54965}- Hey, what's goin' on?|- America thinks it has|the right to police the world.
{54967}{55083}Your government is going to kill|two Canadian citizens,|an action condemned by the U.N.
{55085}{55143}Home of the free, indeed.
{55180}{55243}- Let's play tetherball.|- [ All ] Yeah!
{55245}{55333}This is about freedom of speech,|about censorship!
{55335}{55393}Can't you guys be more political|like Gregory?
{55395}{55473}[ Voice-over ]| There's the girl that l like 
{55475}{55573} Now it appears that|she likes another guy 
{55575}{55696} lt must be because|he's political and stuff 
{55746}{55830} l bet|l could be political too 
{55832}{55897}What do you think, Sta--
{55899}{55962}- Oh, God! [ Wailing ]|- Damn it!
{55964}{56056}- You guys, this is|all Kyle's mom's fault.|- Shut up, Cartman!
{56058}{56185}Kyle's mom started that|damn club, and all because|she's a big, fat, stupid b--
{56187}{56245}Don't say it, Cartman.
{56247}{56281} Well-- 
{56283}{56343}Don't do it, Cartman!
{56345}{56383} Well-- 
{56385}{56440}- l'm warning you!|- Okay, okay.
{56442}{56501}l'm gettin' pretty sick|of him calling my mom--
{56503}{56567} Well... Kyle's mom's a bitch|She's a big, fat bitch 
{56569}{56614} She's the biggest bitch|in the whole wide world 
{56616}{56661} She's a stupid bitch|if there ever was a bitch 
{56664}{56721} She's a bitch|to all the boys and girls 
{56723}{56802}Shut your fucking mouth,|Cartman!
{56805}{56849} On Monday she's a bitch|On Tuesday she's a bitch 
{56852}{56891} On Wednesdays and Saturdays|she's a bitch 
{56893}{56951} Then on Sunday|Just to be different 
{56953}{57018} She's a super|King Kamehameha ''bee-utch'' 
{57020}{57079}Come on!|You all know the words!
{57081}{57120} Have you ever met|my friend Kyle's mom 
{57122}{57164} She's the biggest bitch|in the whole wide world 
{57166}{57202} She's a mean old bitch|and she has stupid hair 
{57204}{57265} She's a big, big, big, big|Big, big bitch 
{57267}{57338} Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch|Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch|She's a stupid bitch 
{57340}{57383}- Whoo!|-  Kyle's mom's a bitch 
{57385}{57466}-  And she's such a dirty bitch |- Bitch!
{57468}{57537}Talk to kids around the world,|it might go a little bit|something like this:
{57539}{57625} [ Mock Chinese ]
{57627}{57714} [ Mock French ]
{57716}{57808} [ Mock Dutch, Yodeling ]
{57811}{57885} [ Mock African Language ]
{57887}{57926} Have you ever met|my friend Kyle's mom 
{57928}{57966} She's the biggest bitch|in the whole wide world 
{57968}{58039} She's a mean old bitch|and she has stupid hair 
{58041}{58103}-  She's a bitch, bitch, bitch|bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch |- [ All Gasp ]
{58105}{58138} Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch|Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch 
{58140}{58191}-  She's a stupid bitch |- Uh, Cartman--
{58193}{58259} Kyle's mom's a bitch|and she's such a dirty bitch 
{58261}{58298} l really mean it 
{58300}{58366} Kyle's mom 
{58368}{58421} She's a big, fat 
{58423}{58515} Fuckin' bitch 
{58517}{58590} Big old fat fuckin' bitch|Kyle's mom 
{58592}{58676}Yeah! Shh-kah!
{58776}{58834}What?
{58871}{58930}Oh, fuck.
{58934}{59006}[ Sheila ]|Okay, everyone, settle down!
{59008}{59085}As we continue|to send troops into Canada...
{59087}{59189}M.A.C. is also fighting the war|against potty mouths here at home.
{59191}{59291}Here to present the V-chip|is Dr. Vosknocker.
{59293}{59358}- [ Clears Throat ]|- [ Audience Murmuring ]
{59405}{59473}The machinery of the V-chip|is very simple.
{59476}{59596}lt is placed under|the child's skin where it emits|a small shock of electricity...
{59599}{59661}whenever an obscenity|is uttered.
{59664}{59766}Now, uh, wait a minute. This chip|somehow knows if the child is swearing?
{59768}{59888}lt's Just like a lie detector.|Things happen to you when you|swear Just like when you lie.
{59890}{59997}The chip picks up on this|and gives the subJect a little prick.
{59999}{60092}Patient B-5, would you|step out here, please.
{60094}{60198}Patient B-5 here has been fitted|with the new V-chip.
{60200}{60259}- Ow, my head hurts.|- Don't worry about that.
{60261}{60347}Now, l want you|to say ''doggy.''
{60349}{60448}- ''Doggy.''|- Notice that nothing happens.
{60451}{60509}Now say ''Montana.''
{60511}{60569}- Montana.|- Good!
{60571}{60654}- Now ''pillow.''|- Pillow.
{60656}{60754}All right, now l want you|to say ''horse fucker.''
{60785}{60840}Go ahead, Eric.|lt's all right.
{60842}{60928}- Horsefu-- Aaah! Yiii!|- [ All Gasping ]
{60930}{61015}That hurt, godda-- Aiii!|Oww! Fuck-- Aaah!
{61017}{61107}Now l'd like you to say|''big floppy donkey dick.''
{61109}{61164}No!|Success!
{61166}{61222}The child doesn't|want to swear!
{61224}{61284}This isn't fair,|you sons of bitches-- Yaaaah!
{61286}{61420}- We will start putting V-chips|in all our children next week.|- [ Zapping, Screaming ]
{61423}{61472}[ Cheering ]
{61482}{61532}[ Announcer ]|Snacky Smores presents:
{61603}{61675}Let's hear it|for our boys in blue.
{61677}{61760}President Clinton has|called them to action to fight|the evil Canadian scourge.
{61762}{61836}A full-scale attack|has been launched on Toronto...
{61838}{61896}after the Canadians'|last bombing...
{61898}{61973}which took a horrible toll|on the Arquette family.
{61975}{62033}For security measures,|our great American government...
{62035}{62153}is rounding up all citizens|that have any Canadian blood|and putting them into camps.
{62155}{62256}All Canadian-American citizens|are to report to one of these|death camps right away.
{62258}{62316}Did l say ''death camps''?
{62318}{62399}l meant happy camps, where you|will eat the finest meals...
{62402}{62474}have access to fabulous doctors|and be able to exercise regularly.
{62476}{62595}Meanwhile, the war criminals|Terrance and Phillip|are prepped for their execution.
{62598}{62647}Their execution|will take place...
{62649}{62704}during a fabulous U.S.O. show...
{62706}{62760}with special guest celebrities|including:
{62829}{62952}Of course, the only way to see the|U.S.O. show is to sign up for the Army.
{62954}{63072}So Join the Army and kill|some Canadian scum as we continue:
{63283}{63345}We must rid ourselves|of anything Canadian!
{63347}{63410}- [ Man ] Down with Canada!|- [ Woman ] Bomb them!
{63413}{63506}Dude, don't you like|Terrance and Phillip anymore?
{63509}{63623}Of course not. My mommy says|l hate Canadians now 'cause they|made me have a dirty mouth.
{63625}{63690}Burn it all!
{63692}{63753}- Hey, dudes.|- What's the matter, Cartman?
{63755}{63866}- lt's this V-chip. l hate it.|l can't say any dirty words.|- Really?
{63868}{63926}- So you can't say ''fuck''?|- No.
{63928}{63986}- And you can't say ''shit''?|- Nope.
{63988}{64075}So you can't say, ''l'm Cartman,|the fattest fucking piece of shit|in the world?''
{64077}{64140}- Fuck you-- Aaaaah!|- Dude! Sweet!
{64142}{64230}This has gone far enough.|lt's time we talked to our moms.
{64232}{64290}We're supposed|to be grounded.
{64292}{64362}Come on, Kyle.|lt's time for us to get political.
{64364}{64458}Canada will no longer|corrupt our children!
{64461}{64519}Mom, can l talk to you?
{64521}{64595}Kyle, what are you doing here?|You are grounded!
{64598}{64677}Now get back to the house|and stay there!
{64679}{64756}- You too, Stanley.|- Mom, we think you're going too far.
{64758}{64814}You can't kill|Terrance and Phillip.
{64816}{64874}We must fight for|our children's futures!
{64876}{64949}You're starting a war.|You have to stop it.
{64951}{65009}- To make them safe again!|- Hello?
{65011}{65077}- Our children are precious!|- Hello!
{65079}{65159}We must make a stand now!
{65161}{65221}Stop at nothing!
{65225}{65281}l told you my mom|wouldn't listen.
{65283}{65371}- Then we're gonna have to save|Terrance and Phillip ourselves.|- What? What?
{65373}{65432}What would Brian Boitano do?
{65434}{65522}He'd figure out a way to|rescue Terrance and Phillip|before they're executed.
{65524}{65595}We can't do anything.|Our moms' organization is too strong.
{65597}{65695}Then we'll round up all|the grounded kids in town|and start our own organization...
{65697}{65755}to help save|Terrance and Phillip.
{65757}{65823}Hey, yeah!|Our own secret club!
{65825}{65904}- l guess that could work.|- We have to try.
{65906}{65949} What would Brian Boitano do 
{65951}{65998} lf he was here right now 
{66000}{66055} He'd make a plan|and he'd follow through 
{66057}{66105} That's what|Brian Boitano'd do 
{66107}{66155} When Brian Boitano|was in the Olympics 
{66157}{66204} Skating for the gold 
{66206}{66252} He did two salchows|and a triple lutz 
{66254}{66309} While wearing a blindfold 
{66311}{66360} When Brian Boitano|was in the Alps 
{66362}{66404} Fighting grizzly bears 
{66407}{66454} He used his magical|fire breath 
{66457}{66513} And saved|the maidens fair 
{66515}{66562} So what would|Brian Boitano do 
{66565}{66608} lf he were here today 
{66610}{66667} l'm sure he'd kick|an ass or two 
{66669}{66721} That's what|Brian Boitano'd do 
{66723}{66819} l want this V-chip|out of me 
{66821}{66911} lt has stunted|my vocabulary 
{66913}{67021} And l Just want my mom|to stop fighting everyone 
{67023}{67072} For Wendy|l'll be an activist too 
{67074}{67119} 'Cause that what|Brian Boitano would do 
{67121}{67169} And what would|Brian Boitano do 
{67171}{67222} He'd call|all the kids in town 
{67224}{67278} And tell them|to unite for truth 
{67280}{67331} That's what|Brian Boitano'd do 
{67333}{67415}- Did someone say my name?|- Who are you?
{67418}{67476}- l'm Brian Dennehy.|- What?
{67478}{67529}No, not fuckin'|Brian Dennehy!
{67532}{67580}Get the fuck outta here.
{67583}{67636}Oh. Bye.
{67638}{67731} When Brian Boitano traveled|through time to the year 3010 
{67733}{67794} He fought|the evil robot king 
{67796}{67852} And saved|the human race again 
{67854}{67934} And when Brian Boitano|built the pyramids|he beat up Kublai Khan 
{67936}{68007} 'Cause Brian Boitano|doesn't take shit 
{68009}{68080} From anybody 
{68082}{68155} So let's call|all the kids together 
{68157}{68202} And unite to stop our moms 
{68204}{68252} And we'll save|Terrance and Phillip too 
{68254}{68322} 'Cause that's what|Brian Boitano'd do 
{68324}{68358} And we'll save|Terrance and Phillip too 
{68360}{68457} 'Cause that's what|Brian Boitano'd do 
{68460}{68534} 'Cause that's what|Brian Boitano'd do 
{68661}{68732}[ Saddam ]|Hey, relax, guy!
{68734}{68787}- [ Satan ] Oh, there's nothing on.|- [ TV, lndistinct ]
{68789}{68891}- You Just get cranky|when you're tired, that's all.|- l'm not cranky!
{68893}{69010}What started as a spat between|the U.S. and Canada is quickly|turning into World War Three.
{69012}{69077}- [ Excitedly ] World War Three?|- Shh!
{69079}{69178}Terrance and Phillip are going to be put|to death for crimes against humanity.
{69180}{69238}- The time of execution has--|- [ Clicks TV Off ]
{69240}{69328}lt has come to be.|The Four Horsemen are drawing nigh.
{69330}{69416}The time of prophecy|is upon us!
{69419}{69525}l love when you get all biblical, Satan.|You know exactly how to turn my crank!
{69528}{69586}No, l'm being serious.
{69588}{69650}- lt is the seventh sign.|- What?
{69653}{69772}Behold, the first signs of my reign|have all come true.
{69774}{69858}The fall of an empire,|the coming of a comet...
{69860}{69981}and now, when the blood of these|Canadians touches American soil...
{69983}{70088}it will be our time to rise!
{70090}{70148}- [ Gasps ]|- Yeah! Yeah!
{70150}{70208}Man, l'm gettin' so hot!|Let's fuck!
{70210}{70323}Do you always think about sex?|l'm talking about|very important stuff here!
{70325}{70427}l'm Just excited about|taking over the world! Come on!
{70430}{70518}ls sex the only thing|that matters to you?
{70520}{70575}l love you.
{70577}{70635}l want to believe that.
{70637}{70720}So what do you say you shut off|that light and get close, huh?
{70760}{70818}[ Rustling ]
{70820}{70878}- [ Squishy Plunging Sound ]|- [ Satan Groans ] Ohh. Oww.
{70880}{70944}[ Saddam ] Yeah, you like that,|don't you, bitch?
{71024}{71119}Okay, we can use my dad's computer|to call all the kids together.
{71121}{71199}Before we put a message out,|do a search on ''clitoris.''
{71201}{71272}Oh, okay.
{71274}{71375}- ''Found: Eight million pages|with the word 'clitoris.'''|- Wow!
{71377}{71471}l'll Just try the first one.|''You must be 18 to enter this web site.''
{71474}{71562}Okay. ''Welcome to|German Sick Fetish Video.
{71564}{71622}lf you are under 18, do not--''
{71624}{71682}- Well, okay.|- [ Click ]
{71684}{71760}-  [ Techno ]|- [ Man ] Du hast Scheisse gern.
{71762}{71850}- Dude, it's a lady getting pooed on!|- Whoa! ls it Cartman's mom?
{71852}{71933}- Oh, very funny.|- Hey, it is Cartman's mom!
{71935}{72003}- Essen mein Scheisse!|- [ Cartman's Mom ]|All righty, then.
{72005}{72063}- Aw, son of a bit-- Aaaaah!|- [ Zapping ]
{72065}{72143}- Ba-ba-ba-bah!|- Get out of here, lke!|You're too young for this.
{72145}{72177}- [ Gurgling ] Bullshit.|- What's he doing now?
{72177}{72205}- [ Gurgling ] Bullshit.|- What's he doing now?
{72207}{72268}- [ Man ] Essen mein Scheisse!|- Okey-dokey!
{72270}{72322}[ Farting ]
{72324}{72382}- [ All Screaming ]|- [ German Continues ]
{72384}{72443}Click it off, dude!
{72445}{72518}What the fuck is wrong|with German people?
{72520}{72623}All right, let's Just do|what we came here to do and|put a message out to kids.
{72625}{72717}l've gotta put out an all-access e-mail.|Goddamn, your mom sucks.
{72719}{72782}- just get to the message board.|- l'm trying.
{72784}{72862}l can't find a Canadian server.|l've got to break into the mainframe.
{72864}{72967}Damn it, they've got an access code.|l'll try to reroute the encryptions.
{73077}{73161}Okay, here we go. ''Want to|help Terrance and Phillip?''
{73163}{73221}[ Kyle Reading ]
{73292}{73365}- Tell 'em we'll have punch and pie.|- We're not!
{73367}{73470}More people will come|if they think we have punch and pie!
{73532}{73639}''This is top secret.|The password is...''
{73642}{73710}La Resistance.
{73712}{73781}[ Radio Announcer ] And so the draft|will begin tomorrow...
{73783}{73869}as more and more troops are needed|to invade the Canadian border.
{73871}{73931}The Canadian government|pleads for a peaceful resolution...
{73933}{74000}but naturally,|we're not listening.
{74002}{74050}Good night, hon.
{74052}{74125}Mom, when is the war|gonna be over?
{74127}{74195}l don't know, hon.|Soon, we hope.
{74197}{74270}You want it|to end quickly, huh?
{74322}{74382}- Mom?|- Yes, hon?
{74384}{74503}lf you were in a German Scheisse video,|you'd tell me, right?
{74536}{74578}Sure, hon.|Good night!
{74681}{74764}[ Whooshing ]
{74766}{74829}[ Gasps ]
{74831}{74889}Aaaaaaah!
{74891}{74966}- Poltergeist!|- [ Muffled ]
{74968}{75092}- Kenny, is that you?|- [ Panicked, Muffled Chatter ]
{75094}{75178}- Satan? Satan is coming here?|- [ Continues Chattering ]
{75180}{75251}Saddam Hussein?|That doesn't make sense, Kenny!
{75253}{75324}- [ Angry, Muffled Reply ]|- Aaaaaaaah!
{75326}{75388}Eric!|Eric, what is it?
{75390}{75482}- l saw him! l saw Kenny!|- Oh, you poor dear.
{75485}{75538}You've been through so much.
{75541}{75627}l bet him he couldn't light a fart|on fire, and now he's all pissed off--
{75629}{75689}Aaaah! l can't say ''pissed off''?|Aaaah!
{75750}{75822}The execution of Terrance and Phillip|is imminent.
{75824}{75901}Soon Saddam and l|will rule the world.
{75903}{75961}[ Sinister Laughter ]
{75963}{76054}Hey, Satan! l got some new luggage|for our trip up to Earth!
{76056}{76124}Let's fuck to celebrate!
{76126}{76214}What's it like up on Earth, Saddam?|Tell me about it again.
{76216}{76274}Let's not talk.|Let's get busy!
{76276}{76404}When you first got here we used to talk|all night long until the sun came up.
{76407}{76480}We would Just lie in bed|and talk.
{76482}{76570}Well, yeah, 'cause l was still waitin'|to get you in bed, dummy!
{76572}{76660}How come you always|want to make love to me from behind?
{76662}{76729}ls it because you want to pretend|l'm somebody else?
{76731}{76789}Satan. Your ass|is gigantic and red.
{76791}{76876}Who am l gonna pretend you are?|Liza Minnelli?
{76921}{77009}Aww, don't get all pissy!
{77061}{77119}[ Sighs ]
{77235}{77321} Sometimes l think 
{77323}{77403} When l look up real high 
{77406}{77505} That there's such|a big world up there 
{77508}{77608} l'd like to give it a try 
{77610}{77679} But then l sink 
{77681}{77767} 'Cause it's here|l'm supposed to stay 
{77769}{77854} But l get|so lonely down here 
{77856}{78001} Tell me, why does it|have to be that way 
{78003}{78086} Up there|there is so much room 
{78088}{78173} Where babies burp|and flowers bloom 
{78175}{78267} Everyone dreams|l could dream too 
{78269}{78315} Up there 
{78317}{78423} Up where the skies|are ocean blue 
{78426}{78540} l could be safe|and live without a care 
{78542}{78643} Up there 
{78645}{78727}-  They say l don't belong |- [ Backup Singers ]| Oooh-ooh, oooh-ooh 
{78729}{78808}-  l must stay below alone |-  Oooh-ooh 
{78810}{78879} Because of my beliefs 
{78881}{78993} l'm supposed to stay|where evil is sown 
{78995}{79088}-  Oooh ooh-ooh-oooh |-  But what is evil anyway 
{79090}{79197}-  ls there reason to the rhyme |-  Oooh-ooh, oooh-ooh 
{79199}{79242} Without evil|there could be no good 
{79244}{79401} So it must be good|to be evil sometimes 
{79404}{79495} Up there|there is so much room 
{79498}{79605} Where babies burp|and flowers bloom 
{79608}{79657} Everyone dreams|l can dream too 
{79659}{79708} Up there 
{79710}{79834} Up where the skies|are ocean blue 
{79836}{79967}-  l could be safe|and live without a care |-  Without a care 
{79969}{80056}-  Live without a care |-  lf l could 
{80058}{80103} lf only l could live 
{80105}{80187}[ Falsetto ]| Up there 
{80189}{80276} l wanna live|l wanna live up 
{80278}{80425} Oooooh, yeah|Oooooh 
{80428}{80469} l want to live 
{80472}{80605} Up there 
{80608}{80674}Ohhh!
{80889}{80989}- You're late, Cartman!|- l had to ride my bike here.|My behind is killing me.
{80991}{81073}- Your ''behind''?|- l had to say ''behind'' because|l'll get shocked if l say ass--
{81075}{81145}- Aaaaah!|- Did you bring the punch and pie?
{81147}{81205}No. You guys,|something happened.
{81207}{81264}l don't think Kenny's dead.
{81266}{81324}- What?|- l saw him in my room.
{81326}{81397}l know, Cartman.|l see Kenny every day.
{81399}{81483}- You do?|- Sure, dude.|On the face of every child.
{81486}{81544}On the smile|of every baby.
{81546}{81604}l'm telling you|this was Kenny!
{81606}{81679}He said that if|Terrance and Phillip die...
{81681}{81754}Saddam Hussein and Satan are gonna|come up and rule the world.
{81756}{81803}Saddam Hussein?
{81805}{81860}- [ Knocking On Door ]|- [ Gasps ]
{81935}{82029}- Who is it?|- [ Gregory Whispering ]|l'm here for La Resistance.
{82031}{82104}- What's the password?|- Uh, l don't know.
{82106}{82178}- Guess.|- Uh, bacon.
{82180}{82228}Okay.
{82275}{82363}Viva La Resistance.
{82365}{82454}- Oh, no! lt's that kid!|- This is the place.
{82456}{82539}- Wendy?|- Stan? You started La Resistance?
{82576}{82653}You're more political|than we thought.
{82656}{82735}Let us get this meeting underway.|There are others coming.
{82737}{82805}[ Chattering ]
{82807}{82899}Wow. A lot of people showed up.
{82901}{83019}Okay, uh, Terrance and Phillip|are supposed to be killed...
{83021}{83087}and we thinks|that sucks ass!
{83149}{83249}- Yes?|- Uh, we were to understand|there'd be pie and punch.
{83251}{83314}- There isn't any.|- Oh.
{83406}{83484}Uh, Terrance and Phillip|are supposed to be killed...
{83487}{83560}so we think we should prank-call|a bunch of policemen...
{83562}{83635}and have pizzas sent to them|that they didn't order.
{83637}{83695}Viva La Resistance!
{83697}{83776}- Oh-- [ Sighs ]|- Uh--
{83778}{83823}- May l?|- What?
{83825}{83883}Terrance and Phillip|are being held...
{83885}{83948}at a Canadian internment camp|two kilometers outside of town.
{83950}{84037}They are to be executed tomorrow|during a star-studded|U.S.O. show for the troops.
{84039}{84101}- Tomorrow?|- Once the show begins...
{84103}{84202}we have one hour to get Terrance|and Phillip out of their cell|and into this clearing.
{84204}{84303}There we will all rendezvous|and take Terrance and Phillip|safely back to Canada.
{84305}{84370}Wow, dude,|Wendy's new guy is smart.
{84372}{84430}Meet me at the rendezvous point|at precisely 10:00 p.m.
{84433}{84515}Sneaking in and breaking out|Terrance and Philip will be|the most dangerous part...
{84518}{84566}so l'll go myself.
{84595}{84676}- No. We're going.|- [ Gasp ]
{84678}{84769}We'll get Terrance and Phillip|and meet you at the rendezvous point.
{84771}{84829}This will be very dangerous.
{84831}{84892}- Are you quite sure?|- Fuck that-- Aaaah!
{84894}{84982}Cartman, do you want that V-chip|in you forever? We're going!
{84984}{85042}Now let's run through|the plan.
{85170}{85248}Now, uh,|when you shoot somebody...
{85250}{85323}go for someone wide open.
{85325}{85398}Oh, boy!|Military action, Ned!
{85400}{85477}Let's kill us|some goddamn Australians!
{85480}{85553}[ Voice Box ] l think|we're fighting Canadians.
{85555}{85614}Canadians, Australians.|What's the difference?
{85616}{85753}This uniform makes me feel like|a tough, brute man, Mr. Hat.
{85755}{85813}lt sure does,|Mr. Garrison.
{85815}{85980}l can't wait for our first|shore leave so l can get me|some fuckin' poontang.
{85982}{86110}Pay attention! Tomorrow night|is the U.S.O. show for all you troops.
{86112}{86217}There will be celebrities, followed by|the execution of Terrance and Phillip.
{86219}{86269}- Yeah!|- Whoo!
{86271}{86397}After the show, we will finally be|sending ground troops into Canada...
{86399}{86441}so let's strategize.
{86445}{86479}Map!
{86481}{86539}Our sources have told us...
{86541}{86657}that the Canadians are preparing for|our invasion, so we must use caution.
{86659}{86727}Each battalion has|a specific code name and mission.
{86729}{86787}Battalion Five,|raise your hands.
{86789}{86877}You will be the all-important|first attack wave...
{86879}{86952}which we will call|Operation Human Shield.
{86954}{87090}- Hey, wait a minute!|- Operation Human Shield|will suffer heavy losses.
{87092}{87153}Battalion 14?
{87156}{87237}Right. You are Operation|Get Behind The Darkies.
{87240}{87315}You will follow Battalion Five here|and try not to get killed.
{87318}{87398}Are there any questions, men?
{87400}{87510}- Yes, soldier?|- Have you ever heard of|the Emancipation Proclamation?
{87512}{87589}l don't listen to hip-hop.
{87591}{87703}After that we will march into|the heart of Canada, and we will--
{87705}{87759}[ Echoing ]|Comin' to get ya!
{87761}{87826}What's wrong with this thing?
{87828}{87889}Fuckin' Windows 98!
{87891}{87960}Get Bill Gates in here!
{88039}{88159}You told us Windows 98|would be faster and more efficient,|with better access to the lnternet!
{88162}{88225}lt is faster.|Over five million--
{88268}{88350}All right, men,|get lots of rest...
{88352}{88430}and prepare to go|into Canada!
{88495}{88583}After you have Terrance and Phillip,|make your way to this ridge.
{88585}{88694}We'll be there, but we cannot|wait long. lf you're not there|at 10:00, we will have to leave.
{88696}{88799}- Gotcha.|- You are indeed brave,|but you will need help.
{88801}{88865}Here is the address|of the Mole.
{88867}{88954}- The Mole?|- An expert in covert operations.|A mercenary for hire.
{88956}{89014}Your first task|will be obtaining him.
{89016}{89156}Get lots of sleep. Tomorrow we will|all be risking our lives for freedom.
{89159}{89297}[ Slow Tempo ]| God has smiled upon you this day 
{89300}{89358} The fate of a nation 
{89360}{89447} ln your hands 
{89449}{89527} And blessed be|the children 
{89529}{89610} Who fight|with all our bravery 
{89612}{89760} Till only|the righteous stand 
{89762}{89857} You see the distant flames|They bellow in the night 
{89859}{89965} You fight in all our names|for what we know is right 
{89967}{90070} And when you all get shot|and cannot carry on 
{90072}{90162} Though you die|La Resistance lives on 
{90165}{90261} You may get stabbed in the head|with a dagger or a sword 
{90264}{90362} You may be burned to death|or skinned alive or worse 
{90364}{90456} But when they torture you|you will not feel the need to run 
{90458}{90548} For though you die|La Resistance lives on 
{90550}{90643} Blame Canada|Blame Canada 
{90645}{90679} Because the country's|gone awry 
{90681}{90741} Tomorrow night|these freaks will fry 
{90774}{90820} Tomorrow night 
{90822}{90869} Our lives will change 
{90871}{90912} Tomorrow night 
{90914}{90962} We'll be entertained 
{90964}{91013} An execution 
{91015}{91076} What a sight|Tomorrow night 
{91078}{91112} Up there|there is so much room 
{91114}{91164} Where babies burp|and flowers bloom 
{91167}{91211} Tomorrow night|up there is doomed 
{91213}{91262} And so l will be|going soon 
{91265}{91339} Shut your fucking face|uncle fucker 
{91342}{91432} You're a boner-biting bastard|uncle fucker 
{91435}{91487} Looks like|we may be out of luck 
{91489}{91544} Tomorrow night|we're pretty fucked 
{91546}{91582} Why did our mothers|start this war 
{91584}{91627} What the fuck|are they fighting for 
{91629}{91683} When did this song|become a marathon 
{91685}{91758}-  l want to be |-  When Canada is dead and gone 
{91760}{91808}-  Up there |-  There'll be no more Celine Dion 
{91810}{91870}-  They might cut your dick in half |-  Tomorrow night 
{91872}{91920}-  And serve it to a pig |-  Our lives will change 
{91922}{91967}-  And though it hurts you'll laugh |-  Tomorrow night 
{91969}{92002}-  And dance a dickless Jig |-  We'll be entertained 
{92004}{92036} But that's|the way it goes 
{92038}{92100} ln war|you're shat upon 
{92102}{92184}-  l want to be |-  Though you die|La Resistance lives on 
{92187}{92260} [ All Songs Climaxing|Simultaneously ]
{92262}{92353} Blame Canada|Blame Canada 
{92356}{92419}-  Blame Canada |-  Tomorrow night |-  On 
{92571}{92629}Oh, boy!|l'm so excited!
{92631}{92719}just one more day until we can|take over the world!
{92721}{92824}- l don't know if l can sleep,|if you know what l mean.|- This book is really interesting.
{92826}{92899}lt talks about how people|communicate differently.
{92901}{92989}Like, l communicate by wanting you|to ask me questions...
{92991}{93079}- and you communicate--|- Hey, that is interesting.|Let's fuck!
{93081}{93170}Saddam, l'm trying to have|a nice conversation with you.
{93172}{93230}- Hey, Satan.|- Ohh!
{93232}{93290}Now, that is|Just not appropriate!
{93292}{93365}Aw, come on. l'm Just|fuckin' with you. lt's not real.
{93367}{93425}Oh. Well, that's|still not appropriate.
{93427}{93479}- Hey, Satan--|- Ohh!
{93481}{93584}Ha-ha! lt's not real either!|Come on, guy!
{93586}{93652}[ Sobbing ]
{93654}{93722}- [ Muffled ] What's wrong?|- Oh! [ Sniffles ]
{93724}{93782}[ Halfhearted Cackling ]
{93784}{93860}Soon the world|will belong to me.
{93862}{93929}[ Muffled ]|No, what's wrong, dude?
{93931}{94034}lt's Saddam.|He doesn't nurture my emotions.
{94036}{94144}He Just wants sex|and can't learn to communicate.
{94147}{94206}- [ Muffled Reply ]|- You're right.
{94208}{94261}l should leave him.
{94264}{94352}l'm Just gonna tell him: ''Saddam,|l'm going to Earth to rule alone.''
{94354}{94412}l'm strong,|and l don't need him!
{94414}{94452}[ Muffled ]|Good for you!
{94567}{94634}[ Call ]| Today's the day for the U.S.O. show 
{94636}{94687}[ Response ]| We're so happy we get to go 
{94689}{94761}[ Call ]| l don't know but l been told 
{94763}{94812}[ Response ]| Canadian pussy is mighty cold 
{94814}{94872}lke, you have to stay|in the attic.
{94874}{94941}lf they find you, they'll put you|in a Canadian concentration camp.
{94982}{95055}Don't worry.|We're gonna put an end to this.
{95057}{95161}Then l'll make Mom come home,|and we'll all be a family again.
{95264}{95349}[ Babbling ]|Home.
{95566}{95654} [ Blues ]
{95701}{95759}[ Knocking ]
{95761}{95808}[ French Accent ]|'Allo?
{95810}{95884}Hi. We need to speak|with the Mole.
{95886}{95947}l'm sorry.|The Mole is grounded.
{95949}{96007}He can't come out and play.
{96009}{96046}- What?|- He's a kid?
{96048}{96116}He said very naughty things|about God.
{96118}{96193}Well, can we Just talk to him|for five seconds, please?
{96196}{96275}Well, all right.|Cristoph!
{96331}{96434}Hi. We're gonna rescue Terrance and|Phillip from the U.S.O. show and we--
{96437}{96545}- [ French Accent ] Shh!|Who are you? Who sent you?|- That Gregory kid.
{96547}{96620}You intend to break|into the U.S.O. show...
{96622}{96680}filled with thousands|of soldiers...
{96682}{96740}and break out|Terrance and Phillip?
{96742}{96830}- l thought it was a stupid idea too.|- We're La Resistance.
{96832}{96920}We want to save Terrance and Phillip|and stop the war and stuff.
{96922}{96980}l can't help you.|l'm grounded.
{96982}{97054}So are we. Our parents|think we're home right now.
{97056}{97134}- Why are you grounded?|- Why? Because God|hates me, that's why.
{97137}{97195}He has made my life miserable...
{97197}{97285}so l call him a cock-sucking asshole,|and l get grounded.
{97287}{97345}- So, will you help us?|- Very well.
{97347}{97435}Meet me in the backyard in five minutes.|Viva La Resistance.
{97437}{97525}- We'll show God we're not gonna|fucking take anymore of His--|- [ Mother ] What?
{97527}{97606}- Cristoph, get in here!|- Coming, Mother.
{97610}{97697}l must be strong.|l must be strong.
{97729}{97789}Saddam, l need|to talk to you.
{97791}{97849}Hey, you'd better|get packin', bitch!
{97851}{97924}- We have to go!|We're running out of time!|- [ Sighs ]
{97926}{98004}Saddam, sometimes you can|love a person very much...
{98006}{98072}but still know|they aren't right for you.
{98074}{98178}- What the fuck are you talking about?|- You treat me like shit!
{98180}{98268}l'm leaving you.|l'm going up to Earth to rule alone.
{98270}{98351}[ Gasps ] No!|No, you can't do that!
{98353}{98423}l'm sorry,|but l have to be strong.
{98425}{98508}Satan, please, give me another chance!|l have to go to Earth!
{98510}{98598}-You don't even have any respect for me.|-Ah, sure l do, guy.
{98600}{98665}Please, Just hear me out.
{98757}{98855} Some people say|that l'm a bad guy 
{98857}{98910} They may be right 
{98912}{98983} They may be right 
{98985}{99070} But it's not|as if l don't try 
{99072}{99111} l Just fuck up 
{99113}{99160} Try as l might 
{99163}{99237} But l can change|l can change 
{99240}{99336} l can learn to keep my promises|l swear it 
{99338}{99395} l'll open up my heart|and l will share it 
{99397}{99487} Any minute now|l will be born again 
{99489}{99569} Yes, l can change|l can change 
{99571}{99650}-  l know l've been|a dirty little bastard |-  La-la-la, la-la-la-la 
{99652}{99698} l like to kill|l like to maim 
{99700}{99777} Yes, l'm insane, but it's okay|'cause l can change 
{99813}{99891} lt's not my fault|that l'm so evil 
{99893}{99942} lt's society 
{99944}{99997} Society 
{99999}{100070} You see, my parents|were sometimes abusive 
{100072}{100144} And it made|a prick of me 
{100147}{100220} But l can change|l can change 
{100222}{100286} What if you remain|a sandy little butthole 
{100289}{100334}Hey, Satan!
{100337}{100405} Don't be such a twit|Mother Teresa won't have shit on me 
{100407}{100487} just watch, Just watch me change |Here l go! l'm changing!
{100736}{100779}Hey!
{100815}{100898}Hut! Hut!|Hut! Hut! Hut!
{101140}{101201}Ah.
{101204}{101262}You see?|l've really matured.
{101264}{101337}- Oh, all right.|- All right!
{101339}{101428}- Come on. We have to hurry.|- l love ya.
{101515}{101621}-  [ Fanfare ]|- [ Emcee ] Ladies and gentlemen|of the American army...
{101623}{101724}welcome to the U.S.O. show!
{101726}{101839}Get ready for loads of entertainment|and fabulous celebrities...
{101841}{101937}followed immediately by the nasty|execution of Terrance and Phillip!
{101939}{102017}-  [ Continues ]|- [ Cheering Continues ]
{102049}{102097}This is the U.S.O. show...
{102099}{102197}where those military bitches|intend to kill Terrance and Phillip.
{102200}{102288}- Oh, my God!|- God? He is the biggest|bitch of them all.
{102290}{102388}We have to hurry. We rendezvous|with the other kids at 10:00.
{102430}{102472}You realize|that by doing this...
{102474}{102532}we could be grounded for two,|perhaps even three weeks.
{102534}{102620}- We're willing to take that risk.|- [ Mole ] Then let's go.
{102622}{102697}[ Emcee ] And now,|here are your hosts for the evening...
{102699}{102800}Sheila Broflovski|and Big Gay Al!
{102802}{102853} [ Fanfare ]
{102855}{102915}Al, tonight|is a very special night.
{102917}{103005}- Do you know why?|- Ooh! They're having a sale at Merv's?
{103007}{103057}[ Laughter, Cheering ]
{103059}{103132}No. Because we're going|to abolish Canadian smut.
{103134}{103239}That's right, Sheila!|Bring out the condemned!
{103370}{103465}[ Sheila ]|Today is a great day for democracy!
{103510}{103577}Oh, Phillip, this is worse|than that night l fell asleep...
{103579}{103650}and you put your dick in my mouth|and took a picture.
{103652}{103700}l know, Terrance. l know.
{103702}{103790}Well, Sheila, while you're|getting set up over there...
{103792}{103850}let's bring out|our first act...
{103852}{103914}Yippie, the back-flipping dog!
{103916}{103974}-  [ Circus ]|- [ Yipping ]
{104271}{104360}Be careful|not to touch this wire.
{104362}{104418}- Aaah! Motherfu--|- [ Zapping ]
{104420}{104478}Aaah! Fuck-- Aaah!
{104480}{104568}- [ Muffled Swearing ]|- [ Zapping Continues ]
{104644}{104725}Shit. The U.S.O show has started.|We are running out of time.
{104727}{104787}Do you see|Terrance and Phillip?
{104789}{104830}Yes, but they are|heavily guarded.
{104884}{104970}We have to dig from here|so as not to be seen. Come on, bitches.
{105012}{105100}- Hey, Mole, you know|where the clitoris is?|- The what?
{105102}{105191}l have to find the clitoris so l can|get this Wendy girl to like me again.
{105193}{105280}You need to stop|thinking with your dick!|You have to be on your toes!
{105282}{105370}Because l am not going|to be grounded again!|Not for you, not for anybody!
{105372}{105481}Men, when you're out there|in the battlefield...
{105483}{105561}and you're looking into the beady eyes|of a Canadian...
{105563}{105645}as he charges you with his hockey stick,|or whatever he has...
{105647}{105710}and people are dying|all around you...
{105712}{105791}Just remember|what the M.P.A.A. says:
{105793}{105956}Horrific, deplorable violence|is okay, as long as people|don't say any naughty words!
{105958}{106048}That is what this war|is all about!
{106050}{106112}- [ Cheering ]|- What?
{106194}{106283}- Shit.|- [ Soldiers Chattering ]
{106285}{106353}Move. Move.
{106355}{106415}Okay, we will split up here.
{106418}{106516}- Let's synchronize watches.|- We don't have watches.
{106518}{106592}- You don't have watches?|- Dude, you didn't say anything|about watches.
{106594}{106652}What do you think this is,|TV kiddie hour...
{106654}{106727}where we all sit around and lick|Barney the Dinosaur's pussy?
{106729}{106787}This is real life with consequences|you take to the grave!
{106789}{106866}- Dude, we don't have watches!|- Shit. Did you bring the mirror?
{106868}{106923}- Got it. Check.|- And the rope?
{106925}{106983}- And the ''butt for''?|- What's a ''butt for''?
{106985}{107043}For pooping, silly.
{107079}{107147}Listen carefully.|l will dig under the stage.
{107150}{107212}With that bedrock,|l will need more time.
{107215}{107296}Stan and Kyle,|stall the show any way you can.
{107299}{107373}Keep that show going|until l get the prisoners.
{107375}{107452}- Okay.|- Cartman, over there|is the electrical box.
{107454}{107537}You must shut it off before l return|with Terrance and Phillip...
{107539}{107616}or the alarms will sound|and l will be attacked by guard dogs.
{107618}{107655}- Got it?|- Okay.
{107657}{107735}You must shut off the alarms.|l fucking hate guard dogs.
{107737}{107809}l heard you the first time,|you British piece of shit-- Aaaah!
{107811}{107892}lf anything goes wrong,|make a sound like a dying giraffe.
{107894}{107942}What's a dying giraffe|sound like?
{107944}{108020}[ lmitates Giraffe Bleating ]
{108022}{108094}- 'Kay.|- Let's go.
{108096}{108146}- Be careful, dude.|- ''Careful''?
{108149}{108257}Was my mother careful when|she stabbed me in the heart|with a clothes hanger...
{108260}{108333}while l was still|in the womb?
{108426}{108485}Damn, dude,|that kid is fucked up.
{108487}{108613}- How are those chairs coming, Sheila?|- Al, we're minutes away.
{108615}{108766}Super! ln the meantime,|here's pint-sized pixie and darling|of the indie movie scene...
{108768}{108841}Winona Ryder!
{108843}{108904}- Hi, guys!|- Yea!
{108906}{108965}l'm super-psyched|to be here today.
{108967}{109078}What you're doing|for our country is so cool.
{109080}{109185}l mean, war, man.|Wow. War.
{109188}{109260}You know? Wow.
{109262}{109422}Okay! And now for your enJoyment,|here's my famous Ping-Pong ball trick!
{109516}{109574}[ Popping ]
{109656}{109716}Oh, my!
{109718}{109838}[ lmitating Mole ]|''Shut off the power, Cartman.|This is very important, Cartman.''
{109840}{109924}- Dude, did you hear|what Winona Ryder's doing?|- Oh, we can't miss this!
{109957}{110052}[ Popping Continues ]
{110054}{110195}There, l didn't miss one.|That's my Ping-Pong ball trick!
{110198}{110279}-  [ Coda ]|- Eh-heh.
{110284}{110379}Well, that's all the acts|we have for you tonight...
{110381}{110455}so let's Just get on|with the execution!
{110458}{110522}- [ Crowd Cheering ]|- Oh, no. We have to stall him.
{110524}{110608}- More! More!|- [ All ] Yeah, more!
{110610}{110700}Oh, you big sillies!|You want to see more of me?
{110702}{110774}- Yeah! Big Gay Al! Big Gay Al!|- [ Cheering ]
{110776}{110852}[ All ]|Big Gay Al! Big Gay Al!
{110854}{110986}Well, l do have a little song|l wrote about the war.|Oh, but we haven't rehearsed.
{110988}{111051}- Sing it!|- [ All ] Yeah, sing it!
{111053}{111143}- Oh, l can't.|- [ Kyle ] Sing the fucking song!
{111146}{111231}Well, all right.|lf you insist, l'll sing my song.
{111233}{111304}l believe it goes|a little bit like this.
{111376}{111497} Bombs are flying|People are dying 
{111499}{111617} Children are crying|Politicians are lying too 
{111619}{111743} Cancer is killing|Texaco's spilling 
{111745}{111852} The whole world's gone to hell|But how are you 
{111888}{111979} l'm super|Thanks for asking 
{111981}{112074} All things considered|l couldn't be better l must say 
{112076}{112119} l'm feeling super|No, nothing bugs me 
{112119}{112180} l'm feeling super|No, nothing bugs me 
{112182}{112240} Everything is super|when you're 
{112242}{112306} Don't you think|l look cute in this hat 
{112365}{112454} l'm so sorry|Mr. Cripple 
{112456}{112543} But l Just can't feel too bad|for you right now 
{112545}{112641} Because l'm feeling|so insanely super 
{112643}{112743} That even the fact that you|can't walk can't bring me down 
{112745}{112836}[ Chorus ]| He's super|Thanks for asking 
{112838}{112931} All things considered|he couldn't be better he must say 
{112933}{113013} l'm super|No, nothing bugs me 
{113015}{113083}- Whoo!|-  Everything is super when you're 
{113085}{113161} Don't you think|l look cute in this hat|These little pants 
{113163}{113222} This matching tie|that l got at Merv's 
{113224}{113304}-  l'm super |-  He's in the barracks|and the trenches as well 
{113306}{113406}- Stick 'em up!|-  Big Gay Al says|Do ask, do tell 
{113409}{113498}- Diddles!|-  Yes, he's super|and he's proud to be fey 
{113500}{113604}- Okay?|-  Everything is super when you're 
{113607}{113703} Gay 
{113747}{113810} When you're gay 
{113812}{113895}- [ Cheering ]|- [ Together ] Again! Again!
{114077}{114193}- [ Beeping ]|- Wh-- Who's there? l--
{114195}{114270}- [ Muffled ]|- Son of a gun! Heck!
{114272}{114335}- [ Continues, Muffled ]|- They're coming?
{114379}{114478}- But our moms won't listen to us!|- [ Muffled Yelling ]
{114481}{114570}Aa-aa-aah!
{114616}{114674}Okay, everybody.
{114676}{114781}just want to take a minute to|thank our wonderful sponsors--|[ Continues, lndistinct ]
{114783}{114853}- He's almost got 'em.|- Shh! We are here to rescue you.
{114855}{114944}- After l release you,|follow me through the tunnel.|- Hey, guys, seriously--
{114946}{115004}- What, Cartman?|- Kenny-- l saw Kenny again.
{115006}{115144}- Did you shut the alarm off,|Cartman? Cartman?|- Whoops.
{115146}{115226}- [ Alarm Blaring ]|- Oh, shit!|[ lmitates Dying Giraffe ]
{115228}{115311}Hey, did you hear that? Sounds like|a giraffe is dying over there.
{115313}{115378}- [ Light Clicks ]|- Aah! Shit!
{115380}{115440}- A spy!|- Get him!
{115442}{115523}- [ Barking ]|- Shit! Shit!
{115526}{115591}- [ Yipping ]|- Oh, no.
{115632}{115722}- Come on, Mole. Come on.|- Shit! Shit!
{115724}{115832}- [ Barking Continues ]|- Fucking guard dogs! Shit!|The alarms-- they went off.
{115834}{115971}- Yeah, that was my bad. Sorry.|- [ Coughing ]|Hold me. lt's so very cold.
{115973}{116055}- There is no hope now.|You must get out of here.|- We can't leave without you.
{116057}{116167}- lt's okay. l'm done for.|- No, we can't leave without you.|We don't know where we are!
{116169}{116320}Where is your God when you|need him? Huh? Where is your|beautiful, merciful faggot now?
{116322}{116430}[ Coughs ] Here l come, God.|Here l come, you fucking rat. [ Coughs ]
{116433}{116519} Now the light, she fades 
{116521}{116614} And darkness settles in 
{116617}{116699}-  But l will find strength |- No, Mole. Hang on.
{116701}{116786}-  l will find pride within |- We'll get you home.
{116788}{116871}-  Because although l die |- l can't face my mother.
{116873}{116971}-  Our freedom will be won |- Not alone.
{116973}{117046} Though l die 
{117048}{117148} La Resistance lives 
{117150}{117227} On |[ Death Rattle ]
{117513}{117571}Shit!
{117573}{117706}Okay, folks, here it is,|the moment we've all been|waiting for: the execution!
{117709}{117808}[ Cheering ]
{117849}{117946}- The day is ours!|- Super!
{117948}{118024}Oh, no, dude, it's happening.|We have to tell them about|Saddam Hussein and Satan.
{118026}{118084}No way, dude.|My mom can't see me here.
{118086}{118144}Kyle, you have to stand up|to your mother. Come on.
{118146}{118246}Gentlemen, do you have|any last words?
{118248}{118357}Last words? Let's see. How's aboot,|''Get me the fuck out of this chair''?
{118359}{118453}- How's that for last words?|- All right, Anonymous.
{118456}{118515}Ready the switch!
{118517}{118575}- Wait!|- Stanley!
{118577}{118627}- Eric!|- Kyle!
{118662}{118759}- Go on, dude, tell her.|- l-- l can't.
{118761}{118817}You can't kill|Terrance and Phillip.
{118819}{118900}lf they die, Satan and Saddam Hussein|are gonna come take over the world.
{118946}{119004}[ All Laughing ]
{119042}{119108}Throw the switch,|Mr. Garrison.
{119110}{119193}Hey, l'm supposed|to be anonymous.
{119195}{119283}- [ Both Scream ]|- Good-bye, bastards!
{119285}{119349}- No!|- [ Terrance Farts ]
{119351}{119418}- [ Both Laughing ]|- [ Cheering ]
{119543}{119610}The Canadians are attacking!|Run for your lives!
{119655}{119735}Come on!|We have to shut off the power!
{119737}{119793}Ow! Fuck! Aiiiee!
{119826}{119890}Hey!|Some little fat kid saved us!
{119892}{119976}Hey, you guys!|Shut it down!
{120025}{120080}- [ Soldier Screams ]|- Shit!
{120082}{120151}Terrance and Phillip, wait! We have|to get you to the rendezvous point!
{120153}{120241}[ All Screaming ]
{120289}{120347}Ned, behind you!
{120549}{120606}- Hey-ohhh!|- Ouch!
{120658}{120716}[ Yipping ]
{120890}{120962}[ Female Voice ]|Be not afraid.
{120964}{121064}- Oh, my God!|- Behold my glory.
{121066}{121172}- What... are you?|- l am the Clitoris.
{121174}{121247}The Clitoris? l did it!|l found the Clitoris!
{121249}{121384}Stan, you must not let|Terrance and Phillip's blood|be spilled on the ground.
{121386}{121449}Wait. You're supposed to tell me|how to get Wendy to like me.
{121452}{121515}There are more important matters|right now.
{121518}{121625}No way, dude. l looked all over|for you, and now you have to tell me|how to get Wendy to like me.
{121628}{121701}Dude, you Just have to have|confidence in yourself.
{121703}{121778}Believe in yourself|and others will believe in you.
{121780}{121846}Chicks love confidence.
{121848}{121933}Now go. Hurry.|The Clitoris has spoken.
{121935}{122010}Stan!|Stan, are you okay?
{122012}{122102}l see you've failed in your|mission. l should not have|sent a boy to do a man's Job.
{122164}{122247}Come on, everyone.|We've got precious little time.
{122332}{122432}- Die, Canadian, m'kay?|- [ Grunts ]
{122491}{122596}- Did you hear that,|Terrance? l farted.|- You did? just now?
{122599}{122657}[ Both Cackling ]
{122659}{122748}- Terrance and Phillip!|- We have to get you|to the rendezvous point!
{122750}{122808}- [ Cartman ] Hey, it's Mr. Garrison.|- [ Coughs ]
{122810}{122971}Children, take M-Mr. Hat, please.|Get him out of here.
{122973}{123079}Holy shit! Yaagh!|Hey, this V-chip is getting all screwy!
{123081}{123139}Take cover in the trench!
{123141}{123259}Human Shield up front,|then Operation Get Behind The Darkies.
{123261}{123383}Remember, Human Shield,|protect our tanks and planes too.
{123514}{123597}- Holy Mother of jehoshaphat!|- Fire on my command!
{123599}{123673}All right, squad.|just like l told you.
{123704}{123780}One... two...
{123782}{123859}- ls some people gonna die?|- Fire!
{123861}{123962}- three!|- What in the--
{123964}{124068}- Great plan, Chef.|- Operation Human Shield, my ass!
{124155}{124222}My God. This is terrible.
{124224}{124309}This is what we wanted.
{124311}{124407}We wanted our children to be brought up|in a smut-free environment.
{124410}{124469}[ Stan's Mom ]|But we didn't want this!
{124471}{124529}Where are you going?
{124531}{124594}We're going to find our boys.
{124597}{124709}For God's sake, Sheila,|we're going to get them killed!
{124872}{124984}Kyle, all those times l said you were|a big, dumb jew-- l didn't mean it.
{124986}{125045}- You're not a jew.|- [ Man Screams ]
{125047}{125113}Yes, l am!|l am a jew, Cartman!
{125115}{125196}No, no, Kyle.|Don't be so hard on yourself.
{125198}{125274}What the hell am l|still holding this for?
{125276}{125359}- [ Mr. Garrison ] Mr. Hat! No-o-o!|- Fuck this, dude!
{125361}{125436}- l'm getting out of here before|l get in really big trouble!|- l heard that!
{125439}{125513}- Stan!|- Dude, l found the Clitoris.
{125516}{125580}Now l think l can get Wendy|to like me again.
{125583}{125657}- Oh, that's swell, Stan.|- Yeah, l guess all's well|that ends well, huh?
{125659}{125747}- We can go home now. You dipshit!|- Ow!
{125749}{125846}- What's wrong with this thing?|- Come on. We can't let|Terrance and Phillip die...
{125848}{125910}or else the whole world's|gonna end!
{125948}{126012}- Terrance, look!|- There they are!
{126014}{126103}- Oh, Phillip! We're done for!|- All right, men-- fire!
{126103}{126131}- Oh, Phillip! We're done for!|- All right, men-- fire!
{126133}{126196}- Good-bye, Terrance.|- [ Weapons Cocking ]
{126326}{126394}- What is this?|- Don't shoot.
{126397}{126525}l'll take care of this.|Kids, get out of the way now!
{126667}{126770}- Kyle!|- l'm not gonna let you kill them, Mom.
{126772}{126864}- What, what, what?|- l'm not moving.
{126866}{126924}- Yeah. Uh-huh.|- Me too.
{126926}{127030}Stand down, children. You can still|see fart Jokes on Nickelodeon.
{127032}{127108}No! This is about|more than fart Jokes.
{127110}{127184}This is about freedom of speech,|about censorship...
{127186}{127254}and... stuff.
{127256}{127361}What about lke? Huh, Mom?|Did you forget that your own|adopted son is Canadian?
{127364}{127422}[ Soldiers Gasp ]
{127424}{127521}l'm-- l-l-l'm doing|very important things.
{127523}{127599}But, Mom, you never took|the time to talk to me.
{127602}{127701}Whenever l get in trouble,|you go off and blame everybody else.
{127703}{127776}But l'm the one to blame.|Deal with me.
{127778}{127903}You keep going off|and fighting all these causes,|but l don't want a fighter.
{127905}{127978}l want my Mom.
{128048}{128115}[ Sobbing ]|Poor little fella!
{128117}{128188}No-o-o!
{128190}{128272}- [ Gunshot ]|- Terrance!
{128274}{128373}- Holy shit, dude!|- Young man, you watch your mouth!
{128480}{128585}[ All Screaming ]
{128588}{128689}[ Roaring ]|My time has come!
{128691}{128763}You are really fucked now!
{128765}{128838}lt's Saddam Hussein!|Shoot him!
{128840}{128912}[ Laughing ]|What a dumb-ass!
{128940}{129028}[ Fearful Yelping ]
{129030}{129197}You have spilled the blood|of the innocent. Now begins|two million years of darkness.
{129199}{129273}Oh, good Job, Mrs. Broflovski.|Thanks a lot.
{129275}{129378}l was Just trying to make the world|a better place for children.
{129381}{129486}Yeah! And you|brought enough intolerance|to the world to allow my coming.
{129489}{129578}Now, everyone,|bow down to me!
{129607}{129704}[ Laughing ]|Yeah! Bend over!
{129706}{129855}- Oh, what have we done?|- Saddam, l'm the dark ruler, not you.
{129857}{129909}Relax, bitch.|You're better seen, not heard.
{129911}{129993}- [ Muffled ] Satan,|you gotta do something!|- l can't.
{129995}{130138}Let's start by building a big|statue of me, right over there|where that fat kid is standing.
{130140}{130213}Hey! Don't call me fat,|butt-fucker!
{130215}{130289}[ Groaning ]
{130391}{130450}Yeah, Cartman.|Do it!
{130452}{130548}Damn! Shit!|Respect my fuckin' authorit-ay!
{130550}{130618}- Aah!|- Yipe.
{130620}{130691}Hey! You need to|watch your mouth, brat!
{130693}{130775}Dogshit taco!
{130777}{130898}Aah! Uhhh!
{130900}{130990}- Quick, Satan! Do something!|- Try this on for size.
{131029}{131120}Blood-drenched|frozen tampon Popsicle!
{131122}{131187}[ Yelping ]
{131189}{131326}Hey, buddy, l know l was mean before.|But don't worry-- l can change.
{131328}{131391}- Oh!|- Okay...
{131427}{131520}- [ All Gasp ]|- Not! [ lnhales Deeply ]
{131523}{131625}Fuck, shit, cock, ass, titties,|boner, bitch, muff, pussy...
{131627}{131714}cock, butthole,|Barbra Streisand!
{131716}{131789}[ Screaming ]
{131876}{131975}What are you waiting for, bitch?|Destroy him!
{131977}{132045}Come on, you weak, stupid cum bucket!|Save me!
{132047}{132199}That's it!|l have had enough of you!
{132201}{132259}[ Screaming ]
{132261}{132339}Hey, guy! Relax!
{132398}{132456}Gaah!|[ Groans ]
{132588}{132706}He spent so much time convincing me|l was weak and stupid...
{132708}{132793}that l...|believed it myself.
{132795}{132948}l have you to thank, little one.|You showed me that l had to|get away from him.
{132950}{133046}just make any wish you want|and l shall grant it.
{133048}{133135}- [ Muffled ]|- [ All Gasp ]
{133137}{133200}- Are you sure, Kenny?|- What did he say?
{133202}{133331}He said that his wish is for|everything to go back the way|it was before this horrible war.
{133333}{133438}Kenny, you realize that means|you'd go back too.
{133441}{133535}[ Muffled ] l know.|[ Continues, lndistinct ]
{133729}{133826}Well, very well, then.|l will pull all my minions back.
{133828}{133956}l'm guess l'm destined|to live in hell... alone.
{133958}{134052}Hello. What's this?
{134054}{134124}Hi there, little guy.
{134126}{134203}Would you like to go|to Hell with me?
{134205}{134316}Sure. l bet we could be|best friends, Mr. Satan.
{134318}{134399}Feel free to come back and visit us|anytime you want, Satan.
{134402}{134466}l Just might do that.
{134469}{134559}- Thank you, Kenny.|- Yeah, thanks for going back to|Hell for us. You're a real pal.
{134724}{134782}Good-bye, you guys.
{134869}{134927}[ Demons Screeching ]
{135109}{135215}l-- l'm alive.|Where's Mr. Hat?
{135217}{135338}Wow. We were all dying,|and now we're fine. That's super!
{135340}{135420}What the fuck's going on?
{135515}{135648}You see, Mom? After all that,|it was Cartman's filthy fucking|mouth that saved us all.
{135651}{135743}l'm sorry l didn't|pay attention to you, Kyle. Mm-mm!
{135745}{135815}- Mm-mm!|- Blee-aagh!
{135817}{135926}- But, Wendy, what about Gregory?|- Oh, Stan, l never really cared|for Gregory.
{135928}{136019}- You didn't?|- No, dude. Fuck Gregory!|Fuck him right in the ear!
{136021}{136075}Yea! Thank you, Clitoris.
{136077}{136189} Everything worked out|What a happy end 
{136191}{136315} Americans and Canadians|are friends again 
{136317}{136441}-  So let's all Join hands|and knock oppression down |-  Good Lordy, l'm found 
{136444}{136531} Don't you know|Our little lives are now complete 
{136533}{136630}-  'Cause Terrance|and Phillip are sweet |-  Super sweet 
{136632}{136736} Thank God we live|in this quiet, little 
{136738}{136824} Pissant, redneck|podunk, Jerkwater 
{136826}{136900} Greenhorn, one-horse|mudhole, peckerwood 
{136902}{136974} Right-wing, whistle-stop|hobnail, truck-driving 
{136976}{137041} Old-fashioned, hayseed|inbred, unkempt 
{137043}{137113} Out-of-date, out-of-touch|white-trash, kick-ass 
{137115}{137254} Mountain 
{137256}{137405} Town 
{137408}{137466}Look!
{137916}{137979} Brian, skate 
{138011}{138069} Brian, skate 
{138071}{138160} What would Brian Boitano do|if he was here right now 
{138162}{138210} He'd make a plan|and he'd follow through 
{138212}{138275} That's what|Brian Boitano'd do 
{138342}{138400} Brian, skate 
{138432}{138490} Brian, fight 
{138492}{138577} When Brian Boitano was in the Olympics|skating for the gold 
{138579}{138669} He did two salchows and a triple lutz|wearing a blindfold 
{138672}{138764} When Brian Boitano was in the Alps|fighting grizzly bears 
{138767}{138865} He used his magical fire breath|and saved the maidens fair 
{138897}{138955} Brian, skate 
{138987}{139045} Brian, yeah 
{139047}{139130} So what would Brian Boitano do|if he was here today 
{139132}{139181} l'm sure he'd kick|an arse or two 
{139183}{139246} That's what|Brian Boitano'd do 
{139316}{139374} Brian, skate 
{139406}{139464} Brian, hey 
{139466}{139552} When Brian Boitano traveled|through time to the year 3010 
{139554}{139645} He fought the evil robot king|and saved us all again 
{139647}{139738} And when Brian Boitano|built the pyramids|he beat up Kublai Khan 
{139741}{139879} 'Cause Brian Boitano doesn't|take shit from anybody 
{139882}{139952}No, Brian! Those chicken wings|are really spicy!
{139954}{140012}Don't eat those!
{140094}{140191} l never seen a man|eat so many chicken wings 
{140193}{140294} l never seen a man|eat so many chicken wings 
{140296}{140395} l never seen a man|eat so many chicken wings 
{140397}{140494} l never seen a man|eat so many chicken wings 
{140496}{140592} l never seen a man|eat so many chicken wings 
{140594}{140690} l never seen a man|eat so many chicken wings 
{140693}{140813} l never seen a man|eat so many chicken wings 
{140816}{140921} Brian, skate, Brian 
{140924}{141000} 'Cause that's what|Brian Boitano'd do 
{141047}{141127} The eyes of a child 
{141129}{141235} So innocent and pure 
{141275}{141394} A child's heart|is full of song 
{141494}{141586} Take their tiny hand 
{141588}{141676} And lead them to the light 
{141726}{141813} As adults|we see pain in the world 
{141815}{141943} And it sometimes|don't seem right 
{141945}{142045} But through the eyes|of a child 
{142075}{142185} The world seems magical 
{142187}{142244} There's a sparkle|in their eyes 
{142246}{142304} They've yet to realize 
{142306}{142414} The darkness in their soul 
{142416}{142530} The beauty of their smile 
{142532}{142609} Adventurous and wild 
{142653}{142758} Life is kind of gay|but it doesn't seem that way 
{142761}{142852} Through the eyes of a child 
{142931}{143008} So don't give up 
{143010}{143116} Even when the road|seems long 
{143152}{143286} just find that child|inside of you 
{143288}{143375} Yeah, you've got to find you 
{143377}{143446} Spread your wings and fly 
{143478}{143568} To the brightest star 
{143608}{143689} lf you want l can even|get my friend Steve 
{143692}{143829} To detail your car|for, like, 20 bucks 
{143832}{143958} But through the eyes|of a child 
{143960}{144064} The world seems magical 
{144066}{144128} There's a sparkle|in their eyes 
{144130}{144188} They've yet to realize 
{144190}{144304} The darkness in their soul 
{144306}{144416} The beauty of their smile 
{144418}{144525} Adventurous and wild 
{144527}{144644} Sure, life is kind of gay|but it doesn't seem that way 
{144646}{144750}-  Through the eyes of a child |-  Through the eyes|Through the eyes 
{144752}{144841} Through the eyes of a child 
{144873}{144981} The world seems magical 
{144983}{145045} There's a sparkle|in their eyes 
{145047}{145105} They've yet to realize 
{145107}{145211} The bastards they really are 
{145213}{145304} The beauty of their smile 
{145344}{145441} Adventurous and wild 
{145443}{145552} Sure, life is kind of gay|but it doesn't seem that way 
{145606}{145729} Through the eyes of a child 
{145925}{145981}[ Squeaking ]
{146017}{146094}Guys out there|is hurted.
