{3822}{3928}Ladies and gentlemen, the driving force|behind Catholicism WOW!, Cardinal Glick.
{4173}{4205}Thankyou.
{4208}{4266}Now we all know|how the majority...
{4268}{4336}and the media in this country...
{4338}{4406}view the Catholic church.
{4408}{4500}They think ofus as a pass,|archaic institution.
{4503}{4600}People fiind the Bible obtuse...
{4602}{4646}even hokey.
{4649}{4711}Now, in an effort to disprove|all that...
{4714}{4826}the Church has appointed this year|as a time ofrenewal...
{4828}{4887}both offaith and ofstyle.
{4912}{4981}For example, the crucifiix.
{4983}{5061}While it has been a time-honored symbol|ofour faith...
{5064}{5155}Holy Mother Church|has decided to retire...
{5158}{5205}this highly recognizable...
{5208}{5277}yet wholly depressing image...
{5279}{5344}ofour Lord, crucifiied.
{5347}{5448}Christ didnt come to Earth|to give us the willies.
{5450}{5506}He came to help us out.
{5508}{5619}He was a booster, and its|with that take on our Lord in mind...
{5621}{5704}that weve come up with a new,|more inspiring Sigil.
{5729}{5824}So, it is with great pleasure|that I presentyou with the fiirst...
{5826}{5906}ofmany revamps|the Catholicism Wow! campaign...
{5908}{6011}will unveil over the nextyear,|I giveyou...
{6013}{6050}"The Buddy Christ."
{6344}{6435}Thats not the sanctioned term|were using for the symbol.
{6438}{6510}Just something weve been|kicking around the offiice.
{6512}{6554}But look at it.
{6556}{6611}Doesnt it pop?
{6613}{6661}Buddy Christ.
{6667}{6727}Well, thereyouhaveit.
{6730}{6787}Let me get this straight.
{6789}{6896}You dont believe in God|because ofAlicein Wonderland?
{6899}{6959}No, Through the Looking Glass.
{6962}{7020}That poem,|"The Walrus and the Carpenter"...
{7022}{7089}thats an indictment|oforganized religion.
{7091}{7151}The Walrus, with his girth|and his good nature...
{7154}{7214}he obviously represents either Buddha...
{7217}{7307}orwith his tusks,|the Hindu elephant god, Lord Ganesha.
{7310}{7369}That takes care|ofyour Eastern religions.
{7372}{7454}Now, the Carpenter, which is|an obvious reference toJesus Christ...
{7456}{7564}who was raised a carpenters son,|he represents the Western religions.
{7567}{7641}Now, in the poem,|what do they do?
{7643}{7719}They dupe all these oysters|into following them...
{7722}{7835}and then proceed to shuck and devour|the helpless creatures en masse.
{7837}{7925}I dont know what that says toyou,|but to me it says...
{7927}{8040}that following these faiths|based on mythological fiigures...
{8042}{8124}ensures the destruction|ofones inner-being.
{8126}{8188}Organized religion destroys|who we are...
{8191}{8276}by inhibiting our actions,|by inhibiting our decisions...
{8278}{8379}out offear ofsome|intangible parent fiigure...
{8381}{8470}who shakes a fiinger at us|from thousands ofyears ago...
{8473}{8590}and says, " Do it--|Do it and lll fuckin spankyou!"
{8592}{8633}Oh,Jesus!
{8635}{8742}The wayyou put it, lve never really|thought about it like that before.
{8770}{8844}What have I been doing|with my life?
{8873}{8948}- What am l?|- Yeah, I know.
{8951}{9005}Listen, my advice toyou...
{9007}{9083}you take this money thatyouve|been collecting foryour parish...
{9086}{9182}go getyourselfa nice dress,|fiixyourselfup.
{9184}{9281}Find some man-- fiind some woman--you|can connect with, even for a moment...
{9283}{9375}cause thats really all life is,|Sister-- a series ofmoments.
{9410}{9468}Why dontyou seizeyours?
{9565}{9607}That a girl.
{9847}{9905}You know, heres what|I dont get aboutyou.
{9907}{9992}You know for a fact|that there is a God.
{9994}{10079}Youve been in His presence.|Hes spoken toyou personally.
{10081}{10178}- Yet I heard you claim to be atheist.|- I like to fuckwith the clergy, man.
{10180}{10283}I just love it. I love to keep|those guys on their toes.
{10285}{10343}Heres what I dont get aboutyou.
{10345}{10428}Why doyou feel the need|to come to this place all the time?
{10430}{10504}My friend, because|this is humanity at its best.
{10506}{10542}Look at them.
{10544}{10660}All that anger, all that mistrust,|all that unhappiness...
{10662}{10780}forgotten for that one perfect moment|when they get offthe plane.
{10782}{10820}See those two?
{10822}{10921}What that guy doesnt know is that the|girl cheated on him while she was away.
{10923}{10981}- She did?|- Twice.
{10983}{11047}- Nice.|- But it doesnt matter right now...
{11050}{11138}cause theyrejust both so relieved|to be with one another.
{11170}{11208}I like that.
{11210}{11279}I wish they all could|feel that way more often.
{11281}{11376}Is this why I had to come down here|and miss my fucking cartoons?
{11378}{11451}You call me, you tell me|its important.
{11453}{11556}What, to share in your half-assed|obsession with Hallmark moments?
{11559}{11620}Were going home.
{11623}{11691}Somebody sent us this in the mail.
{11832}{11929}Take it and quit leering at me. People|will think I just broke up with you.
{11931}{12034}- You said were going home, didntyou?|- Read.
{12036}{12155}"Cardinal Glick Cuts Ribbon On|Catholicism Wow! Campaign."
{12158}{12202}And?
{12234}{12315}You have to keep reading.
{12317}{12380}"The rededication of|St. Michaels Church..."
{12383}{12455}...is thekickoffofanewcampaign|whichseeks tobring...
{12457}{12512}Catholicism into themainstream.
{12514}{12589}Withapapalsanction,|thearchwayentrance...
{12592}{12666}ofthe century-oldJerseyshore|house ofworship...
{12668}{12740}willserveasapassageway|ofplenaryindulgence--
{12742}{12842}alittle-known Catholicbeliefoffering|allthatpasses throughitsarches...
{12844}{12900}amorallycleanslate.
{12902}{12996}ForSundayNews Brief,|lm GrantHicks.
{12999}{13103}All I gotta do, I walk through the arch|thing, and then I can go back home?
{13106}{13210}No. Bywalking through the archway,|all your sins are forgiven.
{13213}{13291}- Then all we have to do is die.|- Die? I dont wanna die.
{13294}{13407}- You rather hang around here?|- No. We dont know ifwe can die.
{13409}{13501}But what ifwe can and then|the arch thing doesnt work?
{13504}{13558}What then, Hell?|Fuck that.
{13560}{13618}Its impossible.|Ifwe cut offourwings...
{13620}{13723}and transubstantiate to complete|human form, we become mortal.
{13725}{13799}Ifwe die with clean souls,|theres no way they can keep us out.
{13801}{13894}We wont be angels anymore,|but at least we get to go home.
{13897}{13999}- Who sent the paper?|- Who cares who sent the paper?
{14001}{14093}All that matters is that after|all theseyears, we found a loophole.
{14096}{14154}He cant keep us out anymore.
{14156}{14214}Once were back in,|itll be forgive and forget.
{14216}{14278}But this thing,|this is Church law.
{14281}{14337}Its not Divine Mandate.
{14339}{14446}Church laws are fallible|because theyre created by man.
{14449}{14552}One ofthe last sacred promises|imparted to Peter, the fiirst pope...
{14554}{14660}by the Son ofGod|before He left was...
{14663}{14759}- "Whateveryou hold true on Earth--"|- "lll hold true in Heaven."
{14761}{14852}Its dogmatic law. Ifthe Church|says its so, God must adhere.
{14855}{14904}This thing has a papal sanction--
{14907}{14994}Let it never be said your|anal retentive attention to detail...
{14996}{15054}neveryielded positive results.
{15056}{15118}You cant be anal retentive|ifyou dont have an anus.
{15121}{15189}Outstanding work!
{15191}{15278}Theresjust one thing|I thinkwe gotta do before we leave.
{15280}{15343}This is gonna help us get back|on His good side.
{15346}{15380}What?
{15383}{15469}Here. Ive been dreaming about this|for fiiveyears. Read that.
{15471}{15515}" Mooby, the Golden Calf.
{15517}{15600}Creating an Empire|Out ofSimplicity.
{15602}{15659}I wanna hit em.
{15661}{15743}You really are|just a simple creature.
{15745}{15814}We fiinally fiind a way back|and you want tojeopardize that...
{15816}{15878}becauseyouve got a soft spot|for the good ol days.
{15881}{15984}What betterway to repent than by|resuming the position I once denied...
{15987}{16031}thanks toyou?
{16034}{16125}I dont think a killing spree|is gonna make things better for us.
{16128}{16215}Killing spree?|lm talking about DivineJustice here.
{16217}{16317}Im talking about reigning down fiire|and brimstone, punishing the wicked.
{16319}{16397}Hes all about that.|I know Hed want this done.
{16400}{16481}There hasnt been an Angel of Death|sinceyou quit.
{16483}{16530}Doesnt that mean anything toyou?
{16533}{16619}And besides, what ifyoure wrong,|likeyou always are?
{16621}{16699}Iflm wrong-- which lm not--|its not gonna matter.
{16702}{16770}Were gonna pass through|your arch thing anyway.
{16772}{16857}Were gonna be forgiven.|No harm, no foul.
{16859}{16970}Well, He does hate competition.|I will say that.
{16972}{17041}And your Mooby certainly falls|under that heading.
{17043}{17103}Where is this church|we have to go to?
{17106}{17205}NewJersey. Rededication ceremony|is in four days.
{17207}{17266}Last four days on Earth?
{17268}{17339}Ifl had a dick,|ld go get laid.
{17341}{17404}- We can do the next best thing.|- Whats that?
{17407}{17463}Lets kill people.
{17465}{17512}Oh, notyou.
{17721}{17826}ThegreaterIllinois Chapter|ofthe Right to Life Foundation...
{17829}{17898}willbeholdingits|biannualsoftballgame...
{17900}{17944}against the Cook County...
{17946}{18018}Pro-Choice LeaguenextSundayat2::00.
{18020}{18092}Todays second collection|will be donated...
{18094}{18179}to theJohn DoeJersey Life Fund.
{18181}{18252}For those ofyou|who havent been following the news...
{18254}{18316}an unidentifiied homeless man...
{18319}{18442}who was accosted and severely beaten|at the NewJersey shore last Tuesday...
{18445}{18568}Iies in critical, but stable condition|in one ofthat areas hospitals.
{18571}{18625}He lacks identifiication...
{18627}{18731}and police have had no luck tracking|down any possible family.
{18734}{18866}The archbishop ofthe Trenton diocese|has disputed the states decision...
{18868}{18965}to remove the indigent man|from life-support systems...
{18967}{19049}asking that Catholics|all over the country...
{19051}{19144}join in this protest against euthanasia.
{19189}{19249}Well, now please rise|for the recession offaith.
{19369}{19445}We believe in one God,|the FatherAlmighty...
{19448}{19493}Maker of Heaven and Earth.
{19496}{19588}WebelieveinJesus Christ,|His onlySon, OurLord--
{19637}{19677}Choose life!
{19679}{19782}Youre gonna burn in Hell,|ya fuckin baby killer!
{19785}{19839}Holy shit. Its the pope.
{19841}{19883}- Huh?|- Where?
{19885}{19925}What areyou talking about?
{20204}{20313}Jesus! Youre a Catholic.|Cantyou talk to them?
{20316}{20379}They hate me more than you,|no doubt.
{20382}{20468}At leastyou have an excuse. Youre|Jewish. You dont know any better.
{20470}{20574}We already used that excuse|when we killed Christ.
{20577}{20638}Where wereyou yesterday?|We went to brunch.
{20641}{20682}I went to church.
{20684}{20742}That still kills me,|you and church.
{20744}{20849}Ifonly they knewyourweekly tithing|came from a Planned Parenthood check.
{20852}{20925}I dont know why I still go, Liz.
{20963}{21071}I can remember going to church|when I was young and being moved.
{21074}{21171}Now I sit there every Sunday|and I feel nothing.
{21173}{21246}I dont think I have any faith left.
{21284}{21372}Remember that seminary student|I tried to setyou up with?
{21418}{21536}The 20-year-old. The one I could|have baby-sat for in high school.
{21538}{21609}The point is,|he told me something.
{21611}{21687}He said that faith|is like a glass ofwater.
{21690}{21779}When youreyoung, the glass is little,|so its easy to fiill.
{21781}{21839}As you get older,|the glass gets bigger.
{21841}{21901}The same amount ofliquid|doesnt fiill it anymore.
{21904}{21989}But periodically|the glass has to be refiilled.
{21991}{22048}Youre suggesting I need|to get fiilled?
{22050}{22087}In more ways than one.
{22089}{22222}You need to get laid, Bethany Sloane.|You need a man, ifonly for 1 0 minutes.
{22224}{22309}Its been my experience that|the average male is never a man...
{22311}{22383}not even for ten minutes|in his entire life span.
{22385}{22473}That sounds militant. Areyou thinking|ofjoining the other side?
{22475}{22532}Couldnt do it.|Women are insane.
{22534}{22630}Then you need to go back to church|and ask God for a third option.
{22632}{22690}I think God is dead.
{22692}{22765}The sign ofa true Catholic.
{23079}{23179}Good afternoon, Mrs. Reynolds.
{23181}{23231}Im from the EPA.
{23266}{23352}Were checking on possible|freon leaks.
{23354}{23424}Tell me,|doyou have air conditioning?
{23426}{23476}Yes, we have central air.
{23479}{23527}In every room?
{23530}{23584}Except the bathroom.|Why?
{23586}{23646}Well, you do know|what that means, dontyou?
{23987}{24034}Move!
{24233}{24341}No pleasure, no rapture,|no exquisite sin greater...
{24365}{24433}than central air.
{24454}{24518}Pick that up.
{24611}{24737}This will be the base ofoperations|from here on in.
{24739}{24826}Now, ifl remember|the protocol correctly...
{24828}{24871}the powers...
{24873}{24975}will attempt to contact|the last scion.
{24977}{25041}I need you three...
{25044}{25137}to shuffle her loose|the mortal coil.
{25258}{25291}Go.
{26304}{26391}Behold the Metatron!
{26393}{26477}Herald ofthe Almighty|and voice ofthe one true God!
{26479}{26560}Behold the Metatron!
{26562}{26683}Herald ofthe Almighty|and voice ofthe one true God!
{27181}{27267}SweetJesus!|Doyou have to use the whole can?
{27269}{27359}Who the fuck areyou and|what the fuck areyou doing in my room?
{27362}{27447}Im the one thats soaked and shes|the one thats surly. Thats rich.
{27449}{27508}Stupid fucking--
{27510}{27580}Get the fuck out ofhere,|now!
{27582}{27660}Oryoull do what exactly?
{27663}{27728}Hit me with that fiish?
{27874}{27964}Now,just sit down on the bed|and shut up.
{27967}{28044}Jesus wept!
{28047}{28100}Look at my suit.
{28149}{28217}Just take whateveryou want,|but dont kill or rape me.
{28219}{28351}Give over! I couldnt rapeyou|ifl wanted to. Angels are ill-equipped.
{28417}{28461}See?
{28542}{28627}Im as anatomically-impaired|as a Ken doll.
{28659}{28724}Makeyourselfuseful|and give me that towel.
{28759}{28829}You bottom-feeders|and your arrogance.
{28831}{28911}You think everybodysjust trying|to get in your knickers.
{28914}{28961}What areyou?
{28964}{29024}Im pissed offis what I am.
{29027}{29148}Doyou drench everyone who comes in your|room with flame-retardant chemicals?
{29151}{29237}No wonderyoure single.
{29346}{29393}Stand back.
{29674}{29733}As I was sayin...
{29736}{29833}prior toyour fiire-fiighting episode...
{29856}{29939}I am the Metatron.
{30041}{30104}Dont tell me the name|doesnt ring a bell?
{30157}{30201}You people.
{30203}{30299}Ifthere isnt a movie about it,|its not worth knowing, is it?
{30354}{30419}I am a seraphim.
{30461}{30560}The highest choir ofangels.
{30599}{30657}You do know what an angel is,|dontyou?
{30748}{30827}Metatron acts as the voice ofGod.
{30830}{30957}Any documented occasion when someyahoo|claims that God has spoken to them...
{30959}{31011}theyre speaking to me.
{31013}{31078}Or theyre talking to themselves.
{31141}{31204}Why doesnt God speak for Himself?
{31231}{31332}Glad you decided tojoin|the conversation. To answer that...
{31334}{31431}human beings have neither the aural,|nor the psychological capacity...
{31433}{31566}to withstand the awesome power|ofGods true voice.
{31569}{31672}Wereyou to hear it, your mind would|cave in and your heart would explode.
{31674}{31760}We went through fiive Adams|before we fiigured that one out.
{31791}{31877}Well, how do I know|youre an angel?
{31879}{32009}Aside from the fiiery entrance|and the expansive wingspan?
{32093}{32151}You want more proof?
{32153}{32203}Fine.
{32206}{32239}How about tequila?
{32460}{32577}-Where the hell are we?|-Only placeyou can go for good tequila.
{32579}{32671}Dos tequilas, porfavor,|and an empty glass.
{32732}{32785}Were in Mexico?
{32787}{32860}Actually, were in a franchised|Mexican family eatery...
{32862}{32929}down the street|from your apartment, but...
{32931}{32987}its impressive nonetheless.
{32989}{33128}You dont mind I lost the wings, doyou?|lm trying to keep our profiile low.
{33131}{33185}What doyou want with me?
{33262}{33379}I am to chargeyou|with a holy crusade.
{33381}{33480}For the record,|I work in an abortion clinic.
{33482}{33553}Noah was a drunk.|Lookwhat he accomplished.
{33555}{33672}And no ones asking you to build an ark.|All you gotta do is go to NewJersey...
{33674}{33750}and visit a small church|on a very important day.
{33886}{33923}NewJersey?
{33959}{34021}That doesnt sound like|much ofa crusade.
{34024}{34099}Aside from the fiine print,|thats it.
{34102}{34163}Whats the fiine print?
{34200}{34284}Stop a couple ofangels from entering|and thus negating all existence.
{34286}{34351}Wait, wait, wait.|Repeat that.
{34354}{34452}Stop a couple ofangels|from entering...
{34454}{34548}and thus negating all existence.
{34551}{34620}I hate it when people|need it spelled out for them.
{34622}{34677}You might want to clarify that.
{34714}{34840}Back in the old days,|God was vengeful and hot-tempered.
{34842}{34905}And His wrath was bore...
{34908}{35005}by the Angel of Death,|name of Loki.
{35007}{35071}When Sodom and Gomorrah was destroyed...
{35074}{35118}that was Loki.
{35121}{35242}When the waters wiped out everything|except Noah and his menagerie...
{35245}{35327}that was Loki--|and he was good at what he did.
{35329}{35382}But one day...
{35384}{35473}he refused to bear Gods wrath|any longer.
{35494}{35580}- Why?|- He listened to his friend...
{35582}{35643}a Grigori|by the name of Bartleby.
{35646}{35679}Grigori?
{35682}{35779}One ofthe choirs ofangels.|Theyre called Watchers.
{35781}{35824}Guess what they do.
{35826}{35959}So one day, Lokis wiping out|all the fiirstborn of Egypt--
{35961}{36035}The Tenth Plague.
{36038}{36122}Tell a person thatyoure the Metatron|and they stare atyou blankly.
{36124}{36186}Mention something out of|a Charlton Heston movie...
{36189}{36253}and suddenly everybodys|a theology scholar.
{36256}{36314}May I continue uninterrupted?
{36316}{36378}Once hes done with the fiirstborn...
{36381}{36522}Loki takes his friend Bartleby out|for a post-slaughter drink.
{36524}{36594}And over many rounds...
{36596}{36659}they get into|this discussion about...
{36662}{36719}whether or not murder|in the name ofGod is okay.
{36721}{36762}And in the end...
{36764}{36882}Bartleby convinces Loki|to quit his position...
{36884}{36954}and take one which doesnt|involve slaughter.
{36956}{37003}So...
{37048}{37120}very inebriated...
{37122}{37201}Loki tells God he quits...
{37204}{37273}throws down his fiiery sword...
{37275}{37333}and gives Him the fiinger.
{37335}{37431}Which ruins it for the rest ofus|because from that day forward...
{37433}{37524}God decreed that angels|could no longer imbibe alcohol.
{37527}{37571}Hence all the spitting.
{37596}{37645}So, for their insolence...
{37648}{37737}God decreed that neither Loki|nor Bartleby...
{37740}{37816}would ever be allowed|back into Paradise.
{37819}{37875}- Were they sent to Hell?|- Worse.
{37877}{37935}Wisconsin...
{37937}{38025}for the entire span|ofhuman history.
{38027}{38121}And when the world ends, theyll have to|sit outside the gates for all eternity.
{38124}{38183}And this has what to do with me?
{38186}{38321}Someone has clued them in|to a loophole in Catholic dogma...
{38324}{38401}that would allow them|to reenter Heaven.
{38404}{38484}So what? They beat the system.|Good for them.
{38487}{38544}Its not that simple.
{38546}{38668}Ifthey get in,|theywill have reversed Gods decree.
{38719}{38807}Now listen closely because|this bits very important.
{38842}{38962}Existence in all its form|and splendor...
{38965}{39074}function solely on one principle--
{39077}{39167}God is infallible.
{39170}{39228}To prove Him wrong...
{39230}{39319}would undo reality|and everything that is.
{39321}{39408}Up would become down,|blackwould become white.
{39410}{39499}Existence would become nothingness.
{39501}{39548}In essence...
{39581}{39655}iftheyre allowed to enter|that church...
{39710}{39799}theyll unmake the world.
{39802}{39889}Ifthis is so major,|why areyou talking to me?
{39891}{39974}- Why doesnt God do something about it?|- He could.
{39976}{40069}But Hed rather seeyou|take care ofthis one personally.
{40072}{40120}Why me?
{40123}{40192}Because ofwhoyou are.
{40194}{40250}And who am l?
{40252}{40315}The girl in the pjs!
{40318}{40428}Dont ask so many questions.|Just serveyour purpose.
{40431}{40491}Im gonna have to pass.
{40519}{40553}I beg your pardon?
{40556}{40689}When some quiet little infection|destroyed my uterus, where was God?
{40691}{40739}When my husband decided...
{40742}{40815}he couldnt be with a wife|who couldnt bear his children...
{40817}{40856}where was God?
{40929}{40967}To Hell with Him.
{40969}{41096}Dont allow eons ofhistory and life|to get blinked out ofbeing...
{41098}{41167}just becauseyouve got a grudge|againstyour Creator.
{41169}{41242}Soyou lost the ability|to make life.
{41244}{41348}Youre being offered the chance|to play mother to the world...
{41351}{41420}by acting like one|and protecting it--
{41422}{41480}saving it!
{41556}{41614}But I cant makeyou.
{41647}{41725}However, ifyou should decide|to stop being selfiish...
{41728}{41802}and acceptyour responsibility...
{41805}{41862}you wont be alone.
{41864}{41905}Youll have support.
{41907}{41969}What? More angels?
{41972}{42019}Prophets.
{42078}{42168}In a manner ofspeaking.|Two ofem.
{42246}{42320}The one who speaks...
{42323}{42429}and he will, at great length,|whetheryou want him to or not...
{42432}{42492}will make mention ofhimself|as a prophet.
{42495}{42539}The other one...
{42569}{42622}well, hes the quiet type.
{42624}{42661}Look, lve gotta go.
{42664}{42734}Remember, were working|in a time frame here.
{42867}{42902}Whats He like?
{42905}{42934}God?
{42996}{43045}Lonely...
{43048}{43105}but funny.
{43107}{43171}Hes got a great sense ofhumor.
{43174}{43232}Take sex, for example.|Theres nothing funnier...
{43234}{43313}than the ridiculous faces|you people make mid-coitus.
{43316}{43374}Sex is ajoke in Heaven?
{43376}{43491}The way I understand it,|its mostly ajoke down here too.
{43493}{43531}Ill seeya.
{47219}{47304}Snootch to the motherfucking nootch!
{48387}{48489}Go back toyour paper routes,|you Mighty Duck Fucks!
{48523}{48597}Snoogans.|Did you see that shit, man?
{48599}{48708}I know theywerejust kids, but we|kicked their fucking pube-less asses!
{48884}{48957}I dont know what to say|or think, except--
{48959}{49018}Thatyoull offer us sex|as a reward?
{49020}{49117}That ld like to know|who they and you are.
{49119}{49206}ImJay, and this is|my hetero life mate, Silent Bob.
{49208}{49283}I dont know who those kids were,|but theywould have kicked yours...
{49286}{49374}and Lunchboxs asses|ifl hadnt represented.
{49376}{49461}Thanks for being|out here so late.
{49463}{49528}Wait a minute.|Areyou protestors?
{49531}{49620}You mean those dickheads with the signs|and pictures ofdead babies?
{49623}{49697}Shit no!|Me and Silent Bob are pro-choice.
{49699}{49758}A womans body|is her own fucking business.
{49760}{49819}But what areyou doing|hanging around?
{49822}{49882}Were here to pick up chicks.
{49885}{49937}Excuse me?
{49939}{50033}We fiigure abortion clinics are|a good place to meet loose women.
{50036}{50119}Why else would they be here|unless they like to fuck?
{50146}{50208}Right.
{50211}{50295}Well, I should be going.|Thanks for the rescue.
{50297}{50354}- I think.|- Wait a second.
{50356}{50433}Wejust saved your ass,|and yourejust gonna take off.
{50436}{50468}What the shit is that?
{50471}{50588}I had a weird night last night and|tonights not shaping up to be better.
{50590}{50679}I think I should go home,|take some Percosets and lay down.
{50720}{50823}Now how about that shit?|Fuck this town, man!
{50826}{50901}Im goin back toJersey|and startin up the business again.
{50904}{51019}I can kick the shit out ofkids|in Red Bank and make myselfa profiit.
{51021}{51098}Prophets. Two ofem.
{51101}{51211}- You know what lm sayin, Silent Bob?|- You gotta be kidding me.
{51214}{51294}We call this piece "The Fecalator."
{51297}{51375}One look at it and the target|shits him or herself.
{51378}{51421}Try it on.
{51453}{51582}Its a lot more compact than the flaming|sword, but not nearly as impressive.
{51584}{51683}It doesnt have that|"Wrath ofthe Almighty" edge to it.
{51685}{51808}How am I supposed to strike fear into|hearts ofthe wicked with this thing?
{51811}{51843}Look at this.
{51846}{51987}Well, then, you know, dont use a gun.|Lay the place to waste like.
{51989}{52078}Easy foryou to say.|You get offlight in a razing.
{52081}{52146}You got to stand there and read|at Sodom and Gomorrah.
{52149}{52207}I had to do all the work.
{52209}{52307}What work did you do?|You lit a few fiires.
{52309}{52386}I rained down sulfur.|Theres a subtle difference.
{52389}{52440}Okay, lm sure.
{52443}{52564}Fuckyou. Any moron with a pack|ofmatches can set a fiire.
{52567}{52625}Raining down sulfur|is like an endurance trial.
{52627}{52706}Mass genocide is the most|exhausting activity one can engage in...
{52709}{52755}next to soccer.
{52796}{52852}Ill take this one.
{53255}{53358}So, whats up? You have a friend for|Silent Bob, or areyou gonna do us both?
{53361}{53433}Ifso, lm fiirst.|I hate sloppy seconds.
{53435}{53495}Youre a man ofprinciple.
{53498}{53606}Jerseys pretty far from McHenry.|May I askwhat broughtyou here?
{53609}{53683}Some fuck namedJohn Hughes.
{53686}{53736}Sixteen Candles John Hughes?
{53762}{53865}You know that guy too?|That fuckin guy.
{53867}{53950}He made this flick Sixteen Candles.|Not bad.
{53952}{54019}Theres tits in it, but no bush.
{54021}{54099}But Ebert over here dont give|a shit about that kind ofthing...
{54102}{54174}because hes like in love|with thisJohn Hughes guy.
{54176}{54240}He goes out and rents|every one ofhis movies.
{54243}{54376}Fuckin Breakfast Club, where stupid|kids actually show up for detention.
{54379}{54492}Fuckin WeirdScience, where this babe|wants to undress and get down...
{54494}{54589}but, oh, no, she dont,|because its a PG movie.
{54592}{54716}And then Prettyin Pink, which I cant|watch with this tubby bitch anymore...
{54719}{54820}because when the redhead hooks up|with her dream guy...
{54822}{54927}he starts sobbin like a little bitch|with a skinned knee and shit.
{54930}{55027}And theres nothing worse|than watchin a fuckin fat man weep.
{55029}{55088}What exactly broughtyou|to Illinois?
{55090}{55207}All these movies take place in this|small town called Shermer, Illinois...
{55209}{55332}where all the honeys are top-shelf|but all the dudes are whiny pussies.
{55335}{55424}Except forJudd Nelson.|He was fuckin harsh.
{55426}{55465}But best ofall...
{55467}{55530}there was no one dealin, man.
{55533}{55607}Then it hits me.|We could live like phat rats...
{55609}{55678}ifwe were the blunt connection|in Shermer, Illinois.
{55680}{55774}So we collected some money|we were owed and caught a bus.
{55777}{55869}Butyou know what the fuck|we found out when we got there?
{55872}{55959}There is no Shermer, Illinois.
{55961}{56020}Movies are fuckin bullshit.
{56022}{56141}- When areyou going back to NewJersey?|- This broad asks a lot ofquestions.
{56144}{56238}- Tomorrow.|- Tomorrow.
{56241}{56297}Yeah. Soyou do anal?
{56299}{56374}Is it true that chicks fart|ifyou blast them in the ass?
{56377}{56434}I didnt askyou out for sex.
{56436}{56494}Ill take head.
{56568}{56673}This is gonna sound really bad. I cant|believe lm even thinking about this.
{56751}{56809}I think I should go with you.
{56811}{56899}Like steady?|You wanna be my girlfriend?
{56933}{57021}All right, but Silent Bob gets|to live with us and you pay the rent.
{57023}{57108}No. I wanna go with you|to NewJersey.
{57110}{57142}Really?
{57145}{57207}Youre going to lead me somewhere.
{57210}{57259}Me lead you?
{57262}{57351}Lady, look at me. I dont even know|where I am halfthe time.
{57353}{57442}Ifwere not gonna fuck, then what|the fuck did you ask us out for?
{57445}{57566}Someone told me ld meetyou and youd|take me someplace I was supposed to go.
{57569}{57628}What the hell areyou babbling about?
{57631}{57711}We saved your ass from|some angry fuckin dwarves...
{57714}{57827}and now were supposed to takeyou|somewhere as ifwe know where it is?
{57885}{57938}Doyou believe in God?
{57982}{58080}Holy fuck! All the fiine, immoral bitches|out in front ofthat place...
{58082}{58140}and we gotta get the oneJesus freak?
{58142}{58179}- Lets get the fuck out ofhere.|- Wait.
{58182}{58232}- Ill scream rape.|- I can payyou.
{58261}{58304}Pay?
{58384}{58443}A hundred bucks|for being my guide.
{58445}{58567}You were going toJersey anyway.|All lm asking is to tag along.
{58570}{58674}I feel like Han Solo, youre Chewie,|and shes Ben Kenobi...
{58677}{58749}and were in that fucked-up bar!
{58751}{58796}What about sex?
{58799}{58839}No sex.
{58901}{59017}Lets saywere caught in a situation|where we have fiive minutes left to live.
{59019}{59123}A bomb or somethings gonna go off.|Would you fuck us then?
{59126}{59186}In that highly unlikely situation?
{59288}{59323}Yeah, sure.
{59370}{59417}Shes a slut.
{59487}{59534}All right.
{59598}{59642}But I get to drive.
{59915}{59989}What gear areyou in?
{59991}{60026}Gear?
{60295}{60372}What do I know about shiftin?
{60481}{60530}Like I ever drove before.
{60663}{60733}Indiana, Ohio, Pennsylvania...
{60735}{60777}NewJersey.
{60779}{60842}Maybeyoure wrong|about this slaughter thing.
{60845}{60968}How can you be sure what incurs the|Lords wrath these days? Times change.
{60971}{61082}I remember eating meat on a Friday|used to be a Hell-worthy trespass.
{61085}{61159}The major sins never change.
{61203}{61344}Besides, I can spot|a commandment-breaker from a mile away.
{61346}{61402}Bet on it.
{61404}{61485}This from the guywho still owes me|ten bucks over that bet...
{61488}{61583}about which was gonna be the bigger|movie-- ET or Krush Groove.
{61586}{61678}Fuckyou, man,|cause times gonna tell on that one.
{61786}{61892}Areyou insinuating that I dont have|what it takes anymore?
{61895}{61941}Insinuating, no.
{61944}{62020}Flat-out telling you.
{62111}{62173}Right there.|Theres one.
{62176}{62248}So? Theyre kissing.
{62250}{62279}Adultery.
{62281}{62350}- Adultery?|- Adultery.
{62352}{62411}You arejust a simple creature.
{62413}{62490}- Am I right?|- I happen to know the truth.
{62493}{62583}Im not gonna tell you. I want to see|how boned up on thejobyou are.
{62586}{62670}- Whats your proof?|- Hes wearing a wedding band.
{62672}{62752}And it never occurred toyou|that maybe shes his wife?
{62755}{62824}No married man kisses|his wife like that.
{62826}{62909}Okay. Its a good thing|you were never...
{62911}{63000}the deciding member on ajury|is all lm saying.
{63003}{63119}" No married man kisses|his wife like that"? Areyou stoned?
{63121}{63153}Excuse me.
{63237}{63281}Areyou married?
{63284}{63338}Why?
{63340}{63384}Im just curious.
{63386}{63455}What doyou think?
{63709}{63785}- What?|- To her?
{63788}{63849}- What?|- Areyou married to her?
{63852}{63955}Not that its any of|your fucking business, but no.
{63957}{64012}Why?
{65351}{65414}Whosehouse
{65417}{65491}Runshouse
{65493}{65571}Isaid, whosehouse
{65574}{65632}Runshouse
{65634}{65697}Whosehouse|Say what
{65700}{65770}Runshouse|Say what
{65772}{65827}Martin
{65942}{66033}Shes fuckin pissed, dude.|Shes never gonna fuck us now.
{66036}{66095}Maybeyou,|but defiinitely not me.
{66098}{66163}Let me know how she is.
{66166}{66252}Nobody is fucking me!|You got that?
{66277}{66345}I dont know what I was thinking|in that diner...
{66347}{66445}but being that lve decided to go home,|and not to NewJersey...
{66447}{66521}sorry for the inconvenience|and good-bye.
{66545}{66589}Youre breaking up with us?
{66628}{66699}Who the hell doyou think|you are, lady?
{66701}{66790}You cantjust go around|breaking peoples hearts like that!
{66793}{66892}I fell in love with you!|We fell in love with you!
{66894}{66987}Guys like usjust dont fall out|ofthe fuckin sky.
{67224}{67337}Beautiful, naked, big-tittied women|just dont fall out ofthe sky.
{67756}{67806}No heartbeat.
{67809}{67886}Think someone threw him out ofa plane|with a message written on him...
{67889}{67934}Iike in ConAir?
{67937}{68017}- Did you ever see that flick?|- Oh, did that suck!
{68020}{68099}- ConAir? Con Shit.|- Kill it!
{68102}{68194}- Sounds familiar.|-Jesus, areyou okay?
{68197}{68259}Yeah, its Rufus.|And yeah, lm fiine.
{68262}{68330}Hes the fucking undead!|Cut his head off!.
{68332}{68418}What I just did gave me|a fucking migraine!
{68420}{68542}So ifyou dont pipe down, lm gonna|yankyour sac offlike a paper towel.
{68545}{68619}Speaking ofwhich,|youre awfully nude.
{68621}{68704}- Rufus, is it?|- Yes, Rufus it is.
{68706}{68839}Its usually Long Rufus, but its|a little cold out here. You understand?
{68842}{68941}Big Papa, how about lending a brother|your coat till I fiind my own threads?
{68997}{69065}Dude, he fell out ofthin air.
{69099}{69199}Dude, his piece is gonna be rubbing|inside ofyour armor.
{69201}{69271}- Dude!|- Thanks a lot, baby.
{69307}{69372}Ill do my best to tuck it back.
{69375}{69449}Its been a while since physics|but I would think...
{69451}{69540}the impact with which you hit|the asphalt would have liquefiied you.
{69542}{69594}Death is a worry ofthe living.
{69597}{69701}The dead, like myself, onlyworry|about decay and necrophiliacs.
{69704}{69790}- Told you he was the undead.|- Not the undead. The dead.
{69792}{69822}I died.
{69825}{69891}Christ told me the secret|to the resurrection once.
{69894}{70001}We were at this wedding in Caanan.|I got drunk and forgot it.
{70004}{70057}Wait, wait, wait.
{70059}{70116}Christ?
{70118}{70180}You knew Christ?
{70183}{70244}Knew him?|Shit, nigga owes me 1 2 bucks.
{70247}{70302}Let me guess.
{70304}{70379}- Youre another angel?|- Oh, I aint no angel.
{70382}{70467}Im a man,just likeyou and him.|Well, maybe not him.
{70469}{70517}At least I was a man.
{70520}{70613}Been dead nearly 2,000 years.|Here, check this out.
{70648}{70743}No wonder he sawJesus.|Homeys rockin the ganj.
{70746}{70811}Its not ajoint.
{70814}{70883}I cant read this.
{70885}{71037}Its Aramaic. It says,|" Rufus, seeyou in twoyears.Jesus."
{71040}{71133}Freaked me out because He basically|told me when my numberwas up.
{71136}{71221}Took all the flavor out ofthe|remaining years. We gotta get moving.
{71223}{71332}Lets saywe continue this discussion|over a two-piece and a biscuit. Come on.
{71335}{71411}Im starvin.|Back off, Kato.
{71414}{71451}Wait a second!
{71490}{71565}Between guys with wings,|guys falling out ofthe sky...
{71568}{71629}and guys trying like hell|to fuck me...
{71632}{71721}I think lve been a pretty good sport|about all this so far.
{71724}{71827}But lm not going anywhere until|I fiind out where the hell you came from.
{71829}{71887}Me? I came from Heaven.
{71889}{71934}Now lets start walkin.
{71937}{72022}Walk? Fuckyou! Doyou know|how farwe are from anywheres?
{72024}{72150}Hey, man, back in the old days|withJ.C., we used to walk everywhere.
{72153}{72221}Did you ever hear of|a fat apostle?
{72359}{72426}What the hells an apostle?
{73138}{73177}Letmeget thisstraight.
{73179}{73247}Shes already met the prophets...
{73249}{73312}and the apostles with them?
{73401}{73468}I think that our best course|ofaction...
{73471}{73576}is to ensure that our parcel|is not found.
{73579}{73716}And being that I cant even|trustyou enough to kill a woman...
{73766}{73844}well, lm left with no choice...
{73847}{73968}but to seek outside assistance|in guarding said package.
{74071}{74133}Im gonna have to summon|the Golgothan.
{74227}{74300}I appreciate the loan, brother.|You can have that back.
{74302}{74403}Man, I rememberwhen all we used to have|for breakfast was fiish and goats milk.
{74405}{74479}- What doyou call this shit?|- Egga Mooby Muffiin.
{74481}{74575}Now, how boutyou start explaining|some things, like for starters...
{74578}{74621}how did you know|where to fiind us?
{74623}{74690}Doyou know what the dead do|with most oftheir time?
{74693}{74779}Watch the living.|Especially in the shower.
{74781}{74829}I cant wait to die.
{74832}{74887}And why areyou watching me?
{74889}{74966}Becauseyoure the one whos gonna|help me get some changes made...
{74969}{75019}in that book|you put so much stock in.
{75022}{75092}- Hustler?|- The Bible!
{75094}{75194}- Whats your beefwith the Bible?|- For starters, lm not in it.
{75196}{75273}Neither are any ofus, butyou|dont hear us bitchin and moanin.
{75276}{75379}But lm supposed to be in it.|I was the 1 3th Apostle.
{75426}{75548}Ive gone to church mywhole life and|never heard of Rufus, the 1 3th Apostle.
{75551}{75633}Butyou heard of|the other 1 2 Apostles.
{75636}{75744}Theywere all white boys, I might add.|But no mention ofme, Rufus.
{75747}{75822}And why is that?|Cause lm a black man.
{75825}{75886}Butyou know what?|Thatsjust my pet peeve.
{75889}{76022}Im mainly here to correct a major error|youve been basing your faith on.
{76025}{76131}- Whats that?|-Jesus wasnt white.Jesus was black.
{76134}{76168}I dont buy it.
{76171}{76296}Ifthats true, why did He get|written about and you were left out?
{76299}{76365}Well, He is the Son ofGod.
{76368}{76432}Kind ofhard to have|a New Testament without him.
{76435}{76519}Soyou fudge a few facts,|you put a spin on his ethnicity.
{76521}{76629}Leaving me out is okay causeyou|still got 1 2 white boys to choose from.
{76632}{76740}- Areyou gonna listen to this shit?|- Thats what people ofAntioch said...
{76743}{76798}right before they stoned my ass.
{76800}{76834}You were martyred?
{76837}{76895}Thats one way ofputtin it.
{76897}{76987}Anotherway is to say I was bludgeoned|to shit by big fucking rocks.
{76990}{77073}White folks onlywanna hear|the good shit--
{77076}{77145}Iife eternal,|a place in Gods Heaven.
{77147}{77223}But as soon as you hear|thatyoure gettin this good shit...
{77226}{77276}from a blackJesus, ya freak.
{77279}{77346}And that, my friends,|is called hypocrisy.
{77349}{77488}A black man can steal your stereo,|but he cant beyour savior.
{77491}{77531}You gonna eat that hash brown?
{77564}{77621}So, you went to Heaven?
{77623}{77720}Damn right I went to Heaven!|Thats the least He could do.
{77723}{77826}In the threeyears I followed His ass|aroundJerusalem, did I ever get laid?
{77828}{77922}Hell no.|And I was in my prime.
{77925}{77999}I could have been knee-deep|in shepherds daughters...
{78001}{78078}not to mention fiine-ass|Mary Magdalene.
{78081}{78139}She had a thing for dark meat,|ifyou follow me.
{78141}{78237}Maybe this isjust me talking,|but ifl were in Heaven...
{78240}{78328}I wouldnt care what the Bible said|as long as they got the message right.
{78330}{78393}The message is what counts.
{78396}{78510}But folks who build their faith|on that message should be colorblind.
{78512}{78603}And all my rabble-rousing|is not doing that much above.
{78606}{78664}So lm gonna need|some help down here.
{78666}{78777}Thats why lm gonna helpyou stop those|angels from gettin into that church...
{78780}{78857}in exchange foryou helping me|with my campaign.
{78860}{78942}How doyou know about that,|the angels?
{78945}{79038}- Isnt much I dont know aboutyou.|- I fiind that hard to believe.
{79041}{79170}When you were fiive, you let a kid|from next door piss on your hand.
{79172}{79274}You did that shit?|Youre nasty.
{79276}{79351}I never told anybody about that.
{79354}{79404}Neither did he.
{79407}{79492}Twoyears later,|that kid died ofleukemia.
{79494}{79574}His name was BrianJohnson.
{79577}{79640}Your exploits,|no matter how inane...
{79643}{79704}are well documented in Heaven.
{79707}{79762}Probably Hell too.
{79918}{79966}Where areyou going?
{79969}{80024}Tell me somethin about me.
{80026}{80115}You masturbate more than anyone|on the planet.
{80118}{80204}Fuck. Everyone knows that.|Tell me something nobody knows.
{80206}{80280}When you do it,|youre thinking about guys.
{80380}{80468}- Dude, not all the time.|- Sorry ifl scared you.
{80561}{80679}Two-thirds ofme wants to|forget about this and go home.
{80681}{80759}Yesterday, I wasnt sure|God even existed.
{80762}{80866}Now lm up to my ass|in Christian mythology.
{80869}{80985}Let me letyou in|on a little inside info.
{80987}{81128}God hates it when|its referred to as "mythology."
{81161}{81298}Oh, well, then lets ask the "prophets"|what we should call it instead.
{81394}{81471}Where did those two assholes go?
{81998}{82058}What areyou doing?
{82061}{82121}Proving to this bastard|I aint gay.
{82124}{82183}- What?|- Long story. Forget it.
{82186}{82256}We gotta get movin.|How can we get toJersey?
{82258}{82318}Well take the train.|Ill call for reservations.
{84022}{84111}I thought she looked familiar.
{84113}{84161}- Who?|- Serendipity.
{84561}{84593}Morning, shoppers.
{84596}{84648}Good morning.
{84676}{84749}- Has anyone seen the overnights?|- No, sir.
{84789}{84836}We creamed em.
{84917}{84996}Last night was a rerun,|which says to me--
{85073}{85131}Do I smell onions?
{85309}{85365}Excuse me.
{85467}{85541}May I askwhatyoure doing|in my boardroom?
{85570}{85658}You may proceed, monami.
{85762}{85826}Im gonna have to start|by apologizing.
{85829}{85917}My friend has a bit ofa penchant|for the dramatic.
{85919}{85966}Oh, come on!
{86066}{86124}Relax. Im doing it.
{86178}{86252}Mooby, the Golden Calf.
{86255}{86387}Created by Nancy Goldruff,|a former kindergarten teacher in 1 989.
{86389}{86471}Bought by the Complex Corporation|in 1 991 .
{86474}{86587}Broadcast nationally|as the " Mooby Fun-Time Hour."
{86589}{86723}Since its inception,|has spawned two theatrical fiilms...
{86726}{86845}1 6 records,|8 prime-time specials...
{86848}{86985}and a library|ofpriced-to-own videocassettes.
{86988}{87106}Not to mention|bicoastal theme parks...
{87109}{87185}dubbed " MoobyWorld."
{87188}{87258}Did I miss anything?
{87260}{87312}You forgot MoobyMagazine.
{87315}{87358}Damn it!
{87360}{87411}Is there a point to this?
{87414}{87526}You and your board are idolaters.
{87588}{87674}I cant believeyou forgot|the magazine.
{87738}{87784}Thats you.
{87822}{87887}Doyou know much about voodoo?
{87932}{88030}Thats a fascinating practice.|No real doctrine offaith to speak of.
{88033}{88114}More an arrangement|ofsuperstitions...
{88117}{88176}the most well-known ofwhich...
{88179}{88224}is the voodoo doll.
{88227}{88271}You see...
{88521}{88611}a mockup ofan individual|is subjected...
{88614}{88677}to various pokes and prods.
{88680}{88803}The desired result is that|the individual will feel those effects.
{88806}{88852}Call security, now!
{88989}{89075}All lines are currently down.
{89077}{89149}- Im gonna have to apologize--|- Would you knock it off?
{89151}{89225}Youre doing it again.|Stop. What did we talk about?
{89259}{89360}You are responsible|for raising an icon...
{89362}{89421}which draws worship|from the Lord.
{89423}{89492}You have broken|the First Commandment.
{89494}{89583}More than that,|lm afraid not a one ofyou...
{89586}{89668}passes for a decent human being.
{89671}{89804}Your continued existence|is a mockery ofmorality.
{89806}{89864}Likeyou, Mr. Burton.
{89866}{89970}Lastyear, you cheated on yourwife|of 1 7 years 8 times.
{89973}{90039}You even had sex|with her best friend...
{90042}{90172}whileyou were supposed to be home|watching the kids.
{90174}{90278}In the bed thatyou|and yourwife share, no less.
{90281}{90314}Mr. Newman.
{90317}{90398}You gotyour girlfriend drunk|at lastyears Christmas party...
{90401}{90470}and then paid a kid|from the mail room...
{90472}{90547}to have sex with her|while she was passed out...
{90550}{90628}just soyou could break up|with her guilt-free...
{90631}{90702}when she sobbingly confessed|in the morning.
{90745}{90830}She killed herself|three months later.
{90832}{90920}Mr. Brace disowned his gay son.
{90922}{90980}Very compassionate.
{90982}{91074}Mr. Ray put his mother|in a third-rate nursing home...
{91077}{91177}and used the profiits|from the sale ofher home...
{91179}{91294}to buy an Oriental rug for himself.
{91296}{91346}Heavens.
{91349}{91431}Mr. Barker flew to Thailand|on the company account...
{91434}{91543}to have sex|with an eleven-year-old boy.
{91546}{91637}Mr. Holtzman okayed the production|of Mooby Dolls...
{91640}{91722}from materials he knew|to be toxic and unsafe...
{91725}{91797}because it was-- survey says--
{91841}{91897}Iess costly.
{91899}{91988}You, on the other hand...
{91991}{92058}are an innocent.
{92061}{92117}You lead a good life.
{92119}{92151}Good foryou.
{92179}{92270}Butyou, Mr. Whitland...
{92273}{92332}you have more skeletons|in your closet...
{92334}{92392}than this assembled party.
{92394}{92474}I cannot even mention them aloud.
{92590}{92698}Youre his father,|you sick fuck!
{92791}{92838}- Good.|- Not bad, man.
{92841}{92899}Thats great work.|Very good.
{92937}{92984}Well...
{93020}{93084}alone at last.
{93087}{93162}With the exception of Miss Pryce here...
{93165}{93279}there isnt a decent human being|amongstyou.
{93281}{93333}Not one.
{93336}{93443}Doyou know what makes|a human being decent?
{93446}{93483}Fear.
{93486}{93548}And therein lies the problem.
{93551}{93639}None ofyou has anything|left to fear anymore.
{93641}{93744}You rest comfortably in seats|ofinscrutable power...
{93747}{93843}hiding behind your false idol,|far from judgment...
{93846}{93943}Iives shrouded in secrecy,|even from one another.
{93996}{94054}But not from God.
{94204}{94266}Forgot my little voodoo doll.
{94330}{94438}Man, it really looks|just likeyou, doesnt it?
{94441}{94553}Look, ifl believed enough in this...
{94556}{94603}I wonder--
{95106}{95188}Come on.|I dont believe in voodoo.
{95330}{95377}Voodoo.
{95599}{95676}But I do believe in this.
{95679}{95751}Dont run! Dont run!
{95753}{95836}Fakes! Fakes!|All ofyou, fakes!
{95911}{95978}" But I do believe in this."
{95981}{96024}What does that mean?
{96026}{96070}And one to grow on.
{96252}{96284}Gum?
{96325}{96402}Go on. Its okay.
{96405}{96466}Youve done nothing wrong.
{96469}{96561}These guys were fakes.
{96564}{96634}Youre a pure soul.
{96682}{96759}Butyou didnt say "God bless you"|when I sneezed.
{96792}{96835}Loki!
{96897}{96940}Youre getting offlight.
{96942}{97002}- Loki!|- I know. Im comin.
{97123}{97166}Youre so lucky.
{97297}{97383}I forgotyou were down here.|How long now?
{97385}{97428}Threeyears this August.
{97430}{97539}Let me guess-- the 1 4th Apostle, left|out ofthe Bible because shes a woman?
{97542}{97578}This girls no woman.
{97581}{97671}Oh. Those werent tits|I sawJay cozying up to?
{97674}{97725}What, these?
{97728}{97853}You should know better than anyone here|that tits dont make a woman.
{97856}{97928}Hell, the tubby, coat-wearing|motherfuckers got tits.
{97930}{98035}What traditionally defiines a woman|falls between two things--
{98038}{98088}her legs.
{98091}{98164}But as you can see...
{98166}{98218}I lack defiinition.
{98221}{98332}Hey, theyre gettin a free show!|Let me see that shit!
{98335}{98425}Oh, God,|another angel like Metatron.
{98428}{98507}How doyou--|How does she know Metatron?
{98510}{98569}This is the last scion.
{98597}{98679}Youre kidding.
{98682}{98731}Wow.
{98734}{98764}Im confused.
{98767}{98889}Bethany, Serendipity here|isnt technically an angel.
{98892}{99002}Nor is she, by any means,|a human being like I was and you are.
{99005}{99117}- I used to be an abstract.|- Now lm really confused.
{99120}{99166}Im a muse, stupid.
{99199}{99276}I cant take much more ofthis.
{99279}{99329}Soyou, what, inspire people?
{99332}{99413}Whatjust went down|with your friends over there--
{99416}{99503}It doesnt really take a muse to inspire|horny retards to empty theirwallets.
{99505}{99564}I used to specialize|in entertainment.
{99567}{99731}For example, lm responsible for 1 9 of|the 20 top-grossing fiilms ofall time.
{99734}{99811}- Nineteen?|- Yeah.
{99814}{99902}The one about the kid|by himselfin his house...
{99904}{99994}burglars trying to come in|and he fiights them off--
{99997}{100064}I had nothing to do|with that one.
{100067}{100197}Somebody sold their soul to Satan to get|the grosses up on that piece ofshit.
{100746}{100818}What areyou doing stripping?
{100820}{100863}Rememberwhy I left?
{100865}{100968}Becauseyou were tired ofgetting|none ofthe credit foryour ideas.
{100970}{101064}So I opted to quit being a muse|and write for myself.
{101067}{101184}I gave my two weeks notice,|got a body, 50 bucks...
{101186}{101277}and got sent out into the world|to make my fortune.
{101280}{101326}So what happened?
{101364}{101411}Writers block.
{101414}{101500}Can you believe it?|Me, a muse, for Gods sake.
{101502}{101622}I can inspire anyone I meet and give out|a zillion and nine ideas a second...
{101625}{101683}but I cant keep any for myself.
{101731}{101803}Her quirky sense ofhumor.
{101805}{101872}- Whose?|- Gods.
{101875}{101963}- Youre saying Gods a woman?|- Was there ever a doubt in your mind?
{101965}{102018}Hes always referred to as " Him."
{102021}{102075}Thats not how I wrote it.
{102078}{102136}But one ofthe drawbacks|to being intangible...
{102138}{102219}is thatyou have no say|in the editorial process.
{102222}{102313}The people that held the pens|added their own perspective...
{102316}{102391}and all the penholders were men.
{102394}{102512}So She became a He.|Doesnt stop with God either.
{102514}{102575}The whole books gender-biased.
{102578}{102644}A womans responsible|for original sin.
{102647}{102712}A woman cuts Samson coifofpower.
{102715}{102817}A woman asks for the head|ofJohn the Baptist.
{102819}{102863}Read that book again.
{102865}{102958}Women are painted as bigger antagonists|than the Egyptians and Romans combined.
{102961}{102998}It stinks.
{103190}{103242}Why is the last scion here?
{103245}{103334}Bartleby and Loki.|They found a way back.
{103336}{103431}- Not the plenary indulgence loophole.|- You know about that?
{103434}{103522}I always knew that thing|was a bad idea.
{103524}{103582}Leave it to the Catholics|to destroy existence.
{103584}{103659}You have issues with Catholicism,|I take it?
{103662}{103768}I have issues with anyone who treats God|like a burden instead ofa blessing...
{103771}{103812}Iike some Catholics.
{103814}{103903}You people dont celebrateyour faith,|you mourn it.
{103905}{104031}-Ifwere wrong, what religion is right?|-Its not about whos right orwrong.
{104034}{104092}No denominations nailed ityet...
{104094}{104172}because theyre all|too self-righteous to realize...
{104175}{104323}that it doesnt matterwhatyou have|faith in,just thatyou have faith.
{104325}{104458}Your hearts are in the right place,|butyour brains gotta wake up.
{104530}{104606}They made me and Silent Bob|part ofthe gang.
{104784}{104842}Who fuckin farted?
{104887}{104983}Not born.|Shit into existence.
{105087}{105172}Sweet Christ,|somebodywants you bad!
{105174}{105248}- What is that thing?|- An excremental.
{105251}{105318}- The Golgothan.|- A what?
{105321}{105363}A shit demon!
{105365}{105474}No man ofwoman born!
{105498}{105592}- Friend ofyours?|- Is this smelly fuckwith us?
{105595}{105643}It came for Bethany!
{105646}{105734}Smoke that motherfucker|like it aint no thang!
{105736}{105810}I knew ls gonna|whack somebody today!
{105812}{105870}Getyour fuckin hand back.
{105872}{105908}Represent!
{105950}{106023}Go! Go! Go!
{106662}{106735}Looks like were in charge|ofthe gang now.
{106776}{106821}Over the bar!
{107106}{107209}- Where did that thing come from?|- Ever heard ofGolgotha?
{107211}{107271}The hill where Christ|was crucifiied.
{107274}{107356}It wasntjust Christ.|The Romans crucifiied everyone there.
{107359}{107464}Christ excluded, theywere criminals--|killers, brigands, thieves, rapists.
{107467}{107560}Whenever the crucifiied expired,|their bodies lost muscle control...
{107563}{107638}spilling bowel and bladder|in the process...
{107641}{107727}the result ofwhich|is that walking pile ofcrap--
{107729}{107821}the Golgothan shit demon,|Hells chiefassassin.
{107824}{107877}Its here foryou, girlie.
{108015}{108081}- Bob, get down!|- Matches! Matches!
{109067}{109134}- Hey, man.|- How?
{109198}{109247}" Knocks strong odors out."
{109250}{109338}- Way to go, biggie.|- Whywould you ever carry this?
{109401}{109451}What?
{109454}{109512}Whoever sent this might send more.
{109514}{109632}I suggestyou take the princess|and get as far away as possible.
{109635}{109711}Ill try to get something|out ofpoopy boy here.
{109714}{109796}Ifhe tells me something,|lll letyou know.
{109836}{109904}Hello. Wed like two tickets|to NewJersey, please.
{109907}{109957}Jerseys sold out, sir.
{109960}{110037}- What?|- Theres one at the same time tomorrow.
{110040}{110158}Dont underestimate the staggering|drawing power ofthe Garden State.
{110160}{110230}Show up two hours in advance.
{110298}{110341}Nice.
{110343}{110431}Your hard-on for smiting|has prevented us from negotiating...
{110433}{110556}what ought to be the relatively simple|matter ofcatching or staying on a bus.
{110559}{110608}Bus, schmuss.
{110611}{110748}Why should we fall victim to gravity|when we canjust as easily rise above?
{110751}{110824}- You mean fly?|- We got wings, right?
{110826}{110873}Fuck, lets use em!
{110876}{110949}I wouldnt suggest that.
{110991}{111045}You see, kids...
{111048}{111151}you wouldnt want to look like|a couple offairies, now, would you?
{111320}{111382}Howd you get out of Hell?
{111385}{111452}I told them I was coming up|on a routine possession.
{111455}{111551}I dont have much time. Ifthey fiigure|out my ruse, theyll come after me.
{111554}{111665}-Whats with bringing us in here?|-You two are inches from getting caught.
{111668}{111772}Going around killing people,|about to uncaseyourwings.
{111775}{111833}Dontyou know whats going on?
{111835}{111893}Well, were going home.
{111895}{112028}Really. Areyou so clueless as to think|you canjust waltz back into Heaven?
{112031}{112107}- Why not?|- Everybody is looking foryou.
{112110}{112198}Both sides.|Above and below.
{112200}{112268}Orders are to terminateyou|on sight.
{112271}{112313}- Really?|- Why?
{112315}{112379}Becauseyoure pissing people off,|thats why.
{112420}{112499}Word is that Gods pissed off|atyour presumption...
{112502}{112599}and I know Lucifers pissed because|you assholes might make him look bad...
{112602}{112660}by succeeding|where hes failed so many times.
{112662}{112754}- So theyrejust gonna kill us?|- Theyre gonna try.
{112757}{112845}Thats whyyou have to travel|incognito.
{112847}{112938}Tone down your behavior.|Stay offtheir respective radars.
{112941}{112999}Quit killing people.|Thats high profiile.
{113001}{113088}- Oh, lighten up.|- I cant believe theywanna kill us.
{113090}{113148}Oh, believe it, boys.
{113185}{113252}Theyve even got the last scion|looking foryou.
{113255}{113307}- Really?|- Youre kidding.
{113310}{113399}This is huge. Your reentry|is a thorn in a lot ofsides.
{113402}{113460}Theyll stop at nothing|to prevent it.
{113462}{113559}In the meantime, I suggestyou fiind|an alternate mode oftransportation.
{113562}{113623}Ifanything else comes up,|lll contactyou.
{113626}{113721}Thankyou, Azrael.|Youre a true friend.
{113724}{113812}I have to get back to the pit|before they get suspicious.
{113814}{113923}And remember, incognito.
{114056}{114134}Howyou coping, kid?
{114137}{114187}Its weird.
{114190}{114267}Just when I think|I have a handle on things...
{114270}{114367}something wholly unbelievable|presents itself.
{114370}{114446}Sometimes I wish|ldjust stayed home.
{114449}{114528}You sound like the Man.
{114531}{114573}Whats he like?
{114575}{114651}He likes to listen to people talk.
{114654}{114757}Christ loved to sit around the fiire,|listen to me and the other guys.
{114759}{114830}Wheneverwe were going on|about unimportant shit...
{114832}{114897}he always had a smile|on his face.
{114900}{114961}His only real beefwith mankind...
{114964}{115061}is the shit that gets carried out|in His name.
{115064}{115166}Wars, bigotry, televangelism.
{115168}{115277}The big one, though,|is the factioning ofall the religions.
{115280}{115338}He said mankind|got it all wrong...
{115340}{115444}by taking a good idea|and building a beliefstructure on it.
{115447}{115526}Youre saying having beliefs|is a bad thing?
{115529}{115591}I just think its better|to have ideas.
{115594}{115687}You can change an idea.|Changing a beliefis trickier.
{115690}{115764}People die for it.|People kill for it.
{115767}{115840}The whole ofexistence|is injeopardy right now...
{115842}{115996}because ofthe Catholic beliefstructure|regarding this plenary indulgence shit.
{115999}{116066}Bartleby and Loki,|whether they know it or not...
{116069}{116127}are exploiting that belief...
{116129}{116173}and iftheyre successful...
{116175}{116300}you, me, all ofthis|ends in a heartbeat.
{116303}{116362}All over a belief.
{116430}{116548}I havent seen the moron twins|in a while. How aboutyou?
{116551}{116643}One time we were at the mall,|we tied Tubby to the ceiling...
{116646}{116746}and he went flying through the air,|fuckin crashed through the wall.
{116748}{116791}It was fucked up.
{116793}{116881}You two arent getting into|any trouble, areyou?
{116883}{116980}Werejust about to smoke a fatty|with these two suave motherfuckers...
{116983}{117079}whojust got on at the last stop--|Larry and Barry.
{117128}{117204}So,Jay tells us|youre gonna sleep with him.
{117346}{117419}Hit this shit, man.|Its good stuff.
{117460}{117503}Oh, fuck.
{117610}{117683}Thats some bad shit, dude.
{117685}{117743}You hit that?
{117815}{117873}Yeah, youre bad, dude.
{117969}{118013}Bad shit.
{118043}{118117}Why areyou|heading to NewJersey?
{118120}{118223}Itsjust this thing I have to do.
{118225}{118269}Were going home.
{118272}{118354}Oh.|Doyou two live together?
{118357}{118412}Unfortunately, yes.
{118492}{118574}So, how long haveyou two|been together?
{118613}{118667}A while.
{118670}{118781}He can be pretty flaky sometimes,|but we have a lot in common.
{118784}{118831}Howd you meet?
{118834}{118881}We were stationed together.
{118884}{118955}See, thats beautiful.
{118957}{119073}Everybodys always up in arms|about this "out in the military" issue.
{119106}{119138}Pardon?
{119141}{119269}You know, theres all the macho bullshit|about it being "this mans army."
{119272}{119339}You two meet there, hook up--
{119369}{119463}You thinkwere lovers?|No, no. Were not gay.
{119466}{119539}Oh, God.|Im sorry.
{119541}{119634}- I just assumed.|- Do I come offas gay?
{119719}{119814}My ex-husband sort ofscrewed up|my relationship awareness barometer.
{119817}{119893}- Youre divorced.|- Thats a nice way ofputting it.
{119896}{119943}I call it being dumped.
{119946}{120005}I was...
{120008}{120057}dumped once.
{120060}{120148}Dontyoujust constantly|question yourvalue?
{120150}{120228}Like, whywas I so easy|to cast aside?
{120231}{120338}And you wonder ifthe other party|is gonna come to their senses...
{120341}{120384}and call you back.
{120386}{120489}They always tell you|itll hurt less with time.
{120492}{120554}When actually...
{120557}{120607}it hurts more.
{120710}{120776}You know what we need?
{120779}{120833}What do we need?
{120836}{120881}We need drinks.
{120931}{120988}We need a lot ofdrinks.
{121036}{121094}Garcon.
{121286}{121346}You still go to church?
{121349}{121413}Every Sunday.
{121416}{121488}Does it do anything foryou?
{121490}{121584}It gives me time to balance|my checkbook everyweek.
{121587}{121708}Thats what lm saying. People dont|go to church to feel spiritual anymore.
{121711}{121778}They go to church and feel bored...
{121781}{121883}but they keep going everyweek|just out ofhabit.
{121885}{121953}I am so buzzed.
{122002}{122090}When doyou think|you lostyour faith?
{122092}{122158}I remember the exact moment.
{122238}{122349}I was on the phone with my mother...
{122352}{122470}and she was trying to counsel me|through this--
{122505}{122548}this thing.
{122611}{122744}And when nothing she was saying|was making me feel any better...
{122746}{122804}she said...
{122806}{122863}" Bethany...
{122865}{122923}God has a plan.
{123025}{123135}I was-- I was so angrywith her.
{123199}{123246}I was like...
{123249}{123307}"What about my plans?"
{123309}{123364}- You know?|- Mm-hmm.
{123367}{123457}I had planned|to have a family...
{123460}{123509}with my husband.
{123512}{123600}Wasnt that plan|good enough for God?
{123717}{123775}Apparently not.
{123874}{123993}How aboutyou?|Howd you loseyour faith?
{124029}{124095}A long time ago.
{124098}{124202}One day Godjust stopped listening.
{124205}{124341}I kept talking, but I got the distinct|impression He wasnt listening anymore.
{124344}{124448}How did you know She was listening|in the fiirst place?
{124534}{124592}Well, I guess I dont.
{124594}{124660}I hate thoughts like that.
{124695}{124786}But, you know,|they come toyou with age.
{124789}{124920}Cause when youre a kid you never|question the whole faith thing.
{124966}{125048}Gods in Heaven, and Hes--
{125051}{125154}Shes always got her eye on you.
{125289}{125377}Id give anything|to feel that way again.
{125530}{125626}Guess thats why|I got talked into this pilgrimage.
{125872}{125938}Where is this pilgrimage to?
{125941}{126036}- You wouldnt believe me ifl told you.|- Try me.
{126039}{126108}All right, but I warned you.
{126111}{126161}Okay.
{126164}{126271}Im going to this church|in NewJersey.
{126274}{126327}Really.
{126330}{126463}KerwoodMandelto carthree.|KerwoodMandelto carthree.
{126465}{126568}See, lm supposed to stop|a couple ofangels...
{126571}{126629}from going into the church.
{126686}{126741}Theyre trying--
{126744}{126787}Shit.
{126841}{126914}Theyre trying|to get back into Heaven.
{127015}{127092}See, they got tossed|out of Heaven...
{127095}{127139}years ago, right?
{127171}{127236}And ifthey get back in...
{127239}{127294}it proves God wrong...
{127297}{127391}and since God is infallible...
{127394}{127446}to prove Herwrong...
{127449}{127546}would, you know, unmake existence.
{127600}{127663}Maylhaveyourattention, please.
{127666}{127793}The diningcar willbe closing|in fiiveminutes. Thankyou.
{127796}{127874}I feel so stupid...
{127877}{127935}just saying it.
{127979}{128048}The thing I dont get is...
{128051}{128131}how am I supposed to stop|an angel?
{128134}{128177}Two, even!
{128331}{128431}I guess lm supposed to|talk them out ofit or something.
{128434}{128497}Maybeyoure supposed to kill them.
{128500}{128595}Oh, yeah, right.|Kill them.
{128636}{128770}I mean, even ifthat were the case,|which its not...
{128808}{128898}how doyou kill an angel, Barry?
{128922}{128982}Oh...
{128985}{129042}I dont suppose|its much different from...
{129074}{129117}killing a human.
{129160}{129237}Where is everybody?|I wake up and--
{129296}{129354}- The apostle.|- Holy shit!
{129356}{129446}Rufus, I wantyou to meet|my new friend Barry.
{129547}{129606}Dont be such a show-off, Barry.
{129609}{129691}Take it easy, Bartleby.|Just let her go.
{129694}{129761}- We can talk about this.|- Bartleby?
{129764}{129871}After all this time, it comes down|to slaughter by a meat puppet?
{129874}{129961}Getyour fucking hands offme,|you dickless son ofa bitch!
{129963}{130050}Save it. Five minutes ago|you were aching to top me off.
{130052}{130080}Loki!
{130112}{130149}Holy shit. The apostle.
{130152}{130214}I didnt come in you, Pete,|I swear.
{130217}{130276}What areyou doing here?
{130279}{130337}This woman has to stop two angels|from entering a church.
{130339}{130397}- Us?|- No, two other fucking angels.
{130399}{130508}Id say theres a pretty good chance.|Rufus, were to be liquidated?
{130511}{130594}You havent thought about|the consequences ofyour reentry.
{130597}{130647}Consequences, schmonsequences.
{130650}{130738}Were going home,|no matterwhose pride it may hurt.
{130740}{130814}- Its not a matter ofpride!|- Loki, kill the girl.
{130817}{130897}What areyou, high? I cant kill her|ifshe hasnt done anything.
{130900}{130943}Fine.|Ill kill her myself.
{130945}{131014}I fall asleep|and everyone takes off?
{131017}{131093}- These guys are fuckin flat-leavers.|- Shut his mouth.
{131395}{131442}Oh, shit!
{131486}{131530}Jay!
{131565}{131601}Biggie!
{131604}{131678}The door! The door!
{131792}{131859}Cant we talk about this?
{132024}{132113}Why dont I just get off|at the next stop!
{133312}{133355}No ticket.
{133454}{133534}- The apostle is here.|- I noticed.
{133537}{133641}- Then you know who she was, dontyou?|- The scion, I imagine!
{133668}{133728}Maybe we should rethink|this whole thing.
{133731}{133826}I mean, you heard the guy.|He said there are consequences.
{133829}{133947}And Azrael tells us were marked?|Theres more to this than we thought of.
{133950}{134010}I was close.
{134013}{134107}You know? I was so close|to slitting that bitchs throat.
{134110}{134142}Whoa.
{134145}{134242}You know how I felt?|Righteous.
{134245}{134292}Justifiied.|Eager, even.
{134295}{134356}You all right?|Your eyes are kinda--
{134359}{134422}My eyes are open.
{134425}{134483}For the fiirst time I get it.
{134485}{134598}When that little innocent girl|let her mission slip, I had an epiphany.
{134601}{134713}See, in the beginning it was|just us and Him-- angels and God.
{134716}{134768}Then He created humans.
{134771}{134861}Ours was designed to be|a life ofservitude and worship...
{134864}{134961}and bowing and scraping and adoration.
{134964}{135097}He gave them more than He ever gave us.|He gave them a choice.
{135099}{135197}They choose to acknowledge God|or choose to ignore Him.
{135200}{135258}All this time|weve been down here...
{135260}{135337}Ive felt the absence|ofthe Divine Presence...
{135340}{135438}and its pained me,|as lm sure it must have pained you.
{135441}{135559}And why?|Because ofthe way He made us.
{135562}{135661}Had we been given free will we could|choose to ignore the pain, like they do.
{135664}{135717}But no, were servants.
{135720}{135780}Okay.
{135783}{135888}All lm saying here is that|one ofus might need a little nap.
{135891}{136008}Wake up! These humans have besmirched|everything Hes bestowed upon them.
{136010}{136068}Theywere given paradise;|they threw it away.
{136070}{136143}Theywere given this planet;|they destroyed it.
{136145}{136221}Theywere favored best|among all His endeavors...
{136224}{136323}and some ofthem|dont even believe He exists!
{136326}{136388}And in spite ofit all...
{136391}{136502}He has shown them|infiinite fucking patience...
{136505}{136558}at every turn.
{136561}{136606}What about us?
{136642}{136730}I asked you once...
{136732}{136820}to lay down the sword|because I felt sorry for them.
{136822}{136876}What was the result?
{136879}{136946}Our expulsion from paradise.
{136949}{137026}Where was His|infiinite fucking patience then?
{137029}{137114}Its not right!|lts not fair!
{137116}{137174}Weve paid our debt!
{137218}{137300}Dontyou think its time?
{137303}{137389}Dontyou think its time|we went home?
{137440}{137588}And to do that, I thinkwe may have to|dispatch ourwould-be dispatchers.
{137591}{137671}Wait. Wait, wait.|Kill them?
{137705}{137786}Youre talking about the last scion,|for Christs sake.
{137789}{137877}And what aboutJay and Bob?|Those guys were all right.
{137879}{137925}Dont.|Dont, my friend.
{137928}{138036}Dont letyour sympathies|get the best ofyou.
{138039}{138083}They did me once.
{138086}{138143}Scion or not...
{138145}{138188}shesjust a human...
{138190}{138284}and by passing through that arch|our sins are forgiven.
{138287}{138346}No harm, no foul.
{138382}{138470}My God.|Ive heard a rant like this before.
{138516}{138557}What did you say?
{138559}{138651}- Ive heard a rant like this before.|- Dontyou do that to me.
{138654}{138744}- You sound like the morning star.|- You shutyour fucking face!
{138747}{138839}You sound like Lucifer, man!|Youve fucking lost it!
{138842}{138919}Youre not talking about|going home, Bartleby.
{138922}{138998}Youre talking about|fucking war on God.
{139041}{139088}Well, fuck that.
{139091}{139222}I have seen what happens to the proud|when they take on the Throne.
{139252}{139314}Im going back to Wisconsin.
{139346}{139412}Were going home, Loki...
{139415}{139536}and no one, notyou,|not even the Almighty Himself...
{139539}{139597}is gonna make that otherwise.
{139792}{139835}Shit.
{139871}{139979}Why couldnt we stay on the train?|You threw those guys off.
{139982}{140033}Very basic strategy.
{140036}{140139}Ifyour enemies know whereyou are,|then dont be there.
{140141}{140174}Why are we enemies?
{140177}{140277}Well, I know ld perceive the person|sent to kill me as an enemy.
{140280}{140382}What does that mean? Since when|am I supposed to kill anybody?
{140384}{140493}Im tired|ofall this cryptic bullshit.
{140496}{140572}Im physically and psychologically|exhausted, Rufus...
{140575}{140672}and lm ready to kick back|and welcome the end ofexistence...
{140675}{140746}unless you come clean right now.
{140749}{140811}Why me?
{140814}{140918}Out ofall the people|on the goddamn planet, whywas I tapped?
{140921}{141009}Imagineyoure a 1 2-year-old boy.
{141046}{141166}Youre told youre Gods only son,|but more than that, youre God.
{141169}{141276}How long doyou think it would take to|come to grips with something that huge?
{141279}{141358}Maybe, say, 1 8 years?
{141361}{141513}In the Bible,Jesus suddenly|goes from age 1 2 to 30. 1 2 to 30.
{141516}{141582}Now, thats some pretty bad|storytelling.
{141585}{141673}Where are the volumes oftext|dealing with the missing 1 8 years?
{141675}{141714}Ill tell you where.
{141717}{141858}Theywere offered up as a sacrifiice|to the god ofecumenical politics.
{141861}{141951}You make it sound like|theres some church conspiracy...
{141954}{142036}to cover up|"the truth about Christ."
{142107}{142150}Oh, bullshit.
{142152}{142211}Any important material|about Christ...
{142214}{142291}would give people a better understanding|ofthe nature ofGod.
{142294}{142414}- Whywould they leave any ofit out?|- Because its tied in with His family.
{142417}{142507}- His mother and father.|- His brothers and sisters.
{142510}{142637}Jesus didnt have brothers and sisters.|Marywas a virgin.
{142640}{142771}Mary gave birth to Christ without having|known a mans touch. This is true.
{142773}{142831}But she did have a husband.
{142833}{142943}Doyou really think he wouldve stayed|married to her for all thoseyears...
{142946}{142993}ifhe wasnt gettin laid?
{142996}{143099}The nature ofGod and the Virgin Birth,|those are leaps offaith.
{143101}{143228}But to believe a married couple never|got down, thatsjust plain gullibility.
{143231}{143264}Meaning?
{143267}{143325}The blood that flows|through yourveins...
{143327}{143407}shares a chromosome or two|at the genetic level...
{143410}{143462}with the oneyou calIJesus.
{143495}{143552}Bethany, you are...
{143554}{143704}the great-great-great-great-great-great-|great-great-great-great-grandniece...
{143707}{143765}ofJesus Christ.
{143881}{144001}So, that would make Bethany|part black?
{144143}{144201}I cant do this anymore.
{144355}{144453}Whereyou gonna go?|You know what lm saying is right.
{144456}{144509}- Its bullshit.|- Bethany.
{144512}{144559}Its bullshit!
{144670}{144740}Let her go, man.
{144743}{144787}Give her time.
{145007}{145067}Why?
{145070}{145158}What the fuck do You want from me?
{145160}{145232}I fucking hate You!
{145260}{145309}I hate You.
{145312}{145379}He cant hearyou, you know.
{145552}{145613}Thats whywe needed you.
{145616}{145684}Why didntyou tell me?
{145687}{145721}Would you--
{145754}{145822}Could you have believed me?
{145846}{145921}It was something|you had to come to gradually.
{145949}{146017}Only after everything youve seen...
{146052}{146084}everything youve heard...
{146145}{146237}could you possibly be able|to accept the truth.
{146240}{146299}I dont want this.
{146397}{146458}Its too big.
{146461}{146511}Thats whatJesus said.
{146577}{146635}I had to tell Him.
{146731}{146821}You can imagine|how that hurt the Father...
{146854}{146923}not to be able|to tell the Son Himself...
{146926}{147015}because one word from His lips would|destroy the boys frail human form.
{147018}{147118}So I had to deliver the news|to a scared child...
{147121}{147187}who wanted nothing more|than to playwith other children.
{147190}{147313}I had to tell this little boy|that He was Gods only son...
{147316}{147404}and it meant a life ofpersecution|and eventual crucifiixion...
{147406}{147502}at the hands ofthe very people|Hed come to enlighten and redeem.
{147569}{147633}He begged me to take it all back.
{147676}{147723}As ifl could.
{147775}{147858}He begged me to|"make it all not true."
{147861}{147993}Ill letyou in on something, Bethany,|something lve never told anyone before.
{148037}{148095}Ifl had the power...
{148139}{148182}I would have.
{148204}{148239}Its unfair.
{148242}{148351}Its unfair to ask a child|to shoulder that responsibility...
{148354}{148422}and to askyou to do the same now.
{148425}{148476}I sympathize. I do.
{148479}{148552}I wish I could take it all back.
{148626}{148673}But I cant.
{148760}{148803}This...
{148840}{148902}is whoyou are.
{148960}{149037}Everything I am has been a lie?
{149159}{149296}Knowing whatyou now know|doesnt mean youre not whoyou were.
{149299}{149332}You are...
{149335}{149382}Bethany Sloane.
{149385}{149473}No one can take that away from you,|not even God.
{149529}{149670}All this means is|a redefiinition ofthat identity.
{149673}{149781}The incorporation ofthis new data|into whoyou are.
{149784}{149849}Be whoyouve always been.
{149882}{149916}Just...
{149945}{149993}be this as well...
{150046}{150121}from time to time.
{150229}{150317}Guess this means|no more cheating on my taxes.
{150319}{150386}To say the least.
{150631}{150707}Doyou mind ifwe adjourn|to somewhere...
{150710}{150788}a tad more habitable...
{150791}{150838}and a bit warmer?
{151284}{151364}Fuck, I think this shit|just kicked in.
{151367}{151453}Werent wejust in the woods?|What are we doing here now?
{151455}{151514}Going out in style.
{151517}{151594}- The voice.|- The apostle.
{151597}{151651}Now, whos this motherfucker?
{151654}{151719}The voice ofGod.|Show some respect.
{151722}{151795}Oh, the voice ofGod.|Wheres the rest of Him?
{151797}{151864}Funnyyou should mention that.|Were not sure.
{151867}{151949}- What?|- Didnt it ever occur toyou...
{151952}{152072}that this Bartleby-Loki situation was|well within the sphere of His control?
{152075}{152127}Yes, but then whywas she tapped?
{152130}{152249}You know those constitutionals|that He likes to take?
{152252}{152289}"Constitutionals"?
{152292}{152366}I thinkwere beyond euphemisms|at this point.
{152369}{152427}Gods a skeeball fanatic.
{152465}{152556}The Lord has quite a fancy for the game.|Hes been playing it foryears.
{152559}{152619}He assumes a human form once a month|and indulges.
{152622}{152727}Doesnt tell anyone where Hes playing.|Hejust goes away for a couple ofhours.
{152730}{152838}And He always gives His free points away|to neighborhood children.
{152841}{152884}Isnt that sweet?
{152886}{152993}But She hasnt come back|from one ofthese day trips?
{152996}{153067}No, "She" hasnt...
{153070}{153154}and weve been unable to locate " Her."
{153157}{153256}He couldve been killed.|Human form does have that drawback.
{153259}{153375}No, theres a different sort|offoul play afoot, children.
{153409}{153513}Whomever has set the renegade angels|on their path...
{153516}{153589}and is keeping them|quite well hidden...
{153591}{153680}is also responsible|for the Lords whereabouts.
{153683}{153750}Were He to be killed in human form...
{153753}{153832}Hed have returned|immediately to Heaven.
{153835}{153894}Someone knew enough...
{153897}{153960}to keep Him biologically alive...
{153963}{154052}but incapacitate Him|in another fashion.
{154054}{154136}And as omnipotent as we are above...
{154139}{154242}I have to admit that were|more or less lost without His presence.
{154245}{154303}Weve looked everywhere for Him.
{154305}{154450}I tapped her because I thought wed be|able to smoke out whoevers behind this.
{154453}{154551}But whoever he is has been clever enough|to send some lackeys afteryou...
{154554}{154616}as opposed to showing up|themselves.
{154619}{154671}Could it be Lucifer?
{154674}{154715}Not Lucifer.
{154718}{154823}Ifhe was, hed have made|his move by now to conquer Heaven.
{154826}{154914}And I know hes not responsible|for Bartleby and Loki...
{154916}{155012}because hes hadjust as much to lose|by their return as anybody else.
{155015}{155059}What do we do now?
{155061}{155146}I saywe get drunk,|cause lm all out ofideas.
{155149}{155238}Why dont wejust ask this guy|to close the church?
{155240}{155294}I beg your pardon?
{155297}{155355}The guy in charge|ofthe church thing.
{155440}{155497}Cardinal Glick?
{155499}{155563}Maybe we can ask him|to shut down the church.
{155566}{155666}Ifits closed that day, those guys|cant get blessed orwhatever, right?
{155669}{155707}Good Lord.
{155710}{155771}The little stoners got a point.
{155774}{155911}Maybe we could talk this guy Glick into|cancelling the rededication ceremony.
{155914}{155974}"We"?
{155977}{156069}Areyou saying youre back in,|Ms. I-Dont-Think-l-Can-Do-This-Anymore?
{156199}{156298}I wouldnt want to let the family down,|now would l?
{156385}{156413}Well...
{156450}{156564}the prophets fiinally|live up to their titles.
{156567}{156661}Mass attendance is at|an all-time low in this country...
{156664}{156798}but ifwe can let em know the|Catholic Church has a little panache...
{156801}{156892}we can win em back,|even get some new ones.
{156895}{156942}Excuse me.
{157004}{157052}Fill them pews, people.
{157055}{157143}Thats the key.|Grab the little ones as well.
{157145}{157219}Hook em while theyreyoung.
{157222}{157346}- Kinda like the tobacco industry.|- Christ, ifonlywe had their numbers.
{157349}{157442}We really appreciateyou seeing us|this late in the day, Your Eminence.
{157445}{157552}My friends and I have been traveling|all night in hope oftalking toyou...
{157555}{157629}about the St. Michaels|rededication ceremony.
{157632}{157706}You looking to help out in some way?
{157709}{157792}Wed likeyou to cancel the ceremony.
{157825}{157873}I beg your pardon.
{157876}{157996}Theres gonna be a world oftrouble if|tomorrows ceremony goes on as planned.
{158029}{158113}Areyou pro-choice?
{158116}{158163}The troubles not from us.
{158166}{158266}Its from these renegade angels thatve|been stuck on Earth since the plagues.
{158349}{158424}These guys,|they think theyre renegade angels.
{158427}{158492}See, Padre, it goes down like this.
{158495}{158636}These guys think that by passing through|that archway, they can go to Heaven.
{158639}{158747}You want me to call offthe ceremony|for that.
{158780}{158813}Who sentyou?
{158876}{158967}We were sent|by Him who is called I Am!
{158970}{159047}Cute. Really cute.
{159050}{159121}Playtime with the cardinal is over.
{159124}{159202}- Worked for Moses.|- Stay out ofthis.
{159205}{159253}Its not ajoke.
{159256}{159348}Im telling you, man,|this ceremonys a big mistake.
{159351}{159440}The Catholic Church|does not make mistakes.
{159442}{159530}Please! What about the Churchs|silent consent ofthe slave trade?
{159532}{159608}And its platform ofnoninvolvement|during the Holocaust?
{159611}{159684}All right, mistakes were made.
{159686}{159778}But one can hardly hold the current|incarnation of Holy Mother Church...
{159781}{159841}responsible for the oversights ofold.
{159844}{159956}Im a very important man with important|matters that demand my attention...
{159959}{160003}so ifyou please--
{160006}{160088}- But tomorrow--|- Tomorrow goes offwithout a hitch.
{160091}{160131}Do I make myselfclear?
{160134}{160273}Neitheryou nor any other influence|short ofthe hand ofGod Himself...
{160276}{160364}is gonna keep this thing|from going offwithout a hitch.
{160993}{161053}I can see the headlines now...
{161056}{161114}ifthere were gonna be any.
{161116}{161164}" Existence Erased."
{161167}{161233}Dont worry about it.|We evened the score.
{161236}{161306}Hand it over, Silent Bob.
{161382}{161416}What up.
{161419}{161486}You stole the cardinals driver?
{161489}{161553}Thats what he gets|for messin with our girlfriend.
{161556}{161608}Cross-dressin fuck.
{161611}{161684}Thats sort ofsweet.|Thanks, guys.
{161737}{161825}What do we do now|about Bartleby and Loki?
{161827}{161922}I guess were gonna|have to try and kill em.
{161925}{161988}- You said they couldnt be killed.|- Correction.
{162037}{162118}Theywont be killed.
{162121}{162212}Andjust to ensure that,|were all gonna sit tight...
{162215}{162252}right here...
{162255}{162346}until those two idiots|pass through that arch.
{162380}{162441}Theres only one idiot here,|Azrael...
{162541}{162605}and lm looking right at him.
{162608}{162653}Muse!
{162694}{162787}Just in time tojoin us|for a drink.
{162832}{162864}Hey.|Whered you come from?
{162920}{162978}- Whered you come from?|- Me?
{162980}{163025}Nothingness.
{163028}{163139}And thats where lm returning to|in approximately, oh, one hour.
{163142}{163248}All right, Plato,|sounds likeyouve had enough already.
{163251}{163325}- Lets go.|- Oh, darn it!
{163328}{163437}Come on, barkeep,just one drink.|One for the road, then lm gone?
{163440}{163533}I was trying to fiind you to tell you|I fiigured out who was behind all this.
{163536}{163588}Is that who I think it is?
{163591}{163629}- None other than.|- Who is he?
{163632}{163714}All right, one drink.|Then youre gone.
{163717}{163781}Give me a...
{163784}{163858}Holy Bartender.
{163860}{163917}Never heard ofit.
{163919}{164034}He doesnt know how to make|a Holy Bartender.
{164037}{164095}You do, dontyou, Muse?
{164097}{164128}Dont.
{164162}{164196}Anybody?
{164199}{164243}No?
{164246}{164351}Well, I know how to make|a Holy Bartender.
{164609}{164641}Get it?
{164644}{164711}SweetJesus, Azrael!|Why?
{164714}{164819}Come on, Demon! Try that shit|on somebodywhos already dead!
{164822}{164925}Oh, Apostle, you maintain|that kind ofan attitude...
{164927}{165017}and you and the barkeep wont be|the only corpses in the room.
{165020}{165084}The Christ bitch will join you.
{165087}{165181}Areyou really that stupid?
{165184}{165289}You do know whats gonna happen|ifthose twojerks enter that church.
{165292}{165362}Im actually counting on it.
{165400}{165464}And ifmy calculations|are correct...
{165467}{165548}the pawns are moving into checkmate|as we speak.
{165698}{165803}" Holy Bartender." I get it.|Thats a great one!
{165806}{165932}Id also like to acknowledge this great|states governor, Elizabeth Dalton...
{165935}{165988}for coming this morning.
{165991}{166079}Shes a Protestant, but were|not gonna hold that against her.
{166129}{166269}Now, let mejust tell you a little bit|ofhistory about this particular...
{166272}{166351}hundred-years-young house ofGod.
{166354}{166392}Gods house?
{166434}{166515}God doesnt live here anymore.
{166518}{166601}Hes grown weary|ofyour superfiicial faith.
{166604}{166692}Hes turned a deafear|toyour lip-service prayers.
{166694}{166793}- He has abandoned you, his favorites...|- Sorry.
{166796}{166854}to the whim ofjudgment.
{166856}{166931}Hypocrites, charlatans...
{166982}{167060}prepare to taste Gods wrath.
{167063}{167151}-Maybe we shouldjust leave.|-You wanted your body count. You got it.
{167153}{167231}This lot is rife with sin.|Well judge them all.
{167234}{167271}Offiicer McGhee.
{167296}{167348}All right, mouthpiece...
{167351}{167434}Iets leave the nice cardinal alone|and go for a ride.
{167437}{167508}Mr. McGhee, dont make me angry.
{167511}{167569}You wouldnt like me when lm angry.
{167571}{167626}Is that so?
{167755}{167807}Ladies and gentlemen...
{167810}{167974}you have beenjudged as guilty of|violations against ourAlmighty God...
{167977}{168048}and this very day...
{168051}{168163}I assureyou you will all|pay foryour trespasses...
{168166}{168218}in blood.
{168221}{168289}- Wings. Now.|- Im feeling a little exposed here.
{168292}{168323}Do it!
{168360}{168441}- So hes a muse too?|- Former muse.
{168492}{168593}He was kicked out.
{168596}{168670}Ever the fucking apple polisher.
{168672}{168704}Then what happened?
{168707}{168771}Yes, what?
{168774}{168892}Well, Luciferjust had to start|his little war for the throne.
{168895}{168971}Heaven became divided|into two factions--
{168974}{169039}the faithful and the renegades.
{169042}{169126}Oh, the Ethereal Plains|were chaotic with battle.
{169129}{169212}Angel against angel.
{169215}{169318}And when it was all over,|God cast the rebels into perdition.
{169320}{169377}But Azrael refused to fiight.
{169379}{169483}He remained in the middle,|waiting to see who came out victorious.
{169486}{169548}What areyou,|some kind offuckin chicken?
{169551}{169589}No.
{169592}{169647}I was an artist...
{169650}{169713}stupid!
{169716}{169765}I was inspiration!
{169768}{169842}A muse has no place in battle.
{169845}{169926}So after the fallen|were banished to Hell...
{169929}{169987}God turned on those|that wouldnt fiight...
{169989}{170059}and Azrael was sent down|with the demons...
{170062}{170145}something he considers|a great injustice.
{170148}{170212}Oh, come on.
{170215}{170306}Dont tell meyou never questioned|thejudgment, Serendipity.
{170309}{170391}No.|It never bothered me.
{170394}{170454}Soyou were an artist.
{170457}{170509}Big deal!
{170512}{170573}Elvis was an artist...
{170576}{170676}but that didnt stop him from|joining the service in time ofwar.
{170679}{170737}Thats why he is the king...
{170739}{170797}and youre a schmuck.
{170799}{170833}Nice.
{170836}{170893}So all this is about revenge.
{170895}{170984}Youre gonna unmake existence|becauseyou have a grudge against God?
{170987}{171099}After the fiirst million years?|No.
{171102}{171216}Escape from Hell|became my all-consuming reason.
{171219}{171353}So I studied the religions and waited|for my opportunity to present itself...
{171356}{171401}which it fiinally did...
{171404}{171463}in Catholicism.
{171465}{171502}Plenary indulgence.
{171505}{171562}But I couldnt exercise it.
{171564}{171638}Demons cant become human.
{171640}{171704}No, we cant transubstantiate.
{171749}{171793}But angels can.
{171830}{171869}Bartleby and Loki.
{171921}{172011}After that it was a simple matter|ofwaiting for a church...
{172014}{172067}to celebrate their centennial...
{172070}{172238}and when that fiinally happened I sent|the pair an article laced with ideas.
{172241}{172299}An incantation|I picked up in the pit...
{172301}{172364}kept them cloaked|and off Heavens radars.
{172367}{172461}And aside from the triplets here|and the Golgothan...
{172464}{172577}no soul in Hell had a clue|as to what was going on.
{172580}{172669}But the Almighty|could still putsch the whole deal...
{172672}{172776}so I dispatched Him|in a fairly ingenious fashion.
{172779}{172852}Her. And how?
{172854}{172931}Thats the only thing|I couldnt fiigure out.
{172934}{173022}Oh, no, lve seen|way too many Bond movies to know...
{173024}{173112}thatyou never reveal|all the details ofyour plan...
{173114}{173217}no matter how close|you may thinkyou are to winning.
{173219}{173314}The only "X" factorwas the involvement|ofthe last scion here.
{173355}{173477}But fat lot ofgood that did, right?|I mean, hereyou all are.
{173561}{173655}Powerless to stop the inevitable.
{173658}{173781}Look, asshole, I dont know|ifanyone explained the rules toyou...
{173784}{173900}but ifyou succeed everything gets|blinked out ofexistence, even you.
{173903}{173992}Human, haveyou ever been to Hell?
{173994}{174059}I think not.
{174062}{174129}Id rather not exist|than go back to that.
{174132}{174261}And ifeveryone has to|go down with me, so be it.
{174264}{174339}Still thinking only aboutyourself...
{174342}{174400}you fucking child!
{174402}{174464}Now, now, now.
{174491}{174581}Things are getting|too intense in here.
{174584}{174660}Hey! What say|we watch a little TV?
{174663}{174722}Yo, put on channel 9.|DaveyandGoliath.
{174764}{174896}Actually, I was thinking|more along the lines ofcurrent events.
{174898}{174970}Keeprolling!Keeprolling!
{174973}{175058}Irepeat,|men withhuge fucking wings...
{175061}{175125}havelaidwaste toSt. Michaels!
{175128}{175198}Bullets dontseem toaffect them!
{175223}{175311}Theremainderofthe crowd|have droppedto theirknees...
{175313}{175383}identifying this|as the fabledapocalypse.
{175386}{175471}Now, lm notaman offaith,|butlm inclinedtoagree.
{175474}{175599}Oh, God, please, dontcomeanycloser!|God, no!
{175842}{175938}You see that?|And I told them to keep a low profiile.
{175941}{176048}Id be pissed, but in a couple minutes|its not going to matter anyway.
{176173}{176203}Oh?
{176248}{176320}Oh, now what was that|all about?
{176323}{176371}What?
{176374}{176448}Oh, nothing.
{176451}{176515}I had something in my eye.
{176518}{176600}Now whos the fucking child?
{176636}{176731}What did you tell him,|to hit me with the golfclub?
{176752}{176861}Areyou serious? lm a fucking demon.|Youd have him assault me with a putter?
{176893}{176955}You want to play?|Then well play.
{176958}{177011}One side, Red.
{177034}{177084}Go ahead, then.|Pick it up.
{177087}{177121}Call it a gift.
{177166}{177225}Come on.
{177228}{177270}Thats it.
{177317}{177364}Take a shot.
{177367}{177474}Takeyour best fucking shot.
{177519}{177590}Seriously. Im not kidding.|Take it. Come on.
{177626}{177684}Come on, bright boy.
{177919}{178001}Dontyou know anything?
{178466}{178524}Bethany, bless the sink!
{178526}{178581}- What?|-Just do it!
{178584}{178643}Bless the sink, damn it!
{179371}{179436}Thats whatyou get,|motherfucker.
{179513}{179578}But lm a fucking demon.
{179798}{179835}Whatjust happened?
{179838}{179917}He said it himself:|"lm a fucking demon."
{179920}{180050}Hit a demon with an instrument ofGod,|the pure side so itll do some damage.
{180053}{180114}Silent Bobs an instrument ofGod?
{180117}{180235}No, but Glicks the kind ofasshole|whod bless his clubs for a better game.
{180237}{180328}- But the sink?|- Youve got the divine heritage.
{180331}{180398}Sanctifying isjust|one ofthe fringe benefiits.
{180401}{180474}Remind me to try the water-to-wine thing|at my next party.
{180476}{180571}- How far away is this church?|- Three towns over, about ten miles.
{180574}{180632}- Rufus, grab the gun.|- Ten steps ahead ofyou.
{180634}{180700}Take the bartenders car.|He wont need it.
{180703}{180799}The whole fucking worlds against us,|dude, I swear to God.
{181154}{181204}Oh, my God.
{181588}{181669}And people wonderwhy|I dont go to church anymore.
{181672}{181709}Are we too late?
{181712}{181789}To save these poor schmucks?
{181843}{181875}Yeah.
{181878}{181957}But we still exist.
{181960}{182014}Where are they?
{182017}{182091}They could already be|in the church.
{182094}{182156}Which means ifthey come out,|nobody touches them.
{182159}{182201}Areyou shitting me?
{182204}{182324}The brother here is gonna shred em with|his angel-be-good special. Huh, homey?
{182327}{182385}Ifthey pass through that arch,|they come out clean.
{182387}{182450}And ifthey die,|they go straight up.
{182453}{182525}And hello!|We know what happens then, right?
{182528}{182599}- Why dont theyjust kill themselves?|- Its a mortal sin.
{182602}{182686}Die with a mortal sin on your soul and|you burn. They dont want to go to hell.
{182689}{182804}Then what, are we supposed tojust wait|for a solution to fall from the sky?
{182931}{182971}Friend ofyours?
{182974}{183032}No, that was a cardinal.
{183034}{183148}You cant tell from his face,|but the rosaries are a dead giveaway.
{183151}{183228}Its one ofthem!|Kill that motherfucker!
{183231}{183268}Dontyou listen?
{183271}{183360}- We cant touch him!|- I wasnt. I was gonna shoot his ass.
{183363}{183431}Hes been at it for a while now.
{183434}{183481}Please! Please!
{183517}{183574}We ran out ofparishioners...
{183577}{183706}so hejust started picking up folk|offthe road andjust dropping em.
{183709}{183805}This isjust eons ofrepression|getting purged.
{183836}{183899}Ifonly theyd let usjerk off.
{183941}{183993}Whoops.|Take a step back.
{184124}{184166}Let me go!
{184201}{184269}Why?|What areyou trying to prove?
{184272}{184373}- All these people!|- Hey, this wasnt my idea!
{184404}{184446}Jesus Christ!
{184487}{184545}I just wanted to go home.
{184547}{184601}But him, you know...
{184604}{184675}hejust lost it.
{184678}{184774}He realized whoyou were|and whatyou were gonna have to do.
{184777}{184820}Hejust snapped.
{184823}{184931}The funny thing is, this guy|could never even stand to see me work.
{184934}{185026}He said he felt sorry|foryou people.
{185058}{185104}Now look at him.
{185107}{185168}This guys fuckin drunker than hell.
{185171}{185245}Which means hes human now.
{185287}{185349}His wings have been cut off.
{185548}{185606}The muse?
{185608}{185670}Oh, no way!
{185673}{185756}I havent seen you--|You look terrifiic. Wow!
{185759}{185823}Whats with the tits?|Can l--
{185826}{185893}Haveyou walked|through the arch yet?
{185995}{186101}Tell me. Haveyou gone in|and come out through the archwayyet?
{186104}{186144}No!
{186297}{186339}Hes back.
{187039}{187097}We were awaiting your arrival.
{187099}{187190}Bartleby, wait. Stop.|Listen to me.
{187193}{187274}You cant go through with this.|Azrael wasjust using you.
{187277}{187314}Ifyou go back--
{187341}{187430}Ive become aware ofthe repercussions.|I know what lm doing.
{187474}{187524}You sick, twisted fuck!
{187572}{187609}Bethany.
{187705}{187804}You, ofall people, should understand|what lm trying to accomplish here.
{187807}{187894}You too know what it feels like|to be cast aside.
{187897}{187988}Butyouve only dealt with the pain|a fewyears.
{187991}{188083}Ive dealt with it for a millennia.
{188086}{188219}Whileyou never seeyour ex-husband or|how blissful he is with his new wife--
{188266}{188303}and he is--
{188399}{188540}seeing you people every day on this|perfect world He created foryou...
{188543}{188594}is a constant reminder...
{188597}{188688}that though my kind came fiirst...
{188691}{188753}your kind was most revered.
{188791}{188861}And whileyou know forgiveness...
{188864}{188922}we know only regret.
{188954}{189008}The lesson must be taught.
{189011}{189069}All are accountable...
{189071}{189108}even God.
{189147}{189212}Soon a cadre ofpolice will arrive...
{189215}{189312}just in time to kill us|as we exit the church.
{189350}{189454}Then this failed experiment|called existence...
{189457}{189501}will cease to be.
{189504}{189550}No. Hey. Hey!
{189632}{189689}I cant letyou do that,|Bartleby.
{189692}{189754}This has gone too far.
{189814}{189886}I might have to takeyou down.
{189933}{189987}Its okay. Shh.
{189990}{190037}Ill do it.
{190181}{190239}My compatriot.
{190279}{190355}Genocide takes a lot out ofhim.
{190358}{190395}Hes weakened.
{190398}{190441}Youre weak.
{190444}{190528}More importantly,|hes also a human being...
{190531}{190596}a condition which carries|two liabilities--
{190651}{190704}a conscience...
{190729}{190771}and...
{190862}{190939}a short life span.
{190942}{191025}Im sorry, old friend,|butyou lost the faith.
{191858}{191916}Hes lost it.|Were fucked.
{191918}{191986}- Were absolutely fucked!|- I hear that shit.
{192028}{192070}I cant believe this.
{192073}{192151}Were on the brink ofnonexistence,|and Gods still nowhere to be found.
{192154}{192246}- What kind ofdeity gets kidnapped?|- Amen to that.
{192453}{192516}What the hell areyou doing?
{192519}{192624}Ifthe whole worlds gonna end,|you said youd fuck me.
{192746}{192833}- Youre a pig.|- Nobodys gonna beat that thing.
{192836}{192943}We can lay here all comatose like that|John DoeJersey bastard over there...
{192946}{193034}- orwe can get makin with the love.|- What did you say?
{193036}{193098}Make with the love.|Its a nice way ofsaying boning.
{193101}{193146}No, aboutJohn DoeJersey.
{193261}{193350}That guy, the one theywont take|offlife support--John DoeJersey.
{193353}{193414}This is where hes at--|St. Michaels Hospital.
{193461}{193504}Wheres the nearest boardwalk?
{193507}{193585}I aint got time to win you a prize.|We gotta get to the fucking.
{193588}{193661}- Where is it?|- Asbury Park, about fiive miles away.
{193664}{193725}- Haveyou ever been there?|- Once, with this chick.
{193728}{193818}We were about to fuck on the carousel|and I got sick, started puking.
{193821}{193876}- Do they have skeeball there?|- Yeah.
{193979}{194036}Thats what lm talkin about.
{194277}{194369}Whateveryou do, stall Bartleby|from going into that church.
{194372}{194436}Bob, come with me.|Come on!
{194439}{194519}- How am I supposed to do that?|- Think ofsomething!
{194522}{194588}I already did,|but it takes two ofus!
{194614}{194680}Irepeat, thisisnota drill.
{194683}{194736}Thisis theapocalypse.
{194739}{194820}Please exit thehospital|inan orderlyfashion.
{194823}{194875}Thankyou.
{195338}{195386}Hey, Big Bird!
{195413}{195463}Ready for the counting game?
{195607}{195666}Count the shells, Suck-a-Duck.
{196511}{196570}No more bullets.
{196572}{196637}Now, what the fuck|would you do that for?
{196640}{196727}Angels have to cut theirwings off|to become human.
{196730}{196791}Youjust did him a favor,|stupid!
{198193}{198273}I hopeyoure the skeeball type.
{199506}{199578}Oh, Bartleby.
{199581}{199690}Was Wisconsin really that bad?
{199693}{199755}Bow down, stupid!
{200312}{200369}Im sorry.
{201041}{201136}Anyone who isnt dead|or from another plane ofexistence...
{201139}{201251}would do well to cover their ears|right about now.
{201254}{201315}What the fuck?
{201500}{201560}Thankyou.
{202514}{202563}It never ends!
{203164}{203226}Get offofme.|I wanna see whats up.
{203229}{203303}What the fuck is this shit?
{203306}{203357}Who the fuck areyou, lady?
{203360}{203433}Why the fuck did you hug my head?
{203436}{203523}Quite a little mouth on him,|isnt there?
{203526}{203615}What the fuck is this, The Piano?|Why aint this broad talkin?
{203617}{203776}I believe the answers thatyou seek|lie within my companions eyes.
{203779}{203877}What the fuck does that mean?|Has everyone gone fuckin nuts?
{203880}{203969}What the fuck happened|to that guys head?
{203971}{204030}Shh.
{204496}{204546}Where was she?
{204549}{204625}Imprisoned in a body.
{204628}{204715}Bethany fiigured it all out.|Shes a clever girl, that one.
{204761}{204808}Hang on a minute.
{205842}{205899}You missed a bit.
{205946}{206033}Well, then, you ready|to go back, apostle?
{206036}{206109}You ready to make some ofthose|changes I been talking about?
{206112}{206146}Well see.
{206149}{206195}Muse?
{206198}{206275}Seeing as howyou|just had to get involved...
{206278}{206345}youre welcome|to return with us as well.
{206348}{206435}First I gotta say good-bye to Bethany.|Where is she?
{206438}{206480}Oh, no.
{207118}{207191}Metatron, is she--
{207194}{207263}Afraid so.
{207266}{207385}One ofthe drawbacks to being a martyr|is thatyou have to die.
{207388}{207464}But no matter.
{207750}{207807}All is being taken care of.
{207841}{207883}How so?
{207918}{208010}Wax on, wax off.
{208717}{208750}How did l--
{208753}{208803}She can rebuild you.
{208806}{208853}She has the technology.
{208856}{208978}She can makeyou better,|stronger, faster.
{209152}{209185}Thats...
{209218}{209301}A very relieved deity.
{209355}{209435}You did well, little girl.|I knewyoud come round.
{209438}{209510}Your kind always does.
{209547}{209620}You might want to|take good care ofyourself.
{209623}{209706}Were gonna need you down the road.
{209709}{209782}I know.|Im the last scion.
{209863}{209956}Well, youre halfright.
{209959}{210046}You were the last scion.
{210099}{210141}But now...
{210174}{210219}this...
{210242}{210304}is the last scion.
{210396}{210453}Im pregnant?
{210524}{210588}Cant put anything pastyou.
{210688}{210763}Take care ofthat parcel for us.
{210766}{210883}She has a world ofwork|ahead ofher.
{211226}{211287}Thankyou for...
{211290}{211349}I dont know...
{211352}{211389}everything.
{211502}{211604}God, theres a million things|I wish I could askyou...
{211607}{211728}most ofit questioning your great plan,|and thatd be arrogant ofme, I know.
{211752}{211815}But there is one I need to ask.
{211818}{211926}Im sureyou get it all the time, but|how many chances like this will I get?
{211986}{212044}Why are we here?
{212542}{212629}Didnt I tell you she was funny?
{212836}{212913}I really enjoyed meeting you.
{212936}{213000}It was an honor.
{213141}{213228}You did so well.
{213368}{213455}I told you She was a woman.
{213514}{213585}Shes not really a woman.
{213588}{213661}Shes not really anything.
{213664}{213713}Shes something, all right.
{213750}{213816}Crisis offaith over?
{213819}{213906}I think lm now burdened|with an overabundance.
{213909}{213966}When it rains, it pours.
{213969}{214035}Areyou saying you believe?
{214075}{214134}But I have a good idea.
{214137}{214179}Yes!
{214298}{214355}The Man was right aboutyou.
{214358}{214448}Now lm gonna go home|and tell Him so.
{214476}{214533}And ifyou clean upyour language...
{214536}{214609}I just might put in|a good word foryou too.
{214612}{214659}Thanks.
{214706}{214778}Why dontyou name the kid|after me?
{214864}{214916}Rufus.
{215708}{215780}Yo, we should go to Quick Stop.
{215926}{215983}Youse guys|wanna hear something sick?
{215986}{216073}I got halfa stalk|when she kissed me.
{216076}{216148}I couldnt help it.|The bitch was hot.
{216151}{216287}You cant talk to me that way anymore.|Im gonna be somebodys mother.
{216290}{216334}Youre pregnant?
{216385}{216490}You know, when youre pregnantyou can|have sex until the third trimester.
{216492}{216550}Ill keep that in mind.
{230337}{230454}So, that wouldmake Bethany|partblack?
