{4238}{4297}I wish you wouldn't do that around me.|It's so filthy !
{4300}{4384}- Don't give me a problem|about the cigarettes.|- It's such a filthy habit.
{4386}{4460}Oh, my God !|Look at this.
{4505}{4593}Oh, Jesus !|This is so appalling !
{4623}{4668}I can't believe it !
{4671}{4730}I can't believe|they gave it to him.
{4880}{4925}Ah, this is pathetic !
{4928}{4981}Now he's a loser|with a Jaguar.
{4984}{5054}Seriously, who did he have to blow|to get that thing ?
{5101}{5152}- Good morning, sir.|- Mr. Willis.
{5154}{5220}- It's really, uh,|- Mr. Trask !
{5222}{5267}quite a piece|of machinery.
{5270}{5337}- Good morning, Havemeyer.|- Morning to you, sir.
{5339}{5388}- Bene !|- Bene ?
{5390}{5441}- Bene ! Fabulous !|- What's fabulous ?
{5444}{5497}That fine piece of steel|you have back there.
{5500}{5549}Ah, you don't think|I deserve it.
{5551}{5656}No, sir. On the contrary.|I think it's great.
{5659}{5766}Should the headmaster of Baird be seen|putt-putting around in some junker ?
{5768}{5827}In fact, I think the|board of trustees have had...
{5829}{5907}their first, true stroke|of inspiration in some time.
{5910}{6013}Thank you, Havemeyer.|I'll take that at face value.
{6016}{6065}I'd expect|nothing less, sir.
{6068}{6119}Have a good day.
{6183}{6230}- Morning, Mrs. Hunsaker.|- Good morning.
{6232}{6281}What have we here,|Murderer's Row ?
{6457}{6516}- What was that about ?|- Nothing. Just saying hello.
{6519}{6601}I like to say hello|to Headmaster Trask.
{6604}{6680}Sugarbush. Lift tickets and|condo vouchers.
{6682}{6774}- I thought we were goin' to Stowe.|- Sugarbush is Stowe, Jimmy.
{6776}{6873}We're doing it right. Thanksgiving|in Vermont, Christmas in Switzerland --
{6875}{6926}-Christmas in Gstaad is gonna cost us --|-'Staad.
{6928}{7004}The "G" is silent.|'Staad. George ?
{7007}{7043}- 'Staad.|- Trent ?
{7045}{7102}- 'Staad, man.|- So what about 'Staad ?
{7104}{7147}Fine. The "G" may be silent,
{7150}{7214}but it's gonna take at least|three grand to get there.
{7216}{7314}- I'll talk to my father.|- Better yet, have my father|talk to your father.
{7316}{7365}Or my father|talk to your father.
{7425}{7474}You goin' home|this weekend, Chas ?
{7491}{7527}Uh, I don't know.
{7544}{7597}You goin' home to fuckin' ldaho|for Thanksgiving ?
{7609}{7647}I'm from Oregon.
{7664}{7700}I meant fuckin' Oregon.
{7717}{7764}Charlie, how do you feel about skiing ?
{7796}{7876}You in the mood for|the white-bosomed slopes of Vermont ?
{7904}{7974}Got a deal going.|20% off for my friends.
{7976}{8046}My father set it up.|Christmas in Switzerland.
{8048}{8101}- 'Staad.|- Gstaad. Dropping the "G" is phony.
{8104}{8182}- You said everybody says 'Staad.|- Not if you've been there.
{8184}{8258}Easter in Bermuda,|then Kentucky Derby weekend.
{8261}{8312}We could fit you in, kid.
{8314}{8406}Well, how much are|these white-bosomed slopes of Vermont ?
{8408}{8453}Twelve hundred !
{8456}{8557}Includes a nine-course,|champagne thanksgiving dinner.
{8559}{8620}$1200 is a little rich|for my blood, Harry.
{8648}{8691}Well, how short|are you ?
{8698}{8743}How short, Harry ?
{8750}{8838}So short it wouldn't be worth the|trouble of you and George to measure.
{8840}{8910}- But, thanks for askin', all right ?|- Mm-hmm.
{8912}{8994}- If you change your mind --|- What'd you do that for ?|You know he's on aid.
{9021}{9080}On major holidays, Willis, it's|customary for the lord of the manor...
{9082}{9154}- to offer drippings to the poor.|- You're so full of shit !
{9805}{9864}- Hi. Mrs. Rossi ?|- Yes ?
{9867}{9932}I'm here about|the weekend job.
{9964}{10009}Come on in.
{10120}{10192}Does he got pimples ?|He hates pimples.
{10194}{10235}Francine, be quiet.
{10238}{10302}Pimples. Pimples.|Yeah.
{10304}{10361}Shush !|I'm sorry.
{10364}{10438}- The school gave me your name,|but I've forgotten it.|- It's Charlie Simms.
{10441}{10490}- How are you, Charlie ?|- Fine, thanks.
{10491}{10519}Right this way.
{10608}{10684}- You're available the whole weekend ?|- Uh, yeah.
{10702}{10735}- Not going home for Thanksgiving ?|- No.
{10736}{10760}Good.
{10832}{10903}They put him in a veteran's home,|but he hated it,
{10905}{10960}so I told my dad|that we'd take him.
{11007}{11083}Before you go in, do you mind|my telling you a few things ?
{11086}{11191}Don't "sir" him and don't ask him|too many questions.
{11194}{11286}And if he staggers a little when|he gets up, don't pay any attention.
{11309}{11416}Charlie, I can tell you're|the right person for the job,
{11427}{11486}and Uncle Frank's|gonna like you a lot too.
{11519}{11578}Uh, where you gonna be|this weekend ?
{11580}{11631}We're driving to Albany.
{11634}{11751}Donny, my husband,|has family there.
{11866}{11925}- Do you want Tommy in or out ?|- Leave him out !
{11928}{12035}He's chasin' that Calico ginch|from the track houses again !
{12176}{12244}Down deep, the man|is a lump of sugar.
{12736}{12820}- Sir ?|- Don't call me sir !
{12822}{12902}I-l'm sorry.|I mean mister, sir.
{12905}{12997}Uh-oh, we got a moron here,|is that it ?
{12999}{13093}No, mister --|Uh, that is --
{13096}{13162}Uh, Lieutenant.|Yes, sir, Lieu--
{13164}{13217}Lieutenant Colonel.
{13220}{13335}26 years on the line, nobody ever|busted me four grades before.
{13337}{13396}Get in here,|you idiot !
{13545}{13621}Come a little closer. I wanna get a|better look at ya.
{13809}{13862}How's your skin, son ?
{13874}{13925}My skin, sir ?
{13927}{14011}- Oh, for Christ's sake.|- I'm sorry, I don--
{14014}{14100}Just call me Frank.|Call me Mr. Slade.
{14103}{14193}Call me Colonel, if you must.|Just don't call me sir.
{14196}{14268}All right, Colonel.
{14315}{14380}Simms, Charles.|A senior.
{14382}{14464}- You on student aid, Simms ?|- Uh, yes, I am.
{14467}{14539}For "student aid"|read "crook."
{14556}{14617}Your father peddles car telephones|at a 300% markup.
{14620}{14704}Your mother works on heavy commission|in a camera store.
{14707}{14776}Graduated to it|from espresso machines.
{14778}{14817}Hah-hah !
{14927}{15015}What are you, dying of|some wasting disease ?
{15048}{15122}No, I'm right --|I'm right here.
{15124}{15212}I know exactly where|your body is.
{15214}{15308}What I'm lookin' for|is some indication of a brain.
{15310}{15381}Too much football|without a helmet ?
{15383}{15473}Hah ! Lyndon's line|on Gerry Ford.
{15496}{15584}Deputy Debriefer,|Paris Peace Talks, '68.
{15587}{15684}Snagged the Silver Star|and a silver bar. Threw me into G-2.
{15686}{15733}G-2 ?
{15735}{15811}Intelligence,|of which you have none.
{15886}{15937}Where you from ?
{15940}{16018}Um, Gresham, Oregon,
{16020}{16065}s-- Colonel.
{16068}{16136}What does your daddy do|in Gresham, Oregon ?
{16138}{16183}Hmm ? Count wood chips ?
{16222}{16312}Uh, my stepfather and my mom|run a convenience store.
{16315}{16432}- How convenient ! What time they open ?|- 5:00 A.M.
{16435}{16490}- Close ?|- 1:00 A.M.
{16492}{16541}Hard workers.
{16544}{16614}You got me all|misty-eyed !
{16678}{16777}So, what are you doin' here|in this sparrow-fart town ?
{16779}{16830}I, l--|I attend Baird.
{16874}{16942}Attend Baird !
{16944}{17005}I know you go|to the Baird school.
{17008}{17079}Point is,|how do you afford it,
{17081}{17194}even with the student aid and|the folks back home hustlin' Cornnuts ?
{17196}{17309}I won a, uh,|Young America merit scholarship.
{17312}{17371}Whoo-ah !
{17402}{17498}Glory, glory, Hallelujah
{17500}{17596}Glory, glory, Hallelujah
{17664}{17709}Who's there ?
{17712}{17798}That little piece of tail ?
{17838}{17893}Get her outta here !
{18101}{18150}Yeah.
{18173}{18230}Can't believe|they're my blood.
{18353}{18447}I.Q. of sloths and|the manners of banshees.
{18450}{18509}He's a mechanic,|she's a homemaker.
{18512}{18569}He knows as much about cars|as a beauty queen,
{18572}{18660}and she bakes cookies,|taste like wing nuts.
{18663}{18747}As for the tots,|they're twits.
{18750}{18815}How's your skin, son ?|I like my aides to be presentable.
{18896}{18980}Well, I --|I've had a few zits.
{18983}{19114}Um, but my roommate, he lent me|his Clinique because he's from --
{19116}{19167}"The History of My Skin,"|by Charles Simms.
{19211}{19262}You patronizing me,|peewee ? Hmm ?
{19304}{19388}You givin' me that old|prep school palaver ?
{19391}{19457}Baird School !
{19459}{19539}A bunch of runny-nosed snots|in tweed jackets...
{19542}{19603}all studyin'|to be George Bush.
{19651}{19696}Well...
{19699}{19777}I believe President Bush|went to Andover, Colonel.
{19845}{19900}You sharpshootin' me, punk ?
{19936}{19983}Is that what you're doin' ?
{19986}{20062}Don't you|sharpshoot me !
{20064}{20121}You'll give me forty.
{20124}{20183}Then you're gonna give me|forty more.
{20186}{20266}Then you're gonna pull K.P.,|the grease pit !
{20268}{20371}I'll rub your nose|in enlisted men's crud...
{20373}{20470}till you don't know which end is up !|You understand ?
{20472}{20517}Yeah.
{20520}{20602}- What do you want ?|- What do you mean, what do I want ?
{20604}{20680}What do you want here ?
{20704}{20761}I wa-want a job.
{20764}{20807}A job !
{20810}{20861}Yeah, I want a job|so I can make, you know,
{20864}{20930}my plane fare home|for Christmas.
{20932}{20993}Oh.
{20996}{21067}God, you're touching !
{21324}{21396}From the banks
{21399}{21479}Of the mighty Mississippi
{21481}{21617}Workin' the whole night through
{21619}{21690}Till the riverboat gamblers
{21692}{21764}Stop to make a killin'
{21766}{21846}Bring it on back to you
{21848}{21905}Still here, poormouth ?
{21908}{21953}Hmm ?
{21955}{22085}Convenience store...|my ass !
{22087}{22186}Hustlin' jalapeno dips|to the appleseeds.
{22213}{22260}Go on.
{22263}{22308}Dismissed.
{22371}{22418}Dismissed !
{22591}{22662}Evangeline
{22664}{22746}Evangeline
{22748}{22805}Mrs. Rossi ?
{22808}{22898}Charlie, we're up here !|Come on up.
{22929}{22982}- Uh, this is Donny.|- Hey, Charlie.
{22984}{23033}Hi.
{23035}{23111}Uh, Mrs. Rossi,|I got the feelin' I screwed up.
{23114}{23202}- Oh, you couldn't have.|- It was a bad interview.
{23204}{23261}That was no interview, Charlie.|You're it.
{23264}{23338}You're the only one that showed up.|You have to take the job.
{23341}{23452}He sleeps a lot. You can|watch television, call your girlfriend.
{23454}{23499}I promise you,|an easy 300 bucks.
{23502}{23596}I don't get an easy feeling.
{23680}{23756}His bark is worse|than his bite.
{23758}{23838}He was a great soldier,|a real hero.
{23840}{23914}The man grows on you !
{23916}{23994}By Sunday night,|you'll be best friends.
{24016}{24100}Charlie, please.
{24103}{24189}I want to get away for a few days,|and Uncle Frank won't come with us.
{24192}{24276}Six months ago, he could|sometimes tell light from dark,
{24279}{24334}but now there's nothing.
{24336}{24439}I feel better having|someone else around just in case.
{24552}{24599}Please ?
{24673}{24734}Okay, Mrs. Rossi.|Sure.
{24736}{24835}- Thank you, Charlie.|- Come here, you.
{25032}{25077}There you go.
{25080}{25135}Chas ! Chas, hold up !
{25178}{25223}- How ya doin' ?|- I'm good.
{25226}{25273}That's great.
{25276}{25329}This can't go out.|This is on reserve.
{25408}{25457}Here's the thing.
{25460}{25542}I need the book tonight...
{25544}{25632}- for a Thanksgiving quiz with|big-shit Preston in the morning.|- Yeah, I know.
{25635}{25690}That's why he put it on reserve.|This is our only copy.
{25692}{25757}Chas, I'm pullin'|an all-nighter.
{25759}{25851}Without that book|I'm dead, okay ?
{25874}{25952}If it's not back by 7:30,|it's gonna be my ass.
{25954}{26040}Oh, I promise.|I promise.
{26202}{26263}- Got it ?|- Yeah.
{26598}{26676}Just a second.|I gotta lock up.
{26774}{26821}Okay.
{26848}{26920}God, can you wait to get out|of this dump or what ?
{27050}{27095}Where you guys|going skiing again ?
{27098}{27172}- Sugarloaf or --|- It's bush, Chas, Sugarbush.
{27411}{27482}That's my boys.|What are you doin' ?
{27484}{27554}Keep your voice down !
{27556}{27609}I'll tell you about it|in the morning.
{27612}{27696}- Shh.|- Wha--
{27742}{27844}- Miss Hunsaker, have a nice day ?|- George, why all the noise ?
{27846}{27918}It's Hunsaker ! Go ! Go !
{27920}{27977}I was just|messin' around with Chas.
{27980}{28029}- Good evening, Charles.|- Hi, Mrs. Hunsaker.
{28198}{28245}- What was that ?|- I don't know, ma'am.
{28248}{28328}- Who were those boys ?|What were they doing ?|- Oh, who knows ?
{28331}{28415}- Charles ?|- Um --
{28417}{28507}- Did you make this scarf yourself ?|- No, George, I bought it.
{28509}{28575}- 'Cause it's a beauty. It really is.|- Thank you, George.
{28577}{28642}In case I don't see you before|the Thanksgiving holidays,
{28644}{28713}- why don't you give me|one of your big hugs ?|- Oh, George !
{28715}{28762}- Please ? Come on.|- Good evening, boys.
{28764}{28821}Good-bye,|Mrs. Hunsaker.
{29283}{29384}Mr. Trask is our fearless leader,
{29386}{29499}a man of learning,|a voracious reader.
{29501}{29593}He could recite the "lliad"|in ancient Greek...
{29596}{29699}while fishing for trout|in a rippling creek.
{29701}{29814}Endowed with wisdom,|of judgement sound,
{29817}{29928}nevertheless about him|the questions abound.
{30016}{30147}How does Mr. Trask|make such wonderful deals ?
{30149}{30246}Why did the trustees|buy him Jaguar wheels ?
{30248}{30301}He wasn't conniving !
{30303}{30381}He wasn't crass !
{30383}{30465}He merely|puckered his lips...
{30493}{30587}and kissed their ass !
{30972}{31044}Come on.|Come on.
{31163}{31220}One more !|One more, come on !
{31485}{31524}Aah !
{31685}{31728}Fuck you !
{31893}{31987}Mr. Simms, Mr. Willis.
{31990}{32049}Hmm.
{32051}{32152}Mrs. Hunsaker says that you gentlemen|were at a vantage point last night...
{32154}{32240}to observe who was|responsible for this, uh,
{32242}{32303}stunt.
{32405}{32479}Who was it ?
{32481}{32555}I really couldn't|tell you, sir.
{32557}{32659}Um, I thought I saw someone|fooling with the lamppost,
{32661}{32766}but by the time I pulled focus,|they were gone.
{32769}{32839}Mr. Simms ?
{32861}{32908}I couldn't say.
{32957}{33051}That automobile is not|just a possession of mine.
{33054}{33169}That automobile was presented|to me by the Board of Trustees.
{33171}{33296}It is a symbol of the standard|of excellence for which|this school is known,
{33298}{33370}and I will not|have it tarnished.
{33373}{33418}The automobile ?
{33466}{33517}The standard,|Mr. Willis.
{33602}{33703}- What's your position, Mr. Simms ?|- On what, sir ?
{33705}{33758}On preserving the|reputation of Baird.
{33761}{33853}- I-l'm for Baird.|- Then, who did it ?
{33892}{33949}I really couldn't say for sure.
{34080}{34127}Very well.
{34296}{34353}First thing Monday,|I'm convening a special session...
{34355}{34414}of the student-faculty|disciplinary committee.
{34416}{34477}As this is a matter which|concerns the whole school,
{34479}{34550}the entire student body|will be present.
{34552}{34615}There will be no classes,|no activities.
{34617}{34668}Nothing will transpire|at this institution...
{34670}{34741}until that proceeding|is concluded.
{34793}{34889}And if, at that time,|we are no further along than we are now,
{34927}{35003}I will expel you both.
{35101}{35173}Mr. Willis,|would you excuse us ?
{35250}{35338}Have a nice Thanksgiving.
{35341}{35388}Thank you.|You too, Mr. Willis.
{35390}{35437}I will.
{35609}{35662}Mr. Simms.
{35665}{35753}I'm not quite through|with you yet.
{35963}{36045}One of the few perks|of this office is that...
{36047}{36175}I am empowered to handle|certain matters on my own as I see fit.
{36177}{36222}Do you understand ?
{36225}{36284}- Yes, sir.|- Good.
{36287}{36363}The Dean of Admissions at Harvard|and I have an arrangement.
{36365}{36443}Along with the usual sheaf of applicants|submitted by Baird,
{36445}{36494}of which virtually,
{36496}{36582}oh, two-thirds are|guaranteed admittance,
{36584}{36666}I add one name,
{36669}{36763}somebody who's a standout|and yet, underprivileged;
{36765}{36905}a student who cannot afford to pay|the board and tuition in Cambridge.
{36950}{37038}Do you know on whose behalf|I drafted a memo this year ?
{37041}{37171}- No, sir.|- You. You, Mr. Simms.
{37250}{37303}Now can you tell me|who did it ?
{37365}{37410}No, sir, I can't.
{37441}{37509}You take the weekend|to think about it, Mr. Simms.
{37565}{37641}Good afternoon.
{37674}{37729}What'd he say ?
{37731}{37782}- Nothin'.|- What do you mean, nothing ?
{37785}{37840}He said the same thing.|He just said it over.
{37843}{37892}You know what|he's doing ?
{37894}{37970}He's good-cop,|bad-coppin' us.
{37973}{38026}He knows I'm old guard.|You're fringe.
{38028}{38112}He's gonna bear down on me|and soft-soap you.
{38114}{38227}Did he try to soft-soap you ? Did he ?
{38229}{38290}No.
{38293}{38365}Chas, I detect a slight panic pulse|from you. Are you panicking ?
{38368}{38425}- Yeah, a little.|- Come on.
{38428}{38508}- You're on scholarship, right ?|- Yeah.
{38510}{38621}You're on scholarship|from Oregon... at Baird.
{38623}{38694}You're a long way from home, Chas.
{38696}{38751}What's that got to do|with anything ?
{38753}{38806}I don't know how|it works out there.
{38809}{38893}But how it works here ?|We stick together.
{38896}{38953}It's us against them,|no matter what.
{38956}{39050}We don't cover our ass.|We don't tell our parents.
{39053}{39117}Stonewall everybody !
{39119}{39230}And above all,|never, never...
{39232}{39320}Ieave any of us|twisting in the wind.
{39347}{39392}And that's it.
{39395}{39452}What does that have to do|with me being on scholarship ?
{39455}{39510}Hey, hey !
{39512}{39594}I'm just tryin' to bring you|up to speed, kid, that's it.
{39597}{39663}Thanks.
{39701}{39804}I'll tell you what. Give me a few hours|to figure out the moves,
{39806}{39888}and call me tonight|in Vermont.
{39890}{39968}I'll be at the Sugarbush lodge,|all right ?
{39970}{40031}All right.
{40034}{40093}You all right ?
{40095}{40166}Yeah, I guess so.
{40168}{40229}Okay.
{40263}{40316}Try to keep him down|to four drinks a day.
{40319}{40387}If you can keep him down to forty,|you're doin' good.
{40389}{40473}Try to water them down a little.|Do you know how to do that ?
{40475}{40574}- It's a long ride, honey !|- Get the bags in the car.|I'll be right out.
{40575}{40667}Mommy, Mommy !|Don't forget Uncle Frank's walk.
{40690}{40739}Oh, ha... Yeah.
{40742}{40830}Uh, you have to|air him out...
{40832}{40887}a little every day.
{40889}{40965}Why don't you go on back there,|get yourself oriented ?
{40967}{41076}I'll come out in a minute,|give you telephone numbers and stuff.
{41079}{41140}Well, I wouldn't try|a thing like that...
{41142}{41201}unless I knew,|would I ?
{41203}{41248}Just let me|speak to her.
{41251}{41296}Hello, beautiful.|Is that you ?
{41299}{41371}Yeah,|we spoke yesterday.
{41374}{41442}You have a glass of wine|with lunch ?
{41444}{41528}You sound|a little dusky. Hmm.
{41531}{41623}Just a minute, sweetheart.
{41626}{41710}You're back, huh ?
{41713}{41750}Tenacious !
{41752}{41832}Get out my dress blues.|They're in a garment bag in the closet.
{41835}{41884}Check the top dresser drawer.|Take out the shoulder boards...
{41886}{41935}and affix them|shoulders right and left,
{41937}{41998}A.S.A.P.|That means now.
{42001}{42046}Hello.
{42049}{42127}Sorry to keep you|waitin', sweetheart.
{42129}{42188}I'm not the kind of guy|who likes to rush things,
{42190}{42326}but I'm catchin' a 4:00|at Logan, lookin' out my window,|and there's not a taxi in sight.
{42329}{42384}What happened to Chet ?
{42387}{42436}He didn't invest|in a radio yet ?
{42438}{42514}Hah ! Well,|get your driver on it.
{42517}{42603}Tell him to get|a move on.
{42606}{42673}Yes. Mmm.
{42675}{42777}Some kind of body has got to go|with that bedroom voice.
{42779}{42838}One day I'm gonna swing by,|get a better look at it.
{42841}{42904}You bet.
{42906}{42953}Bye.
{43024}{43108}My val-pak's underneath the bed.|Get it out.
{43110}{43159}Put the boards on the blues|and fold 'em in.
{43161}{43247}Uh, are we going someplace,|Colonel ?
{43249}{43329}What business is that of yours ?|Don't shrug, imbecile.
{43331}{43450}I'm blind. Save your body language|for the bimbi.
{43452}{43567}- Now, get my gear out.|- Francine, get in the car.
{43570}{43673}It's almost 3:00. The goddamn|Flintstones haven't left yet.
{43675}{43776}Willie Rossi must go in the car !
{43798}{43886}- Here comes Mrs. Rossi now.|- Damn it !
{43889}{43969}She said good-bye to me|three times today.
{43972}{44023}What's she got,|separation anxiety ?
{44025}{44097}Cut her off|at the door !
{44131}{44194}Hi, honey.|Bye, honey.
{44259}{44316}I wish you were|coming with us.
{44319}{44372}Me too.
{44375}{44438}Maybe next time.
{44525}{44586}- Drive carefully now.|- Yeah.
{44614}{44716}Charlie, this is|where we'll be.
{44718}{44783}Good luck, Charlie.|Don't let him drink too much.
{44882}{44939}See ya, Charlie !
{44941}{45029}And no 900 numbers.|He loves to talk dirty.
{45197}{45262}All right,|let's get to work.
{45482}{45545}L-buckles|givin' you trouble ?
{45578}{45631}Never in the Boy Scouts,|sluggo ?
{45634}{45720}- I, I made Tenderfoot.|- Tenderfoot, my foot !
{45723}{45778}Convenience-store|mama's boy.
{45780}{45831}Here. Let me|take a look at that.
{45833}{45927}Touch me again, I'll kill ya,|you little son-of-a-bitch !
{45958}{46081}I touch you.|Understand ?
{46134}{46231}My shoulder boards are in|the top dresser drawer. Get them, son.
{46233}{46334}The epaulets with|the silver oak leaf.
{46721}{46791}- Are these --|- Good.
{46793}{46852}Taxi come yet ?
{46855}{46910}Colonel,|where are we going ?
{46913}{46958}Where we going ?
{46961}{47018}Freak show central.
{47021}{47089}- Where's that ?|- New York City.
{47134}{47195}That's in New York, son.|New York State.
{47197}{47300}Uh, Mrs. Rossi didn't say anything to me|about going anywhere.
{47302}{47353}She forgot.
{47356}{47428}- Should we call her, 'cause I --|- You kidding me ?
{47431}{47521}Call her ? By the time they get to|Albany in that "hupmobile" he drives...
{47524}{47589}it'll be opening day|at Saratoga.
{47591}{47687}- Colonel, I can't go to New York City.|- Why not ?
{47689}{47736}New York --
{47739}{47827}- New York's too much responsibility.|- Ah, responsibility !
{47829}{47894}I had a lot of 17 year olds|my first platoon.
{47896}{47976}I took care of them.|All set !
{48006}{48071}How do I look ?
{48073}{48139}Tickets. Money.
{48141}{48186}Speech.
{48189}{48275}Old Washington joke...|from my days with Lyndon.
{48278}{48370}I knew I could count on transportation.
{48373}{48422}Are you ready ?
{48471}{48551}This is not Panmunjom.|A simple yes will do.
{48554}{48603}- Um --|- Good ! Here you go.
{48605}{48674}Come on !|Hup to it, son !
{48676}{48739}You're in front of me.|Let's go.
{48741}{48823}Tomster, come here, boy.
{48825}{48886}Psst, psst.|Come on.
{48889}{48985}Here, tomster, come on.|Tomster, tomster. Yeah.
{49017}{49136}Remember, when in doubt... fuck.
{49210}{49271}Good afternoon, sir.|Where's our destination ?
{49274}{49343}Our destination... New York City,|home of the brave !
{49345}{49419}- Two for the shuttle to New York.|- I'm not shuttling anywhere.
{49422}{49512}- Look at those tickets. "First class."|- Yes, sir, first class.
{49515}{49605}You bought me a ticket ?|I never said I'd go to New York.
{49608}{49707}What are you, some kind of chicken-shit,|sticks to job description only ?
{49709}{49754}Gate 46, sir.
{49757}{49825}- As you were, son.|- Thank you, sir.
{49827}{49886}Which way's the door ?
{49889}{49987}- Are you blind ? Are you blind ?|- Of course not.
{49989}{50067}Then why do you keep grabbin'|my goddamn arm ?
{50069}{50149}I take your arm.
{50229}{50278}- I'm sorry.|- Don't be sorry.
{50280}{50344}How would you know,|watchin' MTV all your life ?
{50357}{50404}Yes !
{50448}{50503}- Jack Daniels...|- You bet.
{50553}{50631}- and Diet Slice.|- The old Diet Slice.
{50633}{50686}- And a water.|- Thank you, Daphne.
{50689}{50734}Certainly, sir.
{50855}{50904}Ahh ! Mmm !
{50906}{50998}How did you know her name ?
{51000}{51080}Well, she's|wearin' Floris.
{51082}{51158}That's an|English cologne.
{51161}{51258}But her voice is|California chickie.
{51260}{51352}Now, California chickie|bucking for English lady --
{51355}{51441}I call her Daphne.
{51444}{51553}Oh, big things may happen to|that little thing of yours.
{51586}{51655}Look, Colonel,
{51657}{51710}- I'll get you to New York, all right ?|- Uh-huh.
{51713}{51793}Then I'm gonna have|to turn around and come back.
{51795}{51869}Well, Chuck, you gotta do|what you gotta do.
{51872}{51946}Charlie, all right ?|Or Charles.
{51949}{52002}Sorry.|I can't blame you, though.
{52005}{52054}Chuck is a --
{52110}{52175}So, why are we|going to New York ?
{52177}{52261}All information will be given|on a need-to-know basis.
{52306}{52351}Whoo-ah !
{52354}{52407}Where's Daphne ?|Let's get her down here.
{52461}{52506}She's in the back.
{52509}{52595}A tail's in the tail.
{52597}{52644}Hah !
{52646}{52720}Oh, but I still smell her.
{52777}{52836}Women !
{52839}{52913}What can you say ?
{52915}{52962}Who made 'em ?
{52979}{53034}God must have been|a fuckin' genius.
{53145}{53186}The hair --
{53209}{53273}They say the hair|is everything, you know.
{53310}{53408}Have you ever buried your nose|in a mountain of curls...
{53410}{53525}and just wanted|to go to sleep forever ?
{53528}{53616}Or lips --
{53619}{53668}and when they touched,|yours were like...
{53670}{53758}that first swallow|of wine...
{53761}{53816}after you just crossed|the desert.
{53904}{53988}Tits ! Whoo-ah !
{53991}{54071}Big ones, little ones,
{54073}{54130}nipples staring|right out at ya...
{54133}{54203}Iike secret searchlights.
{54205}{54275}Mmm.
{54297}{54363}And legs --
{54365}{54443}I don't care if|they're Greek columns...
{54445}{54527}or secondhand Steinways.
{54529}{54609}What's between 'em,
{54612}{54673}passport to heaven.
{54691}{54740}I need a drink.
{54829}{54907}Yes, Mr. Simms,
{54909}{55028}there's only two syllables|in this whole wide world worth hearing:
{55122}{55169}pussy.
{55189}{55234}Hah !
{55237}{55311}Are you listening to me, son ?|I'm givin' you pearls here.
{55349}{55404}I guess you|really like women.
{55406}{55492}Oh, above all things !
{55609}{55697}A very, very|distant second...
{55740}{55807}is a Ferrari.
{55959}{56031}Charlie ?
{56033}{56084}Give me your hand.
{56138}{56212}This is just the start|of your education, son.
{56591}{56638}Whoo-ah !
{56640}{56712}- Where are we ?|- Where are we, eh ?
{56714}{56794}The cynosure of|all things civilized:
{56796}{56845}the Waldorf-Astoria.
{56847}{56952}The last time I was here, Charlie,|was with a G-2 from Brussels.
{56954}{56999}Had a Ferrari.
{57002}{57076}Every day I held the door|open for the fucker.
{57079}{57126}Never even offered me|a ride.
{57129}{57174}Well, fuck him.
{57177}{57234}He's dead and I'm blind.
{57272}{57325}- Spread the word.|- Thank you, sir.
{57328}{57414}- The intelligence will be forthcoming ?|- Sir ?
{57416}{57463}On the escort scene.
{57465}{57524}Um, yes, sir.
{57527}{57611}- And welcome to the Waldorf.|- Gracias, amigo.
{57647}{57731}Puerto Ricans...|always made the best infantrymen.
{57888}{57939}Oh !
{58104}{58159}I'm home again.
{58161}{58235}Give me an inventory|on this, will you ?
{58361}{58412}All right,|where am l, in Asia ?
{58415}{58484}He told me the phone was on|the other side of the room, didn't he ?
{58486}{58550}By the windows ?
{58552}{58624}It's right here.
{58626}{58675}Okay.
{58677}{58732}We're in business.
{58827}{58878}Get me the Oak Room.
{58880}{58931}How's that inventory|comin' ?
{58979}{59098}Uh, there's Jim Beam|and Early Times.
{59101}{59170}Quartermaster's on the take again.|Hello.
{59172}{59266}Is Sheldon or Mack there ?
{59269}{59326}This is|Lt. Col. Frank Slade.
{59329}{59442}I used to be a regular. I used|to come in with a General Garbisch.
{59469}{59549}Yes, that's probably because|he's at Arlington six feet under.
{59552}{59655}Listen up. I want a table for two, and|I don't mean Siberia, 8:15.
{59691}{59752}Clear them little|bottles off.
{59754}{59828}And when I get off the phone,|call up Hyman.
{59830}{59900}Tell him I want it|wall to wall with John Daniels.
{59902}{59978}Uh, don't you mean,|uh, Jack Daniels ?
{59980}{60068}He may be Jack to you, son. But when|you've known him as long as I have --
{60071}{60107}That's a joke.|Hello !
{60109}{60214}This is Lt. Col. Frank Slade.|I would like a limo, 8:00.
{60360}{60409}What are you drinkin' ?
{60412}{60500}Uh, nothing, thanks.|I don't use it.
{60502}{60574}What's useful about it ?
{60576}{60666}I don't know. Listen, Colonel,|I have to get going.
{60668}{60717}Where you goin' ?
{60720}{60810}Back to school. I've got some real|important stuff I have to take care of.
{60851}{60910}Very well.
{60912}{60986}But I never let my aides leave|on an empty stomach.
{60989}{61063}You'll dine with me and then my driver|will transport you...
{61065}{61151}to the airport for the Boston Shuttle|departing at 2200 hours.
{61186}{61266}Meanwhile,|unpack my bag.
{61269}{61320}I'm gonna christen|the latrine.
{61355}{61406}What's your name, driver ?
{61409}{61473}- Manny, sir.|- Manny.
{61475}{61561}The bellhops at the Waldorf, are they|any good at getting escorts ?
{61564}{61650}- I wouldn't know, sir.|- What would you know ?
{61652}{61736}- About what ?|- About you-know-what ?
{61773}{61830}Maybe I could|manage something.
{61833}{61907}I'm talkin' top of the line, now.
{61910}{61963}Let me think|about this, sir.
{62148}{62195}What's the matter|with you ?
{62198}{62313}- With me ?|- Yeah. Car feels heavy. You know why ?
{62315}{62399}You got the fuckin' weight of the world|on your shoulders.
{62490}{62547}I got a little problem|at school, that's all.
{62550}{62620}- Spit it out !|- It's not a big deal, all right ?
{62622}{62667}Where we going,|the Oak Room or somethin' ?
{62670}{62734}If it's not a big deal, why did you say|"real important stuff" ?
{62736}{62836}What are you doin', banging|the dean's daughter ? Hah !
{62873}{62963}- I'm just in a little trouble.|- What kind of trouble ?
{62965}{63041}I saw some guys|doing something.
{63074}{63154}To tell or not to tell,|or it's your ass.
{63157}{63204}Hmm ?
{63253}{63304}- How'd you know that ?|- I'm a wizard.
{63306}{63367}Give me the details,|come on.
{63500}{63549}There's this guy|at school named Harry.
{63552}{63601}He's this real rich kid.
{63604}{63655}He like...|runs the show.
{63658}{63721}Who else ?
{63723}{63824}There's another guy, George,|but George didn't do anything.
{63826}{63918}George and I saw Harry and his buddies|doin' somethin'.
{63921}{63970}Now, the folks at Baird,
{63972}{64048}they know you and George can|identify the guilty parties ?
{64117}{64166}Yeah, they think we can.
{64169}{64282}- George is a friend of yours.|- He's not a friend, but he's all right.
{64284}{64370}- You trust him ?|- Yeah, I guess so.
{64373}{64490}- He's on scholarship too ?|- No, why ?
{64493}{64573}We got George, we got Harry,|we got trouble.
{64576}{64643}They're rich, you're poor.|You wanna get rich.
{64645}{64725}You wanna graduate Baird,|become a rich big shot like them.
{64728}{64802}- Am I right ?|- No. It's not that way at all.
{64804}{64857}Okay, Charlie !
{64902}{64961}Here we are, gentlemen:|the Oak Room.
{64964}{65021}The Oak Room !
{65024}{65096}Bring us a menu and double Jack Daniels|on the rocks.
{65098}{65143}Charlie, sit down here.
{65146}{65240}Uh, perhaps you'll feel more|comfortable in this, sir.
{65340}{65420}You look great !
{65528}{65589}Thank you.
{65591}{65665}Here we are, Charlie:|the Oak Room.
{65668}{65744}Now, read me|the bill of fare.
{65746}{65807}Uh, let's see.
{65810}{65882}You got the Oak Room Burger|and fries for $24.
{65884}{65962}Where's the booze ?|Flowin' like mud around here.
{65964}{66011}A $24 hamburger ?
{66014}{66065}W-What's the story ?
{66068}{66135}What story ?
{66137}{66227}- Are you a rich miser or something ?|- Hah !
{66230}{66289}No, I'm just your average|blind man.
{66292}{66355}Your average blind man.
{66357}{66433}How do you plan on|paying for all this stuff ?
{66435}{66517}Crisp, clean dollars...|American.
{66520}{66565}I saved up my|disability checks.
{66568}{66642}How much did you save ?|I mean, we flew first class,
{66644}{66724}we're at the Waldorf-Astoria,|a $24 hamburger restaurant.
{66726}{66818}- All part of a plan, Charlie.|- You want to let me in on it ?
{66820}{66883}Why should I ? You're not interested.|You don't give a shit !
{66885}{66990}You're leavin' on that|last shuttle out of La Guardia.
{66992}{67076}Hmm ? Ooh !
{67079}{67142}You got 15 minutes, son. I don't think|you're gonna make it,
{67144}{67274}unless the Oak Room keeps some|complimentary helicopter on the roof.
{67276}{67342}No, sir. No !
{67344}{67389}You're here till tomorrow.
{67427}{67478}You said the last shuttle|leaves at 2200 hours.
{67481}{67526}That's 10:00, right ?
{67529}{67586}Last I heard, yeah.
{67588}{67641}It's only 8:30.
{67644}{67701}I lied. Leaves at 9:00.
{67704}{67819}- It leaves at 9:00 ?|- Calm down. Calm down.
{67853}{67935}Ahh ! The truth is, Charlie,
{67972}{68087}- I need a guide dog|to help me execute my plan.|- What plan ?
{68117}{68180}You have a right to know.
{68220}{68298}It's not really a plan, Charlie.|It's sort of a --
{68300}{68361}more like a tour,
{68364}{68434}a little tour of pleasures:
{68436}{68545}stay in a first-class hotel,|eat an agreeable meal,
{68548}{68622}drink a nice glass of wine,
{68624}{68677}see my big brother.
{68679}{68742}Nothing like family,|you know.
{68744}{68840}And then, make love|to a terrific woman.
{68884}{68947}After that...
{69054}{69099}Yeah ?
{69162}{69269}I'm gonna lie down on my big,|beautiful bed at the Waldorf...
{69272}{69336}and blow my brains out.
{69405}{69479}- May I tell you our specials ?|- You may, sir.
{69482}{69597}Tonight we have charred venison with|buckwheat spaetzle and green peppercorn.
{69600}{69686}Grilled veal, tomato tapenade,|and roasted eggplants.
{69689}{69734}Get me a napkin.|My mouth's watering.
{69737}{69862}If you like our souffle for dessert,|it would be good to order it now.
{69865}{69936}Yes, on the souffle. Give us|a half a minute on the rest.
{69938}{70004}Very good, sir.
{70080}{70170}- I'm leaning towards the spaetzle.|- Colonel Slade --
{70172}{70242}Charlie, rolls on the table ?|Give 'em to me.
{70244}{70291}You should|try these rolls.
{70294}{70378}I used to dream about them|when I was at Fort Huachuca.
{70380}{70452}- Colonel Slade --|- Bread's no good west of the Colorado.
{70454}{70559}- Water's too alkaline.|- Colonel Slade, did you say --
{70562}{70648}Did I hear you right ?
{70651}{70694}Y-You said you're gonna|kill yourself ?
{70696}{70821}No, I said I was gonna|blow my brains out.
{70823}{70907}Try one of these rolls, Charlie.|I buttered it for ya.
{70909}{70964}I don't want a roll,|all right ?
{70966}{71011}Okay. Have a radish !
{71013}{71087}Hah !
{71090}{71199}Hello ! Bring me a double|Jack Daniels on the rocks.
{71202}{71247}Yes, sir.|Right away.
{71352}{71413}Please, don't do that.
{71416}{71471}Don't do that.
{71609}{71664}Hmm.
{71716}{71765}What a marvelous place !
{71853}{71900}Okay.
{71972}{72017}Yeah.
{72049}{72098}Your billet is here.
{72100}{72199}You'll find bedding|in the closet on the shelf.
{72201}{72314}In the morning, the area will be|returned to sitting-room mode...
{72317}{72395}no later than|0700 hours.
{72436}{72508}What was that ?
{72565}{72622}Nothing.
{72624}{72718}Next time...|snap it out !
{72750}{72880}Thumb to palm, index finger|through little digit, smartly aligned,
{72882}{72943}sharp to the hairline,|down !
{73056}{73111}Too many men,|far better than you,
{73114}{73178}have executed|that courtesy.
{73180}{73266}And if you're smart,|you won't try it again.
{73349}{73470}This bat has got sharper radar|than the Nautilus.
{73472}{73531}Don't fuck with me,|Charlie.
{73783}{73842}See you get|a good night's sleep, son.
{74144}{74207}It's a lovely day today
{74209}{74280}So, whatever you gotta do
{74282}{74352}You got a lovely day|to do it in that's true
{74504}{74551}Good morning, Charlie.
{74620}{74706}- Good morning.|- This is Sofia, Charlie.
{74708}{74767}She's a magician|with a needle.
{74770}{74842}Sofia's workin' me up|a little "Glen Plaid" number,
{74844}{74907}and I've asked her if she'd|put something together for you.
{74909}{74995}- Uh, I don't need any clothes, Colonel.|- Standard issue...
{74997}{75058}for an upscale|urban assignment.
{75061}{75125}You don't like the clothes,|Charlie, on completion of duty,
{75127}{75178}you can give 'em away.
{75181}{75261}Juice, coffee, and other assorted|goodies on the trolley over there.
{75263}{75316}Get yourself up,|get yourself together !
{75318}{75402}It's a great day|for singin' a song
{75404}{75496}And it's a great day|for movin' along
{75499}{75560}And it's a great day|from morning to night
{75562}{75646}And it's a great day
{75648}{75724}For everybody's plight
{75830}{75881}How are you feeling|today, Colonel ?
{75884}{75962}Super !|Superior !
{75964}{76031}Superfluous !
{76033}{76084}Young Sofie here|is working Thanksgiving...
{76086}{76139}because she's trying to|put herself through college.
{76141}{76225}I told her, "My young friend|Charlie's headed for college."
{76227}{76290}- Uh, excuse me.|- Where you goin' ?
{76292}{76378}- I-l need to use the phone.|- What's wrong with the phones in here ?
{76380}{76441}I don't want|to disturb you.
{76444}{76491}You're not disturbing me.|Make your call.
{76494}{76545}I'd kinda like|to be private.
{76548}{76589}Stay outta my room !
{76621}{76662}This is as private|as you're gonna get.
{76750}{76863}But if you've got somethin'|that must be done
{76865}{76964}And it can only be done by one
{76989}{77055}Sofia...
{77057}{77141}what are the chances|of suitin' you up sometime ?
{77144}{77214}- Sugarbush Lodge.|- George Willis, please.
{77286}{77368}- Hello !|- George ! Hey, it's Charlie.
{77370}{77446}Hey, Chas. Next year you gotta|come up with us.
{77448}{77569}White powder on|a base of snow bunnies.
{77571}{77634}Chas,|are you there ?
{77636}{77689}Yeah, I'm here.|Um --
{77691}{77765}- you told me to call you for the moves.|- All right.
{77768}{77834}For now, the move's|no move: status quo.
{77836}{77881}Everything's|the way we left it.
{77884}{77945}How did we leave it ?
{77948}{78036}See no evil,|hear no evil.
{78038}{78122}You know|what I mean, Chas ?
{78125}{78194}Yeah. See no evil,|hear no evil.
{78248}{78373}- Okay, then, walk like you talk !|- All right, good-bye.
{78376}{78495}- George Willis, huh ?|- Yeah.
{78498}{78543}George Willis.
{78546}{78640}That makes his father probably|George Willis, Senior.
{78642}{78687}Charlie, I ask ya,
{78690}{78782}what do you think Big George|is gonna feel about Little George...
{78785}{78859}seeing no evil,|hearing no evil ?
{78920}{78971}Well, we're not gonna|tell our parents.
{78973}{79042}We're just gonna keep it|between ourselves.
{79044}{79144}Oh, George isn't gonna tell|his father about this thing !
{79146}{79214}Damn decent of him.|Ooh ! Aw ! Hah !
{79216}{79271}- Scusi.|- Prego.
{79273}{79330}I love it|when you hurt me.
{79332}{79391}Uh, tell me now,|Charlie.
{79393}{79487}This, uh, George Willis, Junior,|what's his father do ?
{79490}{79539}I don't really know.
{79541}{79602}Well, I'm gonna tell ya.
{79604}{79717}When George Willis, Sr., isn't busy as a|million-dollar man for Aetna Casualty --
{79720}{79802}or is it New England Distributor|for the Chrysler Corporation ?
{79804}{79900}He concerns himself with his young son,|George Willis, Junior.
{79902}{79982}George isn't going|to say anything to his father.
{79984}{80037}Oh, Charlie.
{80040}{80091}Big George is gonna|wind up Little George,
{80094}{80168}and Little George is gonna sing|like a canary.
{80171}{80230}And if you're hip, kid,|you're gonna hop to, too.
{80233}{80282}You've got this|all figured out, don't you ?
{80285}{80390}It don't take no Young America merit|scholarship to figure this one out.
{80392}{80484}Charlie, you had a little life,|so you decided to go to Baird...
{80487}{80559}to put yourself in the market|for a big one.
{80562}{80609}Now, in order to stay|in the running,
{80611}{80679}you're gonna have to tell these people|what they want to know.
{80681}{80734}You think so ?
{80736}{80781}- Are we finished, Sofia ?|- Yes.
{80784}{80852}Grazie. Grazie.
{80896}{80957}Charlie,
{80959}{81027}if you don't sing now,
{81029}{81107}you're gonna end up,|not only shelving biscuits...
{81110}{81182}in some convenience store|in the Oregon burbs,
{81184}{81284}probably the last word you'll ever hear|yourself say just before you croak...
{81286}{81382}gonna be, "Have a nice day|and come back soon."
{81384}{81435}Sofia !
{81437}{81531}Measure up Charlie, pronto.|We got a date for Thanksgiving.
{81534}{81581}We got a date ?
{81584}{81635}My brother's place.
{81638}{81704}W.R. Slade,|White Plains, New York.
{81706}{81788}Colonel, I can't go with you|to your brother's place.
{81791}{81858}I mean, I should be|getting back to school.
{81915}{82022}Uh, well you gotta have|Thanksgiving somewhere.
{82024}{82114}I mean, eats and treats.|I could use the company.
{82201}{82271}All right.|D-Does he know I'm comin' ?
{82273}{82343}He doesn't know I'm comin'. But wait|till you see the look on his face...
{82345}{82390}when I walk through|the door.
{82393}{82432}Oh, he loves me !
{82489}{82581}Oh, uh, Charlie,|about your little problem,
{82584}{82643}there are two kinds of people|in this world:
{82646}{82703}those who stand up|and face the music,
{82706}{82751}and those who|run for cover.
{82754}{82840}Cover's better.|Okay, Sofia, suit 'im up !
{82842}{82905}Make him pretty !
{83241}{83290}Careful.
{83313}{83383}- Should I ring it ?|- Yeah.
{83539}{83588}Yes ?
{83590}{83649}Yes !|Who is this ?
{83651}{83754}- It's Randy.|- Randy ? You new ?
{83757}{83808}I'm your nephew.
{83811}{83875}Hah !|Here I am !
{83877}{83914}Your sister's been|hoarding me long enough.
{83915}{84024}- Thought it's time to spread|the riches around.|- Uncle Frank !
{84027}{84072}- Gloria !|- Gail.
{84075}{84120}Of course.
{84123}{84207}Say hello to the potluck|party from New York City.
{84209}{84281}Good old Uncle Frank and this here|with him is Charlie Simms,
{84283}{84338}star halfback of the|Baird football team.
{84340}{84441}They not only beat Exeter and Groton,|but Aquinas High School too.
{84443}{84504}Where's your|miserable father ?
{84506}{84565}Wait ! No, no.|Let's surprise him.
{84568}{84642}Give that fat heart|of his an attack. Willie !
{84697}{84766}Oh, Willie !
{85014}{85061}Hello, Frank.
{85063}{85145}- How you doin' ?|- Okay.
{85147}{85260}Here's my hand.|Charlie, meet W.R. Slade.
{85263}{85312}Nice to meet you, sir.
{85315}{85384}The original bulging|briefcase man.
{85386}{85491}Gretchen, I smell those prunes !|We talkin' Turkey Marbella ?
{85493}{85559}- Yes, we are.|- Whoo !
{85561}{85625}Let's have a whiff.|Come on.
{85627}{85672}You know, I always had a sneaker|for you. Come here.
{85675}{85726}Mmm.
{85729}{85774}Hah !
{85777}{85878}- Where are you, Garry ?|I heard you cough.|- Who are you again ?
{85880}{85991}I'm just here at the Waldorf-Astoria|with -- Is it your brother ?
{85993}{86050}W.R.'s final issue.|How ya doin' ?
{86053}{86174}- Yes. Who the hell are you ?|- I'm kinda takin' care|of him for the weekend.
{86177}{86203}Charlie !
{86206}{86257}Jesus !
{86260}{86369}Sorry. Where's the booze ?|Flowin' like mud here.
{86371}{86473}To tell the truth, the colonel's|not well, I don't think.
{86475}{86549}- Not well ?|- I think he's a little lonely.
{86551}{86620}Why didn't you take him|to your family's for dinner ?
{86622}{86685}I heard that !
{86687}{86744}I heard that.
{86746}{86809}Pay no attention to him.|That's his big-brother talk.
{86811}{86874}He's been watching out for me|since day one.
{86876}{86985}Bailed me out of more trouble...|than he'd like to remember.
{86987}{87046}- Hmm ?|- Let me take your coat.
{87049}{87156}I meant to pick up some vino|on my way, but I blew it.
{87158}{87217}I'll send you the Rothschild|again for Christmas,
{87219}{87313}- only let's see how Thanksgiving goes.|- I'll set two more places.
{87315}{87393}- Here's your drink, Frank.|- Thank you, Randy.
{87396}{87457}Still with|Snow Queen sugar ?
{87460}{87552}Snow Flake. Why do you|always get that wrong ?
{87554}{87632}Because it's not important for me to|get it right. What are you doing there ?
{87635}{87713}I'm Vice President|for Marketing.
{87715}{87809}Whoo-ah ! Congratulations !|Sugar is shit, though.
{87811}{87893}I told General Abrams to install|honey in the commissaries.
{87895}{87975}If the K-50s didn't blow your brains|out, sugar, sure as shit, was gonna.
{88013}{88068}- Why don't we all sit down ?|- Ooh !
{88071}{88165}Mitsouki. Rhymes with nookie.|Be careful.
{88167}{88261}- When the wife gets restless,|the wife gets racy.|- Let's go and eat.
{88263}{88380}By all means.|Thank you, Charlie.
{88383}{88483}Where you wanna sit, Frank, or you gonna|arrange yourself at the head again ?
{88485}{88587}Any old card table|will do. This is fine.
{88589}{88665}Where was I ? Oh !
{88668}{88748}I wake up. It's four in the morning.|I don't know who I'm with,
{88751}{88804}why I'm there|and where I am.
{88807}{88877}What am I gonna do ?|I got this Asian flower,
{88879}{88986}all giggly and dewy-like;
{88989}{89081}and this hard-boiled|navy nurse outta Omaha, on the other.
{89083}{89186}We're three across the bed,|not a stitch of clothes on.
{89188}{89245}It comes to me.
{89247}{89356}Let east meet west.|We'll build a golden bridge.
{89359}{89400}Hah-hah !
{89403}{89467}I felt like I'd just joined|the corps of engineers !
{89583}{89648}We all still here ?
{89650}{89730}It's a beautiful story.
{89785}{89894}- Do you always enjoy|shocking people, Uncle Frank ?|- Honey.
{89897}{89952}I didn't know you were|so easily shocked.
{89954}{90015}I admire your sensibilities.|I'm touched.
{90017}{90089}Dad, remember the time|you persuaded Frank...
{90091}{90171}- to go to the kennel ?|- What about it ?
{90174}{90252}- He almost put the seeing eye|dog business outta business.|- Cool it, Randy.
{90255}{90355}- It's over and done with.|- Indeed it is, Garry.
{90357}{90412}Indeed it is.|So is dinner.
{90415}{90489}Charlie, what time do you have ?|I think we better be gettin' back.
{90491}{90608}- You ever given any thought|to a braille watch, Frank ?|- Randy.
{90611}{90705}- Stevie Wonder wears one,|or do you rank on him too ?|- Honey, please.
{90707}{90762}It's all right, Gloria.|I enjoy Randy's observations.
{90764}{90858}My wife's name is Gail, Frank.|Can you hear that ? Gail.
{90861}{90920}Excuse me.|Gail.
{90922}{91012}Gail strikes me as|a very beautiful woman,
{91014}{91075}but there's a|little tension in her voice.
{91078}{91145}It could be one|of two things:
{91147}{91204}either Gail is nervous|or unsatisfied.
{91206}{91296}What's your point,|Uncle Frank ?
{91299}{91354}You oughta go down|on her.
{91357}{91408}Cut it out, Frank,|will ya ?
{91410}{91490}You're so wrapped up in sugar, you've|forgotten the taste of real honey !
{91492}{91537}Frank,|for God's sake !
{91539}{91600}Hear that voice ?|There's fire under that dress.
{91603}{91652}- Will you cut it out ?|- Just get the fuck outta here.
{91655}{91712}- Whoo-ah !|- Get in your limousine.
{91715}{91791}Go down to the bowery, get with the|other fucking drunks where you belong !
{91794}{91845}- Wait a minute.|- What ?
{91847}{91918}- Could you take it easy ?|- What for ?
{91920}{91979}You want me to lay off him,|Chuckie, 'cause he's blind ?
{91982}{92053}- No, but I mean --|- My friend's name is Charles.
{92055}{92114}He doesn't like|to be called Chuckie.
{92116}{92204}- This is supposed to be a family|get-together. This is --|- A warning.
{92206}{92305}Jesus Christ. Another sucker who thinks|this shitheel's a war hero.
{92307}{92377}Whoo-ah.
{92411}{92487}Well, once... maybe.
{92490}{92584}I suppose he told you about his days|on Lyndon Johnson's staff ?
{92586}{92647}I was gonna go.|Now I'm not leaving.
{92650}{92738}- Frank was earmarked for general.|- Earmarked, good word.
{92741}{92841}- But Frank likes to spit|in everybody's eye !|- Randy, that's enough.
{92843}{92948}So -- What do they call it when they|give you the shaft in the military ?
{92950}{93057}- Passed over !|- Frank was passed over for promotion.
{93059}{93116}Couple times.
{93191}{93265}- You want to know what happened then ?|- Will you shut your mouth ?
{93267}{93357}- He blew himself up.|- Stop it, Randy.
{93359}{93464}Our colonel, here, had a grenade|juggling act at Fort Bragg or wherever.
{93467}{93547}- Fort Benning.|- He was teaching hand-to-hand combat --
{93549}{93635}Randy, look at me when|you're talking to me, son.
{93638}{93745}I'm lookin', Frank.|His partner in the act was some captain.
{93747}{93811}- Major Vincent Squires.|- Yeah, whoever he was.
{93813}{93897}Before going on, they'd have themselves|a lo-cal breakfast:
{93899}{93944}a Screwdriver for Frank,|Bloody Mary for his partner.
{93947}{93990}No, Vincent drank|Sea Breezes.
{93993}{94128}Judge Advocate at Benning said Col.|Slade had four to his partner's one.
{94130}{94189}He's flying in class.|He gets all excited.
{94191}{94255}He starts pulling|the pins out.
{94303}{94364}One grenade|got away from him.
{94367}{94439}Boom.
{94479}{94524}The one that got away.
{94527}{94621}Oh, the pin was in...|Frank claims.
{94623}{94668}In or out, what|difference does it make ?
{94671}{94724}What kind of fucking lunatic|juggles grenades ?
{94726}{94785}Vinnie came out okay.
{94787}{94848}And all Frank lost|was his eyesight.
{94927}{95009}- Wanna know the truth ?|- You got a handle on that,|do you, Randy ?
{95012}{95084}- He was an asshole before.|- Whoo-ah !
{95087}{95179}Now all he is|is a blind asshole.
{95181}{95230}Whoo-ah.
{95386}{95458}Hey, God's a funny guy.
{95460}{95581}God doth have|a sense of humor.
{95583}{95702}Maybe God thinks some|people don't deserve to see.
{95705}{95789}Whoo-ah. Hah !
{95847}{95892}You get the point...|Chuckie ?
{95997}{96054}- Aah !|- His name is Charles.
{96082}{96133}You can say that,|can't you ? Charles.
{96135}{96236}Know what this is, Randy ? It's a choke|hold I'm teaching those lieutenants.
{96238}{96341}- Little pressure, I bust your windpipe.|- I don't care what he said.
{96343}{96423}- Charles.|- Just let go, please !
{96903}{96969}Gretchen ?
{96971}{97047}You outdid yourself.
{97050}{97119}If you twist my arm|hard enough,
{97121}{97192}we're talking|Turkey Marbella next year.
{97194}{97249}Who knows ?
{97344}{97393}Frank ?
{97395}{97481}Good-bye, Willie.
{97594}{97690}I'm no fucking good...
{97692}{97758}and I never have been.
{97883}{97963}Come on, Charlie,|get the coats.
{98098}{98190}Come on.|Watch your step.
{98212}{98284}Hold it.
{98582}{98681}Nueva York, compadre.|Vamos !
{99739}{99788}You got a watch ?
{99863}{99916}Ah, it's 7:20.
{99919}{100013}I didn't ask you the time.|I asked if you had a watch.
{100015}{100064}Yeah, in the other room.
{100067}{100130}Get it.
{100187}{100253}Colonel, there's a clock|right next to your bed.
{100295}{100354}Does it have|a second hand ?
{100478}{100525}Yeah.
{100527}{100582}Time me !
{101218}{101267}How long ?
{101303}{101389}Um... about|30 seconds.
{101391}{101491}- I'm rusty.|- Where did you get a gun, Colonel ?
{101493}{101562}Piece or weapon, Charlie,|never a gun.
{101631}{101688}Where did you get|the piece ?
{101690}{101797}I'm an officer in the|United States Army. This is my sidearm.
{101799}{101902}- But you're not an officer anymore.|- So I'm retired, so what ?
{101904}{101984}An officer never|relinquishes his 45.
{101986}{102080}Yeah, but you better relinquish it to me|or I'm gonna call Mrs. Rossi.
{102082}{102121}Good idea.
{102124}{102185}Then I'm going back|to school.
{102187}{102251}Even better.|Blue skies, green lights.
{102253}{102339}I hope you have a wonderful trip.|That felt like 25.
{102341}{102407}You oughta be able to do a 45 in 25.|Did you time me ?
{102409}{102485}No, I did not|and I'm calling Albany.
{102658}{102730}That was stupid.
{102732}{102820}Was it ?
{102822}{102888}You're stuck with me,|Charlie.
{102890}{102943}No, I'm not.
{102946}{103003}- I'm outta here !|- Where you goin' ? New Hampshire ?
{103005}{103097}You got no money.|How you gonna do that ?
{103099}{103164}Mmm.
{103166}{103260}Karen's number|tastes like Albany. Hah !
{103263}{103316}Fine.
{103319}{103395}- I'm leaving.|- Charlie ? Charlie !
{103701}{103808}All I want from you...|is another day.
{103810}{103867}For what ?
{103919}{104017}One last tour|of the battlefield.
{104080}{104162}I can get around a city|like New York,
{104165}{104210}but l...
{104213}{104305}sometimes need a point|in the right direction.
{104358}{104405}What do you say,|Charlie ?
{104407}{104483}What's one day...|between friends ?
{104574}{104645}All right. Well, say|I stay for another day.
{104647}{104700}Will you give me|your weapon ?
{104702}{104800}Oh, Charlie ! I'm a lieutenant colonel,|United States Army.
{104802}{104859}I'm not giving my|fucking gun to anyone.
{104862}{104971}- Now, what are you drinkin' ?|- Colonel, this -- this is unacceptable.
{104974}{105089}Unacceptable ? What are you givin' me|that prep school crap for ?
{105091}{105175}What have they done,|taken the Oregon out of the boy ?
{105177}{105224}Put in Harvard|Business School ?
{105227}{105290}Then give me|your bullets.
{105447}{105558}You do see the sense of it,|Charlie, don't you ?
{105595}{105673}I can't chew|the leather anymore.
{105675}{105738}So, why|should I share...
{105740}{105842}the tribe's provisions ?
{105844}{105903}I mean,|there's no one...
{105905}{105999}wants to tear a herring|with me anymore.
{106013}{106064}The bullets, Colonel.
{106067}{106116}"The bullets, Colonel."
{106119}{106183}You sound like a guy in|"Lives of a Bengal Lancer."
{106657}{106708}What do you|give a shit for ?
{106711}{106768}About what ?
{106771}{106822}About what ?
{106824}{106921}About whether I blow|my brains out or not.
{107012}{107111}- Because I have a conscience, you know.|- You have a conscience.
{107113}{107179}I forgot.
{107217}{107282}The Charlie Conscience.
{107312}{107409}Do we tell ?|Do we not tell ?
{107411}{107499}Do we follow the|rich boy's code or not ?
{107501}{107573}Do we let this|blind asshole...
{107576}{107640}die... or not ?
{107642}{107678}Yeah.
{107680}{107731}Conscience, Charlie.
{107733}{107790}When were you born, son ?
{107793}{107887}Around the time|of the Round Table ? Hah.
{107890}{107941}Haven't you heard ?
{107943}{108019}Conscience is dead.
{108021}{108085}No, I haven't heard.
{108087}{108173}Well, then, take the|fucking wax outta your ears !
{108231}{108272}Grow up !
{108534}{108583}It's fuck your buddy.
{108611}{108658}Cheat on your wife.
{108731}{108794}Call your mother|on Mother's Day.
{108844}{108947}Charlie,|it's all shit.
{109214}{109252}Where you goin' ?
{109264}{109325}I got piss call.
{109337}{109433}I know I said I need ya|for just one day,
{109435}{109494}but even I can't hold it|that long.
{109548}{109605}Oh, and, Charlie,
{109608}{109671}you forgot the one|in the chamber.
{109807}{109852}Hah !
{109855}{109912}There you go,|sir.
{109915}{109958}Thank you.
{110037}{110113}Twenty-six years|in the service,
{110115}{110168}never let an aide|shine my shoes.
{110171}{110255}Where you gonna be|in 26 years, Charlie ?
{110258}{110350}Playing golf with your friends|from the Baird School, I bet.
{110406}{110476}I don't even like|those guys.
{110478}{110554}Course you don't.|They're all assholes.
{110557}{110629}Be a pleasure to squeal|on 'em, wouldn't it ?
{110631}{110736}- Yeah, well, I'm not a squealer.|- "l'm not a squealer."
{110739}{110790}What is this,|the Dreyfus case ?
{110897}{110948}Ohh ! Ooh, Mama !
{110951}{111004}There you go.
{111007}{111077}- Thank you.|- Thank you.
{111079}{111126}Watch your step.
{111195}{111277}I'm gettin' that|heavy feelin' again, Charlie.
{111342}{111436}There's more to this,|isn't there ?
{111439}{111490}Isn't there ?