{705}{759}Howdy there, Mr. Lee.
{763}{817}What's this? Filipino New Year's?
{831}{869}No. Why you say that?
{871}{915}'Cause you're cooking a feast.
{917}{977}I can smell it from the interstate.
{985}{1039}What is that? Barbecue?
{1044}{1104}Yeah. But it not coming from here.
{1125}{1164}What is that noise?
{6232}{6294}What is your take on this, Jerry?
{6307}{6367}The people will love it, Mr. President.
{6375}{6485}Our conflict is whether we ambush|the 6:00 news or hold out for prime time.
{6489}{6545}Screw the press.|This is a need-to-know situation.
{6547}{6643}We should make it top secret,|and should move in with Defcon Four.
{6648}{6693}We can't sit on this.
{6733}{6792}General Casey, do you have an opinion?
{6825}{6855}Well, sir...
{6859}{6895}...do we know they are hostile?
{6897}{6943}What do you mean?
{6953}{7015}They have the planet surrounded|by thousands of warships!
{7017}{7063}Do we know they're warships?
{7147}{7221}Professor, what do we know about them?
{7261}{7313}They're very advanced technologically.
{7315}{7393}Which suggests, rightfully so,|that they're peaceful.
{7407}{7512}An advanced civilization is,|by definition, not barbaric.
{7515}{7551}Mr. President...
{7560}{7597}...this is a great day.
{7599}{7647}I and all my colleagues...
{7651}{7693}...are extremely excited.
{7704}{7726}Good.
{7755}{7812}Extraterrestrial life.
{7839}{7879}You're right, Jerry.
{7884}{7944}The people are going to love it.
{7947}{8004}This is a momentous occasion.
{8025}{8045}Mr. President--
{8047}{8091}We'll go all media on this.
{8095}{8137}I'll wear my Cerruti suit.
{8141}{8181}I'll need a good speech.
{8205}{8239}Statesman-like...
{8247}{8288}...historical and yet...
{8293}{8341}...warm, neighborly.
{8345}{8436}Abraham Lincoln meets|Leave it to Beaver, kind of thing.
{8472}{8511}Are they too old-fashioned?
{8513}{8551}No, I don't think so.
{8557}{8640}This has got the colors but, no.|I don't think so.
{8643}{8676}Not vivid enough.
{8681}{8729}Nancy had this in the library.
{8733}{8751}Yes, indeed.
{8753}{8783}I don't think so.
{8785}{8866}I thought perhaps the watered silk.|This week it's on sale.
{8875}{8940}I hardly think I need worry about that.
{8943}{9007}My husband is the leader of the free world.
{9036}{9071}What do you think?
{9087}{9184}Why don't you leave the Roosevelt Room|the way the Roosevelts wanted it.
{9201}{9303}Because Eleanor Roosevelt was|too fond of chintz. That's why.
{9313}{9363}Mother, this isn't your house.
{9367}{9441}lf you're going to be a pest, I'll ignore you!
{9447}{9474}Mrs. Dale?
{10012}{10076}I saw you fight Sonny Liston in '69.
{10080}{10106}Really?
{10110}{10162}You were a nun back then?
{10166}{10242}We've always been fight fans,|haven't we sisters?
{10250}{10304}Byron Williams, telephone.
{10308}{10334}I must go.
{10338}{10398}You ladies have a nice time.
{10533}{10565}Oh, Louise.
{10578}{10630}Sorry to call you at work, but...
{10642}{10742}...the boys haven't been home|in two nights. I don't know what to do.
{10746}{10796}You're doing the best you can.
{10802}{10844}They're just at that age.
{10894}{10977}The casino manager's giving me|the evil eye. I've gotta go.
{10980}{11022}I'll call you later, okay?
{11042}{11118}Are you still cool on me|coming to Washington?
{11122}{11162}'Course I am.
{11174}{11236}You take care, okay? Bye.
{11618}{11662}Must you drink in front of me?
{11664}{11714}You're an adult. Just cope.
{11718}{11794}It doesn't help me|that all we ever do is sit in bars.
{11798}{11842}This is work, baby, okay?
{11846}{11934}I'm checking the decor,|the lighting, the traffic flow.
{11938}{12010}lf I'd known you'd turn into a crook,|I wouldn't have married you.
{12012}{12058}I'm not a crook.
{12062}{12114}I'm ambitious. There's a difference.
{12116}{12182}lf you think you can make|a nickel in this town...
{12184}{12274}...without knowing how to dally|around a few curves, well...
{12282}{12346}...you know nothing|of the gambling industry.
{12382}{12480}The Galaxy's going to be|the best hotel in Vegas.
{12484}{12524}The best!
{12529}{12550}I promise.
{12552}{12614}But don't you realize what you're doing?|You're destroying the Earth!
{12616}{12686}All this greed! This money system!
{12690}{12742}You're destroying everything!
{12760}{12806}Okay, Barbara, okay.
{12814}{12864}Keep your voice down.
{12882}{12930}I got friends here.
{12962}{12985}Sugar!
{12994}{13028}Hit me one more time.
{13030}{13064}Stop flirting with the waitress.
{13066}{13098}God. Here.
{13136}{13178}Go over to the roulette...
{13216}{13258}...play our anniversary...
{13260}{13310}...and stay off of black.
{13386}{13406}Thanks.
{13611}{13675}Make it quick,|we go out live in ten minutes.
{13695}{13752}What? The actual president?
{13757}{13785}Cutting in?
{13887}{13963}Budget negotiations may be dead|in the water after this week.
{13965}{14004}Hair looks good.
{14037}{14063}I like the hair.
{14065}{14117}...quote, ''factually-challenged. ''
{14137}{14179}Yeah, Stone. Speak.
{14183}{14219}Jason, hi, it's me.
{14247}{14282}You wearing a bra?
{14293}{14384}Listen, this is big. President Dale|is cutting into my show today.
{14423}{14492}That's absurd. Why would he stoop|to being on ''Today in Fashion''?
{14494}{14529}He's interrupting everybody.
{14531}{14613}I don't know, it's some sort of|an emergency announcement.
{14617}{14682}This doesn't make sense.|He should talk to us.
{14707}{14756}White House is coming out live.
{14779}{14847}Good evening, my fellow Americans.
{14855}{14943}I apologize for interrupting|your regular programs...
{14947}{15019}...but I have a very important|announcement to make.
{15031}{15105}Many important things have happened|to me in my life:
{15117}{15171}My graduation from Princeton...
{15183}{15267}...the day that Marsha said|she would be my wife...
{15271}{15325}...the birth of our daughter Taffy.
{15329}{15353}Thanks, Dad.
{15355}{15467}And the news that I have heard today|ranks right up there.
{15473}{15527}A powerful memory is in the making.
{15543}{15585}Not just for me...
{15589}{15633}...but for all mankind.
{15640}{15664}Today...
{15665}{15751}...an extraordinary discovery|was made by the Hubble telescope.
{15802}{15872}The data from the Hubble was decoded...
{15892}{16003}...then analyzed by the most|powerful computers at MIT.
{16018}{16072}The images are undeniable.
{16084}{16160}We are entering the dawn of a new era.
{16188}{16280}Frame enlargements provide|an astonishing sight.
{16286}{16396}A fleet of vehicles,|which can best be described as...
{16402}{16440}...flying saucers.
{16444}{16520}Come on! Come on!|Papa needs a new pair of shoes!
{16592}{16656}Hey, am I the only one|shooting craps here?
{16660}{16749}We hope we will have the chance|to meet with them.
{16753}{16819}This is the perfect summation|to the 20th Century....
{16821}{16855}Martians.
{16869}{16915}This is great.
{16925}{16991}Please, come to Earth. Please.
{17007}{17039}We need you.
{17139}{17189}I got people coming in!
{17193}{17261}Everybody wants to be part of this.
{17263}{17331}Galaxy's going to be world class.
{17357}{17389}And soon...
{17393}{17465}...we will become one solar system.
{17477}{17509}What the hell's he talking about?
{17511}{17573}These flying saucers|have come from Mars...
{17615}{17677}...and at their current course and speed...
{17685}{17725}...will enter Earth's orbit in 16 hours.
{17727}{17821}I've been thinking about Martians|when there weren't any.
{17831}{17941}It is profoundly moving to know|there is intelligent life out there.
{17945}{17981}Glad it's somewhere.
{17983}{18075}Our world|will never feel quite the same again.
{18113}{18143}Good night...
{18167}{18212}...and God bless you all.
{18465}{18497}This...
{18519}{18557}...is intense.
{18621}{18671}Shut up, Poppy. Shut up.
{18697}{18729}Shut up!
{18745}{18774}Jason Stone.
{18843}{18873}It's for you.
{18917}{18977}Poppy, honey. No, sweetie.
{19017}{19069}That's right. Good girl.
{19163}{19202}I could be there at...
{19217}{19265}...I don't know, 11:00.
{19635}{19719}They want me to interview|the professor from the White House.
{19735}{19760}Kessler?
{19799}{19825}Donald Kessler?
{19827}{19876}Yeah, I think that was his name.
{19896}{19929}You know, the science guy.
{19931}{19975}This is nuts, this is....
{19983}{20029}We should have got that guy.
{20039}{20091}Your people are too slow.
{20123}{20153}Right, Poppy?
{20725}{20749}Finished!
{20751}{20795}One minute, 57 seconds.
{20831}{20885}-Didn't I tell you under two minutes?|-You did!
{20887}{20911}You did!
{20913}{20939}Hot damn.
{20957}{20990}Want a doughnut?
{20997}{21023}How old are they?
{21025}{21059}Fresh baked, Monday.
{21061}{21125}Richie, that's six days ago!
{21137}{21171}Give me a couple.
{21261}{21319}This Martian thing is pretty awesome.
{21323}{21413}Did one of you traitors see my Muffy?
{21417}{21459}Your brother's volunteering.
{21461}{21513}As soon as I get back to the base.
{21515}{21545}Volunteer for what?
{21547}{21583}Martian detail.
{21609}{21629}Cool.
{21631}{21717}lf any Martians come around here,|I'll kick their butts!
{22015}{22039}Jump!
{22268}{22328}Folks,|we must make an unscheduled stop!
{22409}{22437}It's Mama.
{22455}{22533}Why are you here?|lf you ain't home, why ain't you in class?
{22535}{22561}Class was cancelled.
{22563}{22597}It was not!
{22601}{22625}-Come here!|-Why?
{22627}{22670}I'm not going to hurt you.
{22681}{22711}Let go of him.
{22749}{22807}Okay. Now just come here.
{22815}{22845}Come here.
{22875}{22915}Think it's smart to cut school?
{22917}{22963}-What are you doing?|-Do you?
{22987}{23015}No, it's dumb.
{23017}{23061}You'll flunk! Go to jail!
{23065}{23109}Get on the bus!
{23113}{23139}Get on!
{23145}{23205}I'll be tripping on you. Get back there.
{23209}{23247}I don't want to hear anymore.
{23249}{23275}I hate school.
{23277}{23307}I heard that!
{23879}{23905}Hi, there.
{23907}{23935}Want a date?
{23939}{23973}How about it?
{23979}{24011}A date?
{24067}{24098}It sounds good.
{24151}{24195}The stress at work is...
{24203}{24241}...unbelievable.
{24372}{24414}May I speak to you in private?
{24416}{24483}No, I must watch the floor.|What do you want?
{24495}{24582}-I'm supporting a family back east.|-I thought you were divorced.
{24584}{24651}I am, but I still have to take care of them.
{24672}{24747}Things have been a little lean around here.
{24751}{24798}I was wondering if I could get a raise?
{24800}{24829}Out of the question.
{24831}{24908}I'm an asset to this hotel.|They like me around here.
{24912}{24952}You're a nice guy.
{24960}{25052}But I can get Leon Spinks|or Buster Douglas for the same money.
{25063}{25132}You better get moving.|You're on in five minutes.
{25352}{25412}This show's going to get a great rating.
{25431}{25462}It's all yours.
{25484}{25603}ln certain circumstances the proposition|that two and two equals five...
{25607}{25651}...is entirely legitimate.
{25692}{25726}Call me Nathalie.
{25736}{25803}And you, do please call me Donald.
{25836}{25872}I admire your show.
{25931}{25991}Really? You like my work?
{26000}{26047}Yes. Very much.
{26051}{26083}Why....
{26096}{26139}Thank you.
{26143}{26185}Coming out of commercial.
{26187}{26228}In five...four...
{26232}{26272}...three...two....
{26274}{26356}Welcome back.|We're with Professor Donald Kessler.
{26403}{26479}He's the chairman|of the American Academy...
{26483}{26540}...of Astronautics.
{26568}{26600}Professor...
{26607}{26688}...isn't it weird that we sent|a space probe to Mars...
{26692}{26742}...and we didn't even find anyone?
{26744}{26792}Well, not really...
{26796}{26825}...Nathalie.
{26836}{26892}We didn't get into the canals.
{26896}{26945}The Martian canals are canyons.
{26951}{27003}Some are over 100 miles deep.
{27008}{27124}The Martian civilization has clearly|developed under the planet's surface.
{27132}{27217}Their science and technology|must be absolutely mind-boggling.
{27236}{27258}So...
{27260}{27308}...what in your view, Donald...
{27324}{27350}...Kessler...
{27352}{27455}...Chairman, are some of the things|the Martians can teach us, Professor?
{27515}{27575}Quite a lot about Mars, Nathalie.
{27663}{27694}She's flirting.
{27700}{27780}But seriously,|this is tremendously exciting.
{27785}{27859}The knowledge, the new ideas:|it'll change everything.
{27869}{27915}And we must be open to it.
{27919}{27981}Maybe they can tell us about our universe.
{27983}{28015}How it started.
{28019}{28055}Where it's going.
{28059}{28113}Perhaps even its purpose.
{28131}{28169}It's tremendously exciting.
{28171}{28235}It's the most important event since...
{28243}{28297}...Jesus walked in Galilee--
{28313}{28341}Christ.
{28345}{28385}What's wrong?
{28389}{28419}Go to Camera Two!
{28421}{28455}I can't. It's busted.
{28457}{28501}Go to One! Go to Four!
{28659}{28693}He copped a feel.
{28755}{28783}Now what?
{29105}{29134}What's that?
{29139}{29177}So that's a Martian.
{29255}{29289}That's a Martian?
{29379}{29415}Oh, my God!
{29419}{29442}Yikes!
{29505}{29562}I'm not having that thing in my house.
{29599}{29631}Sweetie...
{29635}{29703}...we may have to.|The people expect me to meet them.
{29705}{29767}They're not eating off the Van Buren china.
{29813}{29849}Look at that brain.
{29863}{29901}He must be real smart.
{29905}{29953}It's gross!
{29971}{30013}Don't forget, Nathalie...
{30017}{30079}...that we will look equally gross to him.
{30199}{30251}He made the international sign|of the doughnut.
{30265}{30369}From the limited information available,|I've made three extrapolations. One:
{30373}{30441}Our Martian friend|is a carbon-based life form.
{30445}{30497}Two: He breathes nitrogen.
{30501}{30527}And three:
{30529}{30601}The large cerebrum here, indicates...
{30613}{30659}...telepathic potential.
{30669}{30705}You mean they can...
{30707}{30745}...read our thoughts?
{30783}{30819}Potentially, yes.
{30823}{30875}What about their intentions?
{30879}{30919}Are they friendly people?
{30921}{31037}Logic dictates that given|their high level of technical development...
{31045}{31091}...they're an advanced culture.
{31093}{31161}Therefore, peaceful and enlightened.
{31181}{31237}The human race, on the other hand...
{31247}{31319}...is an aggressively dangerous species.
{31341}{31415}Now I suspect they have|more to fear from us...
{31419}{31457}...than we from them.
{31477}{31501}Doctor.
{31511}{31538}Thank you.
{31565}{31657}For many years,|I've been refining a translating computer.
{31679}{31749}The results are not perfect, but this...
{31753}{31809}...may answer some of your questions.
{31948}{31986}Green skin...
{32004}{32056}...800 centuries ago.
{32066}{32104}Their bodily fluids...
{32108}{32168}...include the birth of half-breeds.
{32178}{32215}How many centuries did he say?
{32217}{32241}Eight hundred, sir.
{32243}{32298}Self-determination of the cosmos.
{32322}{32384}For dark is the suede that...
{32388}{32416}...mows...
{32422}{32472}...like a harvest.
{32486}{32533}What the hell does that mean?
{32894}{32922}Hey, Mitch.
{32924}{32955}Good morning.
{32958}{33044}I'm sorry, you can't come this way.|There's a tour in progress.
{33260}{33303}Hello, my name is Barbara.
{33305}{33345}Hello, Barbara.
{33361}{33461}I am an alcoholic,|but I haven't had a drink in three months.
{33620}{33700}I'm feeling so optimistic|because of the Martians.
{33716}{33774}We're not alone in the universe.
{33782}{33830}And it's so perfect...
{33834}{33919}...that it's happening at the beginning|of the new millennium.
{33924}{33970}Our planet was suffering...
{33974}{34056}...with the ozone and the rain forest and...
{34094}{34170}...so many people unhappy in their lives.
{34188}{34216}And then...
{34232}{34318}...the Martians heard|our global karmic cry for help.
{34332}{34368}People say they're ugly...
{34370}{34436}...but I think they've come|to show us the way.
{34486}{34542}I think they've come to save us.
{34613}{34640}Thank you.
{34944}{34970}Bye-bye.
{34972}{35042}You be careful. Don't get yourself killed.
{35046}{35080}Ain't she cute?
{35084}{35142}-We're real proud of you.|-Thanks, Dad.
{35174}{35208}Let me take this.
{35244}{35340}So long, retard. Don't touch|any of my stuff while I'm gone.
{35390}{35424}Bye-bye, Grandma.
{35428}{35458}Good-bye, Thomas.
{35460}{35494}It's Billy-Glenn, Grandma.
{35496}{35534}I know, Thomas.
{35580}{35612}Bye-bye, honey.
{35648}{35684}I must go.
{36000}{36037}Take care of my boy.
{36304}{36332}He'll be all right.
{36334}{36361}I hope so.
{36363}{36402}Army trains them good.
{36532}{36570}He's gone for a while.
{36590}{36650}Why can't you be more like your brother?
{36654}{36756}We got lucky with Billy-Glenn.|You can't expect the same luck twice.
{36770}{36846}Richie, want to make yourself useful|for a change?
{36850}{36876}Sure, Dad.
{36878}{36926}Take Grandma back to the home.
{37262}{37345}I bet you never thought you'd live|to see the Martians come.
{37356}{37402}It's pretty far out.
{37452}{37540}But think of all the crazy things|you must have seen.
{37552}{37636}I bet people were pretty scared|when they invented the train.
{37650}{37716}Come on, kid, I'm not that old!
{37800}{37830}Are you okay?
{37870}{37908}I want to see Slim.
{37912}{37944}I want to see...
{37948}{37978}...Slim...
{37982}{38014}...and Muffy...
{38024}{38056}...and Richie.
{38128}{38165}Grandma, I'm Richie.
{38202}{38248}I know, Thomas.
{38256}{38318}Richie was always the best one.
{38413}{38492}Right now the president|is talking to other world leaders.
{38494}{38580}They're preparing a list of issues|of common interest to discuss.
{38582}{38688}There is a unilateral, concerted,|diplomatic effort being made.
{38748}{38766}Jason.
{38768}{38786}Thanks.
{38788}{38880}lf the Martians land,|can the press do interviews?
{38900}{38936}Well, that depends.
{38938}{38990}We must establish contact...
{38994}{39046}...work out communication problems...
{39048}{39080}...establish parameters.
{39082}{39140}Then I guess we just see what happens.
{39148}{39186}Here's the president.
{39242}{39274}Good morning.
{39278}{39334}It's nice to see you all again.
{39338}{39428}I just have a few minutes for questions,|so let's get started.
{39432}{39462}Mr. President!
{39532}{39608}Do the Martians have two sexes,|like we do?
{40038}{40068}From Hollywood...
{40070}{40154}...we bring you the ''Lawrence Welk Show''!
{40280}{40384}Here he is, Mr. Music Maker himself,|Lawrence Welk.
{40606}{40698}This pussycat|is the most beautiful pussycat...
{40702}{40756}...in the whole world.
{40760}{40800}That's my Muffy.
{40916}{40984}Didn't you ever have|a pussycat of your own?
{40988}{41018}Sure, Grandma.
{41024}{41066}Music!
{41192}{41222}There you go.
{41334}{41376}You going to be okay?
{41398}{41494}lf you need anything,|any doughnuts or anything, call me.
{42123}{42155}How do?
{42185}{42267}Looks like you ain't got no wheels.|Come on...
{42275}{42309}...get in.
{42421}{42473}I'm going to do you a favor.
{42477}{42503}I owe you one.
{42505}{42603}I made a ton of money|on your last fight in '73.
{42607}{42646}The Quaker in Jamaica.
{42665}{42703}I'm glad somebody did.
{42707}{42757}Yeah, I know, I know.
{42761}{42798}It's rough on jocks.
{42811}{42855}You get to a certain age...
{42860}{42904}...opportunities dry up.
{42929}{42971}So here's the deal.
{42975}{43075}I got this chum, owes me a lot of money,|needs a wake-up call.
{43077}{43131}What I'd like you to do is...
{43135}{43205}...use that patented left hook on him.
{43227}{43297}Just in the ring, Art. Just in the ring.
{43301}{43361}Yeah, I'm hip, I'm hip, but...
{43375}{43423}...I'll give you two grand.
{43449}{43487}When you're done...
{43491}{43589}...all you must do is mosey on|by the office and get the cash.
{43595}{43645}Why do you want to come at me that way?
{43647}{43703}I'm trying to get back with my wife.
{43707}{43765}We had problems with this kind of shit.
{43785}{43827}But I've changed, man.
{43833}{43859}I found Allah...
{43861}{43921}...I don't eat pork, I'm a better man.
{43947}{44021}I faced that demon|and I don't want him coming again.
{44075}{44123}You gave up pork!
{44296}{44342}They're sending coordinates.
{44485}{44511}Where are they landing?
{44513}{44566}Pahrump. It's in the Nevada desert.
{44568}{44644}I can have my troops there at 0800 hours,|sir.
{44649}{44737}We must not send these people|the wrong message.
{44741}{44792}We need a welcome mat, not tanks!
{44796}{44905}What are you talking about? You can't|have Martians running all over Nevada!
{44909}{44939}You're right.
{44941}{45010}-Thank you, sir.|-This situation needs to be supervised.
{45012}{45048}Absolutely, sir.
{45052}{45088}General Casey...
{45093}{45133}...can you handle it?
{45149}{45175}I'd be proud.
{45177}{45236}Good, but keep a lid on it.
{45240}{45309}Key media, good cross-section of guests.
{45329}{45396}We don't want it to turn|into a zoo out there.
{45620}{45682}They don't know what|they're talking about!
{45684}{45737}Liberals, intellectuals...
{45741}{45797}...peacemongers, idiots!
{45837}{45893}Would you please keep it down?
{45897}{45937}People live here!
{46514}{46544}General Casey.
{46581}{46657}Yes, I get to greet the Martian ambassador.
{46669}{46709}Isn't that great?
{46713}{46782}Oh, it's a hell of an honor.
{46793}{46902}Didn't I always tell you if I stayed|in place and never spoke up...
{46906}{46965}...good things were bound to happen?
{48573}{48658}I want the Martians to be treated|like foreign dignitaries.
{48662}{48725}I want your men alert and majestic...
{48729}{48789}...with a snap in their step.
{48818}{48882}This must look good.|The world is watching.
{48884}{48910}Yes, sir.
{49034}{49091}Are you positive this thing will work?
{49117}{49158}Positively positive.
{49162}{49200}We don't want any slip-ups.
{49202}{49253}No, no, no, no. Not at all.
{49769}{49836}Poppy. All these people.
{49856}{49913}All of them here to see you.
{49980}{50024}There's Jason, Poppy!
{50332}{50368}Okay, let's go.
{50421}{50502}The teeming masses have gathered|from who knows how many states...
{50504}{50548}...waiting and watching.
{50553}{50586}Why have they come?
{50588}{50645}Curiosity? Or is it something more?
{50653}{50718}Or simply to say, 'I was there'?
{50729}{50762}'I was there...
{50766}{50804}'...when first man...
{50806}{50842}'...met Martian.'
{50857}{50879}Jason Stone...
{50881}{50913}...GNN...
{50917}{50942}...Pahrump.
{51734}{51762}Some room.
{51766}{51809}Give them room.
{53053}{53106}It is an awesome sight.
{53110}{53181}The giant spacecraft glinting...
{53185}{53249}...in the Nevada sun like a...
{53265}{53297}...giant...
{53309}{53345}...hubcap.
{53385}{53425}Something's happening.
{53561}{53594}The doorway...
{53598}{53628}...is opening.
{53729}{53774}A silver ramp...
{53778}{53814}...is coming out...
{53837}{53881}...like a giant tongue.
{54458}{54498}Gee whiz.
{55177}{55209}Martians!
{55233}{55274}Funny little critters.
{56206}{56234}Well?
{56257}{56279}Wait.
{56369}{56396}Greetings.
{56401}{56461}I am the Martian ambassador.
{56521}{56585}Everything is fixed now. You may speak.
{56589}{56621}Greetings.
{56625}{56663}I am General Casey...
{56665}{56777}...Commanding Officer of the Armed|Forces of the United States of America.
{56786}{56849}On behalf of the people of Earth:
{56853}{56878}Welcome.
{56898}{56932}He did that well.
{57658}{57694}We come in peace.
{57714}{57766}We come in peace. We come in peace.
{57884}{57936}They came in peace.
{58012}{58052}We come in peace.
{58756}{58782}Open fire!
{59540}{59568}What?
{60758}{60818}Die, you alien shithead!
{60976}{61005}I surrender!
{61188}{61250}No, it ain't happening! It didn't happen!
{62613}{62665}Holy Mother of God!
{62681}{62716}Did you see that?
{62720}{62803}We should hit these assholes|with everything we've got, sir.
{62817}{62854}Sir, Mr. President,|I know this seems terrible...
{62856}{62903}...but let's not be too rash.
{62905}{62942}We should nuke them!
{62953}{63020}We must establish|a line of communication first.
{63036}{63077}Set up a town hall.
{63081}{63130}We'll get the public's opinion.
{63177}{63220}What do you think?
{63261}{63304}Kick the crap out of them.
{63340}{63379}Ladies and gentlemen...
{63381}{63442}...it may be a cultural misunderstanding.
{63460}{63508}Maybe to them, doves mean war.
{63554}{63626}We all saw how they reacted to that dove.
{63634}{63670}It frightened them.
{63680}{63732}He did say that...
{63780}{63832}...''We come in peace.''
{64068}{64118}The new computer's ready.
{64122}{64170}Okay, let's do it.
{64174}{64236}I know we're making the right decision.
{64308}{64344}Ready to transmit.
{64394}{64484}This is the president of the United States.
{64506}{64550}I'm speaking in the hope...
{64554}{64635}...that what happened earlier today|in the Nevada desert...
{64644}{64720}...was a cultural misunderstanding.
{64740}{64810}There can be no doubt|that we two peoples...
{64814}{64892}...have a great deal to offer one another.
{64896}{64944}You must be as excited as we...
{64948}{65025}...to find intelligent life in the solar system.
{65052}{65098}Let me make it clear.
{65102}{65142}You have nothing...
{65146}{65194}...to fear from us.
{65204}{65280}Our customs may be strange to you...
{65284}{65348}...but we mean no harm.
{67074}{67136}When the investors fly in...
{67148}{67212}...I would like for them each to be...
{67244}{67280}...met by a limo.
{67304}{67362}Top of the line cars...
{67376}{67432}...leather interiors...
{67446}{67504}...Corinthian, if they got it.
{67524}{67606}Are you still spinning your wheels|on that cockamamie hotel?
{67640}{67670}Hello!
{67686}{67734}The Martians have attacked!
{67738}{67836}This was no misunderstanding.|I was there. I saw it.
{67840}{67898}Look, you're worried about yesterday.
{67906}{67954}I'm worried about tomorrow.
{67958}{68044}The Martians land on Earth,|they'll need a place to stay.
{68048}{68089}Just like everyone else.
{68108}{68144}My God.
{68176}{68242}Maybe we should all be destroyed.
{68266}{68342}The human race doesn't deserve to live.
{68510}{68538}Ethel...
{68542}{68584}...that reminds me.
{68588}{68646}I'd like the limos to be stocked...
{68650}{68724}...with every kind of alcohol|known to man.
{68728}{68794}And top it off with a bottle of Dom...
{68798}{68834}...on ice.
{68858}{68936}What confounds me most of all|is the lack of genitalia.
{68940}{68986}Down here is the aorta.
{68990}{69050}Up here we have the sphinx.
{69058}{69134}Notice the highly developed|nerve system here.
{69138}{69222}This explains, of course,|the cerebral arteries.
{69226}{69314}And if we notice down here,|behind the optic chiasm...
{69332}{69382}...several glands....
{69472}{69516}Very curious.
{70538}{70648}''He who believes in me,|though he die, yet shall he live.
{70670}{70766}''And whoever lives and believes in me|shall never die.''
{70794}{70874}Billy-Glenn Norris gave his life|defending our country.
{70878}{70924}Why did it have to be him?
{70928}{71024}He's a true American hero.|May God rest his soul.
{71064}{71108}Ready! Aim.
{71146}{71170}Fire!
{71204}{71230}Aim!
{71238}{71264}Fire!
{71568}{71597}Hello?
{71601}{71682}Byron! Is everything all right?|You still coming tomorrow?
{71684}{71768}Just try and stop me.|That plane arrives at 4:00 p.m.
{71773}{71809}Are the kids there?
{71813}{71845}Yeah, hold on.
{71921}{71961}-Me first.|-No, me.
{72048}{72067}Hey, Dad.
{72069}{72117}Who's that? Neville?
{72133}{72157}How are you?
{72159}{72205}We're going to the White House.
{72207}{72245}The White House?
{72249}{72279}Yeah, tomorrow.
{72283}{72331}-Give it back!|-Leave me alone.
{72335}{72389}It's a school thing, like a tour.
{72393}{72463}So you're still going to school|once in a while?
{72499}{72533}Give me your ma again.
{72535}{72559}Hold on.
{72561}{72581}Mom.
{72587}{72653}-You always get to the phone first.|-So what?
{72669}{72707}I'm first to the game.
{72757}{72831}Why are you wasting this phone time?|I'll see you tomorrow.
{72833}{72895}But there's something|I want to say to you.
{72899}{72957}Just 'cause I feel like saying it.
{72963}{72992}What's that?
{73009}{73043}I love you.
{73087}{73131}I love you too, Byron.
{73135}{73209}Now stop wasting money!|I'll see you tomorrow!
{73629}{73665}They're responding.
{73745}{73793}A message from the Martians.
{73851}{73873}Really?
{73875}{73925}They've issued a formal apology.
{73971}{74021}This is great!
{74039}{74085}I told you this would happen.
{74089}{74189}The Martian ambassador feels terrible|and wants to speak to Congress.
{74193}{74231}That's good, isn't it?
{74235}{74271}You bet.
{74285}{74341}It's a victory for our administration.
{76129}{76167}Ladies and gentlemen.
{76171}{76245}This is a proud day for all Americans.
{76259}{76337}This is a hell of a photo-op, Jerry.
{76351}{76403}Are you sure I shouldn't be there?
{76407}{76497}The Secret Service don't want|the executive branch...
{76501}{76575}...and the legislative branch|in the same room.
{76601}{76673}The Martian ambassador|is going to say a few words.
{76687}{76739}Come on down, Mr. Ambassador!
{78371}{78412}Mr. Ambassador, please!
{78551}{78575}Please!
{78581}{78627}This doesn't make sense!
{78631}{78679}It's not logical! It's not--
{78727}{78769}Guess it wasn't the dove.
{78815}{78837}Fire!
{78977}{79025}They blew up Congress!
{79555}{79605}Why'd they do that?
{79610}{79679}Maybe they don't like the human being.
{80110}{80146}Hello, gentlemen.
{80150}{80202}Nice of you to come on...
{80206}{80250}...such short notice.
{80272}{80308}General Decker...
{80312}{80370}...it seems I owe you an apology.
{80376}{80440}We all make mistakes, Mr. President.
{80444}{80490}Not anymore.
{80498}{80574}We're going to take charge of this thing!
{80580}{80637}Excellent. I have prepared the order.
{80654}{80682}What's this?
{80684}{80764}Your executive order for full use|of our nuclear deterrent.
{80852}{80914}Are you crazy? I'm not starting a war!
{80918}{81016}We're already at war, sir! We have|to nuke them! We must nuke them now!
{81046}{81128}General Decker, if you do not shut up...
{81138}{81192}...I'll relieve you of your command.
{81196}{81240}We must strike now, sir!
{81244}{81292}Annihilate! Kill! Kill!
{81304}{81328}Shut up!
{81332}{81386}Shut up! Shut up!
{82002}{82030}Now...
{82074}{82134}...I want the people to know...
{82138}{82216}...that they still have two out of three|branches of government...
{82218}{82282}...working for them, and that ain't bad.
{82286}{82404}I want the people to know|that the schools will still be open, okay?
{82418}{82474}And I want the people to know...
{82478}{82552}...that the garbage will still be carried out.
{82556}{82596}And I want a cop...
{82600}{82634}...on every corner.
{82636}{82680}Which, incidentally...
{82684}{82740}...we would already have...
{82744}{82816}...if they had listened to me|in the last election.
{82892}{82924}Jerry...
{82928}{82980}...how soon can we go on the air?
{83112}{83172}My fellow Americans.
{83184}{83236}It is with a heavy heart...
{83240}{83298}...that I speak to you this afternoon.
{83302}{83332}As you know...
{83334}{83452}...earlier today the Martian ambassador|and his confederates...
{83458}{83500}...attacked and killed...
{83504}{83604}...many of your representatives|on Capitol Hill.
{83618}{83730}I will be conferring|with other world leaders as time goes on.
{83748}{83842}And rest assured that, working together...
{83852}{83916}...we will soon come out...
{83938}{84008}...at a very real outcome.
{84062}{84096}Thank you.
{84792}{84834}Nathalie, is that you?
{84852}{84882}Yes.
{84886}{84914}How're you?
{84963}{85013}Not terribly good, I'm afraid.
{85058}{85100}May I ask you a question?
{85168}{85206}Of course you can.
{85234}{85292}Were you flirting with me on the show?
{85298}{85326}Because...
{85332}{85366}...if you were...
{85368}{85412}...I just want you to know...
{85414}{85458}...that I liked it.
{85494}{85524}You did?
{85528}{85552}Really?
{85554}{85636}Because, you know,|I've watched you on TV quite a bit and...
{85638}{85671}...well, I've...
{85682}{85754}...had something of|a schoolboycrush on you for...
{85758}{85788}...oh, gosh...
{85792}{85822}...ages.
{86808}{86835}Hi, there.
{86840}{86898}Are you interested in the White House?
{87022}{87082}I work there. I'm the press secretary.
{87086}{87114}Jerry Ross.
{87132}{87175}Have you ever heard of me?
{87214}{87277}You wouldn't believe|the pressure of my job.
{87318}{87370}It's nice to see a new face.
{87556}{87590}Are you doing anything?
{87592}{87642}'Cause if you want, I...
{87646}{87695}...could give you a personalized tour.
{87697}{87734}Would you like that?
{87791}{87865}Hey, Mitch, it's me. Can you let me in?
{87957}{88011}Hello, Mr. Ross. Sure.
{88015}{88075}We're a little nervous here,|after what happened.
{88077}{88103}Exactly.
{88327}{88397}Many great men and women|have passed through here.
{88411}{88463}Now we're passing through here.
{88475}{88525}Feels good, don't it?
{88605}{88649}You're very graceful.
{88667}{88697}I like that.
{88881}{88909}Come here.
{89401}{89451}We call this the Kennedy Room.
{89555}{89595}Pretty nifty, huh?
{90393}{90423}So...
{90427}{90465}...how about a drink?
{91187}{91233}Getting more comfortable.
{91289}{91323}Outstanding.
{91671}{91709}How's my lady doing?
{91957}{92007}Oh, missy, you're hot.
{92025}{92083}Could we get that gum out of your mouth?
{92241}{92273}My finger!
{92397}{92465}Hello! Hello, operator?|This is an emergency!
{92469}{92495}Help!
{94553}{94581}Don't shoot!
{94689}{94727}Don't worry, darling.
{94939}{94965}Get down!
{95213}{95247}Thank you, Mitch.
{95251}{95280}It's my job.
{96581}{96603}What's happening?
{96605}{96687}They appear to be|in a highly agitated state.
{96691}{96749}And I, I don't know.
{96765}{96803}I honestly don't know.
{96807}{96879}I don't know what's going on anymore.|This is frustrating.
{96881}{96922}I'm not feeling myself.
{96931}{96981}lf only I could hold you in my arms!
{96983}{97021}Oh, Donald!
{97025}{97064}I'm scared!
{97883}{97909}Excuse me.
{97913}{97981}You said you wanted to know|as soon as possible.
{97985}{98011}What is it?
{98013}{98043}It's NO2.
{98047}{98089}Highly concentrated.
{98093}{98125}Nitrogen.
{98137}{98169}So...
{98175}{98247}...that's how it could breathe|in our atmosphere.
{98267}{98311}What's that noise?
{99078}{99154}But, Theodore,|I simply do not feel that Lincoln....
{99164}{99204}It's a full-scale invasion.
{99206}{99248}We must get you to safety.
{99390}{99420}Not this way?
{99422}{99482}I'm sorry, there's a tour going through.
{99496}{99592}The Blue Room is often considered|the most beautiful in the White House.
{99596}{99672}It is often used by the president|to receive guests.
{99692}{99764}It is furnished to represent|the period of James Monroe.
{99766}{99795}What's that?
{99805}{99837}That...
{99841}{99903}...is a portrait of James Monroe.
{101147}{101183}We lost Taffy!
{101293}{101379}Keep moving,|we must get you to the back stairs!
{101535}{101581}The Nancy Reagan chandelier!
{102036}{102108}What are you gawking at?|Get that president out of here!
{102261}{102309}I personally guarantee...
{102319}{102402}...that you will get a complete return|on your investment...
{102405}{102453}...within five months.
{102457}{102503}Mr. Land, excuse me.
{102507}{102585}Just a second, Sheik Rakula.
{102633}{102651}Now...
{102653}{102753}...even in a time of so-called|intergalactic emergency...
{102781}{102813}...the people...
{102817}{102881}...still want to roll them bones!
{102917}{102953}I believe--
{102965}{103009}Just five more minutes.
{103031}{103103}What I'd like for you to do is to...
{103107}{103187}...view our new,|state-of-the-art show room.
{103219}{103275}It is out-of-sight!
{103313}{103340}Gentlemen.
{103437}{103485}There is no way...
{103489}{103533}...that we can lose.
{104617}{104697}''It's not unusual to be loved by anyone
{104741}{104827}''It's not unusual to have fun with anyone
{104863}{104949}''But when I see you hanging|about with anyone
{104994}{105058}''It's not unusual to see me cry
{105104}{105152}''I want to die''
{105172}{105216}I've called you all day.
{105220}{105254}The flight's been canceled.
{105256}{105316}Byron, there's Martians everywhere!
{105338}{105361}Hello?
{105400}{105434}I can't hear you!
{105569}{105611}I must get to Washington.
{105733}{105776}Do you know anyone who can fly a plane?
{105778}{105806}Your husband, Art.
{105808}{105834}He's dead.
{105838}{105875}I told him this would happen.
{105877}{105929}I loaded the plane with supplies.
{105936}{106040}I want to go to the Tahoe caves.|It's remote, the Martians won't find it.
{106050}{106074}Where's the plane?
{106076}{106142}Private airfield. Other side of the freeway.
{106146}{106188}Will it fly to Washington?
{106192}{106236}I want to go to Tahoe.
{106240}{106284}''You find it happens
{106288}{106340}''All the time
{106354}{106412}''Love will never do
{106428}{106476}''What you want it to
{106498}{106546}''Why can't this crazy love
{106556}{106604}''Be mine''
{106818}{106850}Jesus Christ!
{107067}{107103}Girls, get out!
{107325}{107383}There's a Martian right behind me!
{107387}{107451}You're Tom Jones! ''It Ain't Unusual.''
{107479}{107505}Autograph?
{107507}{107558}Anybody got a pen?
{107993}{108025}Great punch.
{108029}{108063}You'll need that gun.
{108065}{108107}-I'm Tom Jones.|-Byron Williams.
{108109}{108163}I saw you fight in Cardiff, Wales.
{108195}{108223}You okay?
{108233}{108287}-I need a drink.|-You and me both.
{108291}{108339}-We better go.|-Can you fly a plane?
{108341}{108363}Sure. Got one?
{108365}{108391}She has.
{108859}{108925}Don't run, we are your friends.
{109669}{109707}Martians blew up the shop!
{109709}{109731}You're kidding.
{109733}{109759}Should I get Grandma?
{109761}{109845}Forget her! She's halfway|to outer space already! Here!
{109849}{109925}I'll tell you one thing.|They ain't getting the TV!
{110013}{110081}The president of France is on line two.
{110173}{110251}Mr. President, the president of France|is on line two.
{110255}{110299}He says it's important.
{110433}{110485}Hello, Maurice.
{110549}{110589}I have good news.
{110593}{110629}The Martian ambassador is here.
{110631}{110685}We've negotiated a settlement.
{110733}{110789}Maurice get out of the room.
{110793}{110829}Get out, now!
{111923}{111953}Mr. President.
{112011}{112053}Mr. President.
{112057}{112119}I need you to sign this!
{112233}{112269}What is it?
{112273}{112331}My last will and testament?
{112335}{112431}It is an order to deploy|our nuclear capability, sir.
{114153}{114199}What the hell was that?
{116652}{116674}Look!
{116852}{116882}What was that?
{116931}{116957}Where you going?
{116959}{116985}To get Grandma.
{116987}{117034}Stay and defend this trailer!
{117036}{117087}That's what Billy-Glenn would do.
{117091}{117129}You're disgracing a hero!
{117131}{117191}I don't care. I'm gonna go get grandma.
{117207}{117240}Come back here!
{117559}{117601}What in the hell is that?
{117780}{117812}Cut it out!
{117944}{117977}Stop it!
{118191}{118218}-This way!|-No, this way!
{118220}{118279}It's a short cut! The airfield's--
{118283}{118343}Bullshit! The airfield's over there!
{118483}{118577}Being dressed like King Tut|doesn't make you our leader!
{118580}{118616}Look, this is wrong!
{118620}{118712}We're lost! He led us down a maze!|I'm going back to the hotel.
{118716}{118748}-This way!|-Wait!
{118752}{118796}Where are you going?
{118800}{118818}Come on.
{118820}{118856}But, I like him.
{119011}{119115}Assholes! Why'd I listen to them?|I should have stayed in the hotel.
{119129}{119163}Shit!
{119228}{119264}I surrender, okay?
{119276}{119331}You understand what that means?
{119360}{119424}Look! You're intelligent beings.
{119439}{119492}Let's cut a deal. I can help.
{119496}{119531}I'm a lawyer!
{119539}{119621}You want to conquer the world,|you'll need lawyers, right?
{119660}{119684}Here.
{119705}{119744}You want my watch?
{119756}{119820}Take it. Take it. It's a Rolex!
{120072}{120107}Nice shot!
{120111}{120145}Pity I was too late.
{120147}{120192}Can I have the gun back?
{120197}{120243}Give me the gun and come on!
{122036}{122060}Grandma!
{122261}{122292}Oh, my God!
{122631}{122688}I think these guys are very sick.
{122708}{122773}What's happening to them?|What's killing them?
{122808}{122865}I think it must be my music.
{123052}{123086}Quiet!
{124324}{124386}You think you can do anything you want.
{124390}{124424}You can't.
{124428}{124448}Because...
{124450}{124504}...we are human...
{124512}{124536}...beings.
{124538}{124624}And we have the United States Army...
{124648}{124686}...that'll fight you...
{124688}{124786}...to the last man!|And we'll never surrender!
{124878}{124916}Do you hear me?
{124920}{124990}We'll fight you on the beaches.|We'll fight you in the streets.
{124992}{125052}We will never, never surrender!
{125056}{125112}We will win!
{125116}{125160}Democracy will survive!
{125166}{125210}We will never, ever...
{125214}{125252}...surrender!
{125256}{125288}We will win!
{125292}{125340}The eagle will be triumphant!
{126060}{126096}Why...
{126102}{126144}...are you doing this?
{126194}{126222}Why?
{126250}{126316}lsn't the universe big enough...
{126330}{126370}...for both of us?
{126464}{126514}What is wrong with you people?
{126584}{126624}We could work together.
{126652}{126702}Why be enemies?
{126726}{126768}Because we're different?
{126794}{126834}Is that why?
{126934}{126998}Think of the things that we could do.
{127032}{127102}Think how strong we would be!
{127146}{127182}Earth...
{127202}{127248}...and Mars...
{127274}{127304}...together.
{127367}{127435}There is nothing|that we could not accomplish.
{127460}{127502}Think about it!
{127556}{127602}Think about it!
{127638}{127678}Why destroy...
{127698}{127750}...when you can create?
{127782}{127830}We can have it all...
{127850}{127908}...or we can smash it all!
{127992}{128028}Why can't we...
{128034}{128088}...work out our differences?
{128118}{128164}Why can't we...
{128172}{128224}...work things out?
{128284}{128336}Little people...
{128392}{128442}...why can't we all just...
{128472}{128514}...get along?
{129158}{129187}What's this?
{130104}{130166}Don't run. We are your friends.
{130204}{130266}Don't run. We are your friends.
{130589}{130633}Next stop, radio station.
{130703}{130739}There it is!
{130755}{130793}Let's move it!
{131223}{131255}There it is.
{131287}{131337}Go start it. Go with him.
{131341}{131379}Cindy, come with me.
{131793}{131831}Are you sure you can fly this?
{131833}{131873}I think so, yeah.
{131931}{131965}Who put that on?
{131997}{132063}-It's stuck!|-Cindy, over here.
{132219}{132247}Shit!
{132269}{132325}They haven't seen us yet. Come here.
{132375}{132409}Get in the plane.
{132419}{132463}I'll distract them.
{132467}{132521}The first chance you get, go.
{132525}{132577}-I'm not leaving you!|-Just do it!
{132579}{132627}I'll draw them away! Go!
{132631}{132657}No!
{132661}{132695}I said go!
{132809}{132847}Oh, my God!
{132867}{132899}What's he doing?
{132901}{132923}He's flipped!
{132925}{132971}He's going to throw them off|so we can escape.
{132973}{133009}We can't leave him!
{133085}{133111}No weapon!
{133119}{133171}No clown outfit!
{133175}{133205}Just me!
{133219}{133253}Byron Williams...
{133269}{133323}...heavyweight champion...
{133337}{133377}...of the world!
{135072}{135122}Something's happened.
{135129}{135179}Something's happened to Byron.
{135572}{135634}''When I'm calling you
{136152}{136237}''That means I offer my love to you''
{137134}{137168}Good-bye, my darling.
{137170}{137217}I wish things were different.
{137236}{137276}So do I.
{137410}{137442}Good-bye.
{137452}{137478}I love you.
{137480}{137526}I love you too, Nathalie.
{139822}{139860}Florence Norris...
{139864}{139940}...I present to you|the Congressional Medal of Honor...
{139944}{139998}...the nation's highest decoration.
{140044}{140130}Thank you,|but don't you dare let this happen again!
{140166}{140208}Richard Norris...
{140212}{140284}...on behalf of my parents,|who couldn't be here today...
{140286}{140346}...for saving the world from the Martians...
{140348}{140408}...I present to you the Medal of Honor.
{140428}{140478}Don't kiss me if you don't want.
{140488}{140524}I have to.
{140600}{140656}I prepared a speech. Is that okay?
{140674}{140724}Sure, that's very appropriate.
{140840}{140870}Hi, everybody.
{140904}{140934}I want to say--
{140936}{140998}Can you speak up? We can't hear you.
{141010}{141090}I want to say that there's|a lot of people in the world...
{141092}{141162}...that have done a lot more|than I have, and...
{141166}{141218}...they should be here now...
{141224}{141260}...getting a medal.
{141308}{141360}And I want to thank my grandma...
{141364}{141416}...for always being good to me...
{141420}{141490}...and for helping save the world|and everything.
{141518}{141596}So, I guess, like, now we just have to...
{141600}{141696}...start over and start rebuilding|everything, like our houses.
{141700}{141818}But I was thinking, maybe instead|of houses we could live in tepees.
{141826}{141878}Because it's better in many ways.
{141964}{142028}That's all I have to say. Thanks.
{142074}{142104}Was that okay?
{142106}{142132}Yeah.
{142152}{142193}Do you got a girlfriend?
{142198}{142222}No.
{142256}{142330}Give me a break.|Go on in there and clean your room.
{142334}{142398}I can't do this all by myself. Look at you.
{144295}{144345}Subtitles provided by:|Paul@vear.co.uk
